Domestic Violence Is a Hydra-Headed Monster That Has To Stop

Domestic violence has become a “silent epidemic”.

It typically occurs within the haven of our residences but there appears to be a taboo on talking about it.

Traumatised victims become trapped in relationships devoid of romantic love, and children bear the biggest brunt.

Domestic violence is also a hydra-headed monster, occurring worldwide as a leading cause of death and injuries for women of childbearing age.

In this article, I will explore the various forms and theories of domestic violence, barriers to reporting, and steps that victims can take to seek the needed help.

Outline

What is domestic violence?
Global statistics on domestic violence
Types of domestic violence
The theories of domestic violence
Forms of domestic violence
Impacts of COVID Pandemic on domestic violence
Health consequences of domestic violence
Barriers to reporting domestic violence
Steps to take if you are a victim of domestic violence
Conclusion

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What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence occurs within a household and can be between two or more members within that residence.

There are other terms used to describe domestic violence. These include domestic abuse, family violence, intimate partner abuse, and intimate partner violence. I will now elaborate on them in more detail.

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Global statistics on domestic violence

Domestic violence affects people of all ages and socioeconomic, religious and cultural groups. But, women and children bear the overwhelming global burden. However, men can also experience domestic violence even in same-sex unions.

Other vulnerable groups affected by domestic violence include pregnant women, those younger than 25, former victims of child abuse, the elderly, people with disability, and LGBTIQ+ people.

According to UN Women, around 736 million or 30 per cent of women aged 15 and older reported subjection to domestic violence worldwide.
In 2020, 81,000 women and girls lost their lives worldwide. Fifty-eight per cent died at the hands of an intimate partner or a family member. That means that a woman or girl is killed every 11 minutes in their home around the globe.
Twenty-six per cent of women aged 15 and older reported ever suffering violence at the hands of their current or former partners.
Globally, violence against women is commoner among people from lower to middle-income or “least developed” nations. That may represent cultural, religious and legal barriers to reporting violence.
2.2 million Australian adults reported physical and or sexual violence from their partners since turning 15.
In Australia, one woman a week and one man a month die in the hands of their current or former partner.

A woman or girl is killed every 11 minutes in their home somewhere around the globe.

UN Women

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Types of domestic violence

The following are the common types of domestic violence

Intimate partner violence (IPV): Domestic violence between romantic partners who may or may not be residing together in the same home. IPV may involve either current or former partners and is the most typical type of domestic violence. Women are affected more, but men can be victims including those in same-sex relationships.
Domestic violence between a parent and child. Examples include child abuse and elderly abuse.
Domestic violence between siblings.
Domestic violence among roommates.
Domestic animal violence: Any mistreatment or cruelty to a tame animal beyond the necessity for a regular disciple. That includes neglect, inflicting physical pain, suffering or death.

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The theories of domestic violence

There are two theories: the cycle of abuse and the power and control wheel.

1. The cycle of abuse

In her 1970 book “The Battered Woman”, psychologist Lenore Walker described the cycle of abuse or violence. The cycle of abuse relied on anecdotal evidence from interviews with abused heterosexual women.

The abuse cycle involves four stages.

Building tension: over a while, the abuser creates unhappy existence for the victim. They may manifest any of the love busters in marriage.
An abuse incident: following an escalating incident, the abuser physically, emotionally or sexually attacks the victim.
Reconciliation: the abuser regrets their action and asks for forgiveness which the victim grants.
Calm: normalcy returns.

The cycle then repeats itself. As time goes on, the interval shortens and the intensity of abuse increases.

2. The Power and Control Wheel

The Power and Control Wheel was developed in the 1980s by staff members of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs. People’s most common behaviour in abusive relationships displays on the wheel in a diagrammatic format.

In the centre of the wheel, you have power and control, representing the goals of abusive partners.
Within the spokes, you’ll find the various tactics used to achieve these goals and keep their victims feeling powerless to take action. Such tactics include intimidation, coercion, blaming and isolation.
Physical and sexual violence are on the outside of the wheel as the final expression of abuse.

One woman a week and one man a month die in the hands of their current or former partner in Australia.

Australia Bureau of Statistics

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Forms of domestic violence

1. Physical violence

May include slapping, hitting, kicking, beating, strangling or using a weapon such as sticks, belts, knives, or guns. Women live in dread that the next violent episode may be the last.

2. Sexual abuse

Includes forced intercourse, sexual coercion and reproductive coercion. For example, causing a woman to perform sex acts that she does not like or want to do. An example of reproductive coercion is when a man does not allow his partner to use contraception or force her to have an abortion.

3. Financial control

It occurs when the woman does not have access to money and necessities such as food, health services, employment, finances, and liberty.

4. Emotional or psychological abuse

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It includes sabotaging behaviours such as insults, intimidation, belittling, humiliation, and harassment. Also, there may be threats of harm to the spouse, their children or pets. The abuser may even blame the victim for the violence. Emotional abuse is commoner in partners with physical or intellectual disabilities.

Some of the comments that abusive victims reported include:

‘You’re lucky to have me. No one else would have you.’

‘You’re a hopeless mother.’

‘If you leave, I’ll kill you.’ ‘If you leave, you’ll never see the kids again.’

‘I married you and brought you to this country. You’d be nothing without me.’

5. Coercive control

It means taking control over aspects of your everyday life. That includes dictating where you can go, who you can see, or what you can wear. But unfortunately, it ends up isolating you from friends or families. It may also involve electronic tracking and monitoring all your movements, messages and emails.

Mental health coercion may involve:

Convincing others that the victim is crazy.
Controlling the victim’s use of prescribed medications.
Threatening suicide to manipulate a victim/ survivor.

Migrant and refugee women may be manipulated by their partners based on their visa status.

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Impacts of COVID Pandemic on domestic violence

Domestic violence has increased in the current COVID Pandemic. There was a 13% rise in reported domestic violence in Australia in 2020 compared to the previous year.

Some of the reasons include women isolated at home with their abusers for long periods amid economic instability, job layoffs and uncertainty. Also, social networks that usually act as a safety net collapsed during COVID.

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Health consequences of domestic violence

Physical injuries and disability

Anxiety and depression

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Chronic pain

Alcohol and drug abuse can be both a cause or effect of domestic violence

Unplanned pregnancies after sexual violence

Sexually transmitted infections and HIV from sexual violence

Death: On average, one woman in Australia dies in the hands of their partner or former partner each week. Globally, a woman dies every 11 minutes.

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Barriers to reporting domestic violence

Globally, less than 40 per cent of abused women seek help of any kind. Of those that seek help, most look to family and friends, and very few (less than 10%) look to the Police and other authorities. Some of the reasons for low reporting of violence and why women may continue with toxic relationships include:

Fear of reprisals from their abusive partners if they found out about the disclosure.
They may think that domestic violence is normal behaviour.
Lack of alternative sources of economic support.
Fear that no one will believe their story of abuse.
Concerns about the welfare of their children if they divorce.
Lack of support from friends and families.
The stigma attached to the disclosure of domestic violence
False hope that the abusive partner will change in the future.

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Steps to take if you are a victim of domestic violence

Speak up, don’t hide what is happening to you until it is too late.
Seek the support of your family, friends or religious groups
You can discuss such intimate matters with your medical practitioner, who will help you assess how safe you feel about returning home.
Develop a Safety Plan for yourself and your children. Such a plan includes compiling a list of emergency phone numbers, having your valuables and documents stored in a safe place outside of your home, and having some cash at hand.
If you are in imminent danger, don’t hesitate to contact your local Police, helplines/ hotlines, and women’s refuges or shelters urgently. In Australia, the Domestic Violence Crisis team is accessible on 1800RESPECT.
If the welfare of Kids is involved, contact the Child Protection service.

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Conclusion

Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviours and not mere isolated incidents that have, at its core, the abuse of power and control by one partner over another.

It is prevalent worldwide and causes death and injuries to young women. Intimate partner violence is the most typical form of domestic violence but can also affect men, even those in same-sex relationships.

When involved, children tend to bear the brunt.

If you face domestic violence now, please speak up and don’t hide what is happening to you until it becomes too late. Seek the help of your trusted family and friends. Create a safety plan. If in imminent danger, don’t hesitate to contact your local Police, helplines, or women’s shelters urgently.

Domestic violence is never okay. It has to stop!

PS: Suppose you have found any points in this post confronting your present or past relationships or mental health. In that case, I will urge you to call the Police, relevant hotlines, or your health practitioners for support.

Thanks for your time.

Sources

Understanding and addressing violence against women: Intimate partner violence. WHO. Available at:

https://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/handle/10665/77432/WHO_RHR_12.36_eng.pdf

The Royal Australian College of General Practitioners. RACGP Abuse and violence: working with our patients in general practice (the White Book). 5th edn. East Melbourne, Vic: RACGP, 2021.

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Originally published at https://davidonu.com on April 22, 2022.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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