Do you think, opposites genuinely pull us in, like magnets in love?
There are plenty of Stories I have heard of the introverted bookworm who develops a crush on an adventurer, as well as that of the wild party animal falling in love with a reflective thinker. It’s been a joy for Hollywood.
However, how much of it is a romantic tale and how much is pure, emotional reality?
First off, let’s get something straight: differences are exciting.
Imagine this. It is as old as the story of the rock n roll addict and a classical music lover. It’s not simply an exchange of songs when this happens; it becomes an interchange of worlds, experiences, and emotions.
The differences take us out of our comfort zones and expose us to perspectives we have never come across as well as challenges that we may not have experienced before. Every argument, every argument about whether Bach is better than the Beatles makes us reassess our positions and broaden our horizons.
But Wait, There’s Science!
Research reveals that most relationships are successful if they develop from similar values and interests rather than the initial attraction of opposite characteristics.
Couples reporting higher relationship satisfaction had been found to have partners with similar personalities in a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Well, I believe that we are attracted to ‘opposes’ because of our own growth. Maybe it is these things in other people which draw us, to imagine that with luck or by wishing hard we may catch up.
And you know, According to Chinese philosophy, Yin and Yang which says, opposite forces that are connected and dependent on each other. It’s about a tug of war between dark and light, and between passive and active.
and if we apply this to love, there could be some truth that our ‘opposite’ partner balances our extreme traits, completes our experiences, and gives us a fully rounded life. And yes! I completely agree with this.
On the flip side, we have the age-old wisdom:
“Birds of a feather flock together.”
This relates to the fact that mutual experiences, deep understanding, and similar interests can lay in foundations of long-term relationships.
The Layers of Attraction
It’s important to distinguish between superficial and ingrained differences while discussing opposites.
For example, if I say, A staunch vegan may fall for a steak lover and find common ground in their respect for each other’s freedom of choice or their love of animals. The path could be more difficult for two people whose moral principles or life ambitions are fundamentally at odds.
In simple words, if I say, Love is not just black and white. It’s a vibrant, multi-hued spectrum.
Some of us feel at ease with our opposites and some enjoy our time with birds of the same feather.
The key takeaway? What matters is not whether you are opposites or the same but rather your ability to understand each other, respect each other, and share in each other’s personal and joint growth journey.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Myznik Egor on Unsplash
