Divorce and Breakups: My Lesson Was Never About Self-Worth

We often hear of how a woman who is unable to walk away has low self-worth.

As much as I tried to make sense of this, it never really resonated.

And yet, this had led me to realize the real lesson behind my love life.

The common pattern

As I look back, I realized that I was always the one either deciding to separate or sabotaging it with a triggering conflict.

All of my exes, except for one, were in love with me. They couldn’t give me what I needed, but they still tried their best to stick around.

And because our feelings for each other were real, we tried to stay together for the longest time possible.

And yet deep down, I knew that staying together wouldn’t be good for us.

Knowing all this, I couldn’t let them go, and yet I was often running away from them too.

The real lesson

Even though I knew that we had to end things, I still struggled with it.

Not because I didn’t believe I deserved happiness. But because I always had a hard time accepting an ending.

I wanted to believe that love conquers all.

I wanted to hang onto the precious connection between our souls.

One of my exes used to say that even though we might meet again in another lifetime, we won’t be the same people anymore.

I struggled to accept that all those unique moments, jokes and memories would slowly fade away from our minds as we move on with life.

I know that continuing a relationship when it is not sustainable anymore would eventually kill the love and connection between us anyway.

I’m just not good with endings.

Of what once was so precious.

Mónica Valverde is a daydreamer navigating the experience of human life. She’s in love with Spirituality, Inner Work and Relationships.

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