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There’s a popular saying that says “Go big or go home”.
I like to say, “Dream big or go home”. Dads can be dream crushers or dream enhancers. We tend to be practical and focus on reality, not the possibilities, but what if we dreamed like our childhood dreams, wished as our child wishes and hoped like our child hopes? Would we be better for it?
There’s no telling how high we could soar.
Growing up, until my mid 30’s, all I ever dreamt about was becoming a police officer. Without exaggeration, I must have tested and been in the application process for almost 15 years with different agencies. Yet, the results were always the same, being disqualified for one reason or another.
It hurt. My hopes and dreams were shattered.
I had no back-up plan. All I knew was that I wanted to “serve and protect” the public and be a positive influence on others, but that dream never manifested.
Instead, I became a bureaucrat working for the government. All the while, hoping and dreaming that one day I would work in law enforcement.
When my firstborn came into the world, something inside me changed. I can’t explain it. An overwhelming sense of responsibility and determination to give this child everything that I didn’t have flooded my soul. More so, I wanted her to accomplish whatever dreams or goals she would one day hope to achieve.
My wife and I have two daughters now, and each of them has their own distinct dreams of what they want to achieve. At ten years old, the older one has declared that she is going to go to Columbia University to study journalism and to be an artist.
At eight years old, the younger one wants to be a geologist.
Where they got these ideas from, I have zero clue. At their age, I just wanted to be Batman or Spiderman.
Regardless, I want to encourage them to achieve whatever dream they have for the future, even if it means that they ultimately don’t achieve it.
I’m not an enabler in the strictest sense of the word. In fact, I’m very rigid, stick to your guns (as evidenced by my stubbornness to spend 15 years chasing a dream), kind of dad.
My mom had a saying growing up, “Leave no stone unturned”. I carry that adage with me today and want my daughters to leave no stone unturned in achieving their dreams.
As a dad, I feel it’s my duty to show my daughters that it is possible, with hard work and tenacity, to break down barriers, and achieve what appears to be insurmountable goals.
Nowadays, I dream of being a children’s book author or freelance writer, positively influencing people’s thoughts through the written word. A lofty goal I know, but I’m headstrong and determined to give it the “old college try”.
Dreams were meant to be big, bold and difficult. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be called “dreams”.
Maybe my aspirations will influence my daughters to look at their dreams and say, “that dream is too small, I need to dream bigger” and then go for it.
As a dad, if you have lost your dreams or a goal that you set out to achieve, don’t despair. You were designed with purpose and the game isn’t over yet.
No dream is too silly or foolish, it just might be unrealized or modified as you move forward to achieving it. The important part is that you don’t give up dreaming and seeking to achieve them.
Your child needs to know that as a dad, you have hopes and dreams, so they too can aspire to achieve something beyond themselves.
More so, your dreams and theirs should encompass how you impact other’s lives. If we’re just living for ourselves, then we’re missing the mark completely.
Currently, I write speeches for the leader of a law enforcement agency. The words I write are spoken to hundreds, if not thousands of people. Although my dream of becoming a police officer never materialized, my dream of influencing others is coming to pass through my writings and it’s something that I couldn’t have planned, only dreamt about.
I encourage you to recall those dreams you once had and see if it’s possible to take steps to achieve it, even if it takes you a long time. Share those dreams, even if it’s silly, with your children, let them know that dad dreams too.
Dad, you play a big role in how your child turns out. Don’t let your past failures be the earmark or standard that you measure your child’s dreams by. Little hearts and minds need someone to encourage and believe in them, that person should be you.
Take time today to ask your child about his or her dreams and start seeing if there are avenues you can move towards to helping your child achieve them.
Let your child know, that no dream is too big or small to accomplish, but it will take hard work, dedication, and a determination to “leave no stone unturned”.
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Zachery Román is a writer who musings on fatherhood in the context of strength, honor and courage through faith can be found at Fatherly.com and The Good Men Project.
I like to say, “Dream big or go home”. Dads can be dream crushers or dream enhancers. We tend to be practical and focus on reality, not the possibilities, but what if we dreamed like our childhood dreams, wished as our child wishes and hoped like our child hopes? Would we be better for it?
