{Deep breath} it’s gonna be okay…
Y’all, I’m frustrated. I’m angry. And I’m pissed off. I don’t think we’re getting it. I don’t think that men are getting it.
I can’t tell you how many thousands upon thousands of words I’ve written in this space over the past two-plus years. Granted, I love every second of it. And yet I still see it.
We’re not getting it!
What is IT? Read on.
Gentlemen, we’re sleepwalking through life!
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Today’s piece is a plea. It’s a plea to the good men out there reading this. I have an urgent challenge to all reading this.
And whenever my mom got a burr in her saddle, she did one thing.
“I’m gonna write a letter.”
So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. It’s time for a letter to all of the men out there.
Make no mistake, this isn’t a glass house rock throwing situation here. I can be guilty of this too. And you have to want to transform before you can transform.
Okay…here goes nothing…
Dear Gentlemen,
Look, I love you all. I really do. I think an awakened and conscious man is one of the greatest creations of humanity. We’re able to attract higher-quality partners. We can be the leaders our world so desperately needs.
An awakened and conscious man is a king. Plain and simple.
And I consider myself an awakened and conscious man. It’s a process that I’ve taken on and it’s a process that remains in progress. But as my coach so eloquently said to me one day last week – being a grown up isn’t a straight line. I’m an awakened man…usually.
The more I see of the world, the more I see that we’re the minority instead of the majority.
I want to issue a challenge. I want to challenge the men reading this. And I want to challenge the women in our lives to hold us accountable.
Are y’all ready for this? Here goes nothing.
I challenge us all to WAKE THE FUCK UP!
Its time. It’s way beyond time to wake up. The world – our world – deserves awakened men! We deserve men who aren’t afraid to be real! We deserve men who aren’t afraid of our feelings. Our partners deserve men who lead from our hearts.
The world deserves men who are fully realized and actualized human beings.
We need to wake up!
Y’all, it’s on each and every one of us to take this initiative. It’s up to all of us to listen, learn, and become kings!
I know people. There are people in this world who are committed to seeing men wake up and become kings. These are people who are committed to seeing men live from their hearts.
My friend Rachel is one of these people. She’s spoken to some of the biggest college football programs in the country, and her reach is growing every day. She’s speaking to men who already have big platforms and helped so many awaken to their inner king.
My friend Michael has led men’s retreats for the sole intention of supporting men to awakening their gentle masculine power.
I could go on and on and on. Rachel and Michael are but two committed to seeing men live big lives. And to wake up!
This awakening – this is my purpose in life!
So often men are taught as little boys to toughen up. And I cannot tell you how deeply that drives me crazy!
As I prepared to write this letter, I ran upon this 2012 piece in the Guardian about an English footballer named Dean Windass.
Here was a successful footballer who once played in England’s Premiere League – their highest level. The piece wasn’t just about his exploits on the pitch. It spoke about his mental wellbeing and surviving suicide attempts.
Here’s a guy who you’d think had it all. And he couldn’t bring himself to get the help he needed. Fortunately, he got help before it was too late.
This is more than we can say for Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, Anthony Bourdain – I mean, the list could go on forever.
And I’m not just talking about suicide either. I’m talking about men who fall into depression, addiction, compulsive behaviors, and end up taking advantage of women and kids. All because they can’t accept themselves and they can’t get real.
Gentlemen, we’re sleepwalking through life!
I’m not going to stand for it anymore! I can’t sit idly by and watch so many beautiful, brilliant, talented, and soulful men wind up going down dark and dusty roads because they can’t get real with themselves!
Gentlemen – wake the fuck up before it’s too late!
Make no mistake, I don’t blame y’all. I blame society that doesn’t allow us to be fully realized human beings. They don’t allow us to be Kings!
I think it was maybe 2015 when I first saw this. And I encourage everybody to get on YouTube and seek this out.
It’s a Ted Talk by a man named Joe Ehrmann. Joe is a former pro football defensive lineman and football coach turned pastor and motivational speaker.
I’ll never forget these words as long as I live. The thesis of Joe’s talk is this statement:
“What are the three most dangerous words a boy can hear? Be a man.”
“What are the three most dangerous words a boy can hear? Be a man.” Joe Ehrmann
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It’s a crazy powerful talk and I highly encourage you to check it out.
As boys, we’re surrounded by well-intentioned people. But sometimes these well-intentioned people can misstep and lead us down bad paths.
I’m not yet a parent of a human child. But when and if I am blessed to become a father, and especially if I become the father of a son, I want him to be free to become a fully-realized human being. However, that looks for him.
Y’all, it’s on all of us to be this. We have GOT to set an example for each other. We’ve got to be kings in the world. We’ve got to be the awakened and conscious men that the world needs us to be.
More and more we’ve grown to expect less and less from each other. And that’s got to change.
Let’s get the world working again. Let’s be Kings! And let’s wake the fuck up!
With love and Gratitude,
King Ryan
I’m eager to connect with as many of you as possible. I want to support more men to step up and be kings. And I don’t like yelling. I’m scheduling sample coaching sessions now. Simply email [email protected] so we can make that happen.
PPS. Let’s get the world to work again. Let’s be kings!
As the late Teddy Pendergrass once sang “Wake up everybody, no more sleeping in bed. No more backward thinkin’, time for thinkin’ ahead.”
Wake up! And let’s be kings for once and for all!
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash