Does a Long-Distance Relationship Work?

I was curious to know about this. Because, according to one research study, 14 million couples in the United States consider themselves in long-distance relationships.

I had never been in a long-distance relationship, but I wanted to know because I was curious. I posted a question on Reddit: “What is your long-distance relationship story? Has it worked?”

So many of them commented on their stories; most of them worked, some didn’t work, and some didn’t try.

For example, one guy moved from the UK to Australia and then to Japan to marry his Japanese girlfriend. He is in Tokyo, and for him, the long-distance relationship worked well.

Also, another commented that her wife lived 1200 miles away when they met. However, after approximately one and a half years, they married. It also worked.

But recently, before three months of semester break, when I met Lisa, she told me that her long-distance relationship hadn’t worked.

I asked why.

She told me several reasons, but the most important was time. They were both not able to talk to each other. Because he is in Canada and she is in the Philippines.

She talked about how the time zone made it hard for them to talk at a time that worked for both of them. Also, she said that they had a hard time feeling linked and involved in each other’s daily lives because they lived far apart.

The relationship ended in the end, despite their best efforts. They were both sad, but they knew that distance was sometimes too much to conquer.

There are so many factors that determine whether a long-distance relationship works or not.

Real Challenges

Okay, could you not put it lightly?

If you are in LDR, it’s not easy.

Without your partner, the first and most clear problem is being apart. People in a love relationship do many little physical things together, like holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and more.

Psychologists say physical presence is important to interpersonal bonding.

I mean, you know. Physical closeness improves emotional intimacy and regulates emotions, which is not possible in long-distance relationships. In long-distance relationships, couples must find other methods to develop these bonds. For example, communicating via texting, calling, and video chats often.

Communication is another big problem.

Misunderstandings are more likely to happen when you can’t see each other. The tone of voice and body language are two very important parts of a good conversation that are often lost in digital messages.

Also, making plans for people in different time zones can be like putting together a difficult puzzle.

Trust and security are also major concerns in LDRs.

When you’re miles apart, doubts can easily creep in.

For example “Is our connection strong enough to withstand the distance?” “Are we both equally committed to this?”

These questions can turn into breeding grounds for insecurity and jealousy, which, if not managed well, might lead to the relationship’s downfall.

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What Does Science say?

You want to believe this, but LDRs make the conversation better. How?

A study from 2013 by Cornell University and the City University of Hong Kong found that the way long-distance couples talk to each other often makes them feel closer.

What these partners talk about more often is their private thoughts and feelings, which make them feel closer to each other.

Because of the distance, partners have to have deeper talks, which might not happen as often in relationships where people live close to each other. This study also showed that couples who live far apart tend to fight less often (another perk).

This could be because they value keeping the peace when they can’t talk to each other as often.

Also, one study from 2013, gives some surprising results. The study looked at how dating couples talked to each other every day using different types of technology. It found that people in LDRs often have better bonds because they talk to each other more often and in more depth, which includes sharing more about themselves and seeing the best in their partners’ behavior.

This closer feeling is especially clear when partners text, where they have to work harder to get around the limitations of the medium.

The results show that long-distance relationships may make bonds stronger, despite traditional preferences for being close by.

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Surprising stats

10 percent of all marriages in the United States started with long distances.

40 percent of long-distance relationships ended in breakups. But the important thing is that 60 percent worked.

The relationship with proper communication in long distance relationships has a lower rate of breaking up.