I’m 53 years old and have been dating for more than half my life. Yes, I have had significant relationships and yes, I have been married. But in the spaces in between, I have dated using mostly dating apps. Sigh.
I’ve used the popular dating apps to swipe thousands of profiles and I’ve been on over 100 dating-app-first-dates. I’ve seen the best and the worst of the dating app universe. Trust me, I’ve seen it all.
I’ve discussed this topic with dozens of single women over the years and I would say that these tips are fairly unanimous. I’m not saying all women agree, but in my experience and research, most women agree there are effective ways to deter them from swiping right, messaging, meeting you or agreeing to go on a second date.
I’ve collected the top 10 things that men do to stay single and repel beautiful women…do these especially if you don’t want to have sex.
10. Lie about your age
I know several “good” guys who have done this because they are active and in great shape for their age. They learned the hard way that women don’t like to be lied to even if it’s well intentioned.
Why bother lie if you only drop your age by a couple of years? And if you drop your age by more than that, it will be obvious to your date when you meet or video chat.
If she’s amazing and you start dating her, you will eventually get caught in your white lie.
By the time you’re busted, you’re just another liar in her eyes and she’ll continue her search for an honest guy.
9. Skip the profile writeup
I think we all agree that dating apps are incredibly time consuming if you’re genuinely interested in meeting someone. The amount of time spent swiping, messaging, chatting and trying to finally meet up is a major time investment.
The less you add to your profile, the more time it takes to engage and get to you know you.
If there is nothing there except a couple of photos, it’s pretty hard to start the conversation from scratch. And then have to go through the process of asking the basic questions over the messaging feature…
Where are you from?
Do you have kids?
What do you do for work?
blah, blah, blah…?
Text, text, text — to find out an hour later we have nothing in common. I think I’ll skip the thumb workout and swipe left.
Still single and no prospects.
8. Post manly pics of stuff women don’t like
I can’t speak for all women on this, but I can speak for most women. We aren’t impressed by sports cars, rifles, motorcycles or big fish pics. Even if we like those things, your profile is not the place to flex your manly man-ness.
We are looking for anything on your profile that we may have in common with you. It doesn’t matter how hot you look in the pics, if we don’t find anything in common, we swipe left leaving you stranded with your catfish.
I thought guys on dating apps hated catfish (Photo by sablin on iStock by Getty Images).
7. Use more than one profile
You should create multiple accounts with conflicting information. When she sees the second profile, her trust immediately goes out the window and she’ll ghost you leaving you back where you started.
I live in one of the largest cities in the US and the online dating pool is huge. Even in my search area, I will eventually see the second and third profiles and get a chance to swipe left on all of them.
I’m still perplexed at why a guy would create more than one profile. My single friends and I have some theories, but we’re still not quite sure of the purpose. Player? Married? Felon?
Please comment if you have any insight into why someone would have multiple accounts on a dating app.
6. Mention Donald Trump or Joe Biden
If you don’t want responses, you should definitely add strong political rhetoric and demand that if I swipe right, I should have the same views. I see this all the time with comments like “orange scourge” and “let’s go Brandon” or with political memes and flag pics.
We are all aware that the political landscape today is a hot button. If you add political comments, you immediately cut your possibilities in half.
Even if we share your views, we swipe left because who wants a guy who won’t respect our point of view if we disagree?
Again, you end up single and sexless.
5. Talk about your ex or post pics of her
Mentioning your ex is a win-win scenario. If you say negative things about her, you’re damaged and angry. On the other hand, if you say positive things about her, you seem like you still have a thing for her.
Pics that include your ex, even if she is blurred or cropped out, show your life with her. We are looking for a fresh, clean start and the idea of a lingering past doesn’t seem enticing.
I guess he’s already taken a romantic trip to Italy (Photo by Diamond Dogs on iStock by Getty Images).
We swipe left and you can continue to be stuck on your ex.
4. Respond with one-word answers
As I mentioned, it takes a lot of time to swipe, message and connect with someone on a dating app.
So now we’ve both swiped right, we’re messaging, and we know just enough about each other to be interested in learning more. Now comes the hard part, staying engaged enough to continue to invest time.
I’m not gonna text again unless he says something interesting (Image created by author with Apple iMessage).
One-word answers say you’re either not very interested or not a very good communicator. Either way, it’s a dead end.
We give up and you’ve been ghosted and get to stay on your sex-free diet this weekend.
3. Post old pics
This is similar to lying about your age. We were all once young and beautiful. Posting pics of yourself when you had a full head of hair or before your beer gut drooped over your belt are great ways to get her to swipe right, but then what?
I’ve heard both men and women complain about this universally. We are equally turned off the instant we see the real person walking into the restaurant. Partially because you aren’t as attractive as your pics allude, but more importantly, we feel conned.
The date is cut short, and you are back to swiping.
2. Try to convince her to sext
This is number two because it is especially effective at ending any communication you may have begun with a potential sex partner.
It is so common that my single friends and I have tried to figure out if there are women that actually to respond this. We’ve discussed it over margaritas and compare stories about the “balls” on these guys.
Image created by author with Apple iMessage.
Note: I blocked this dude after several more texts trying to convince me.
To take this one step further, I’ve posed a question to dozens of women of all ages…
Do you ever want a dick pic?
The answer is unanimously “Never!”. This is simply because we ladies are different from you guys.
At one point, I received so many requests (some quite stealthy) for sexy pics and sex talk, I finally added a comment to my profile that said:
Note: I’m not interested in sexting with anyone I’m not in a relationship with. If that’s what you’re looking for, I’m not your girl.
If you’re looking for online sex, go somewhere else like OnlyFans or something…you’re making the good guys look bad.
Doing this just makes it seem like all you are looking for is sex. You’ll likely get blocked or ghosted…back to single and sexless.
1. Lie about being single
This is number one because it is the most devious thing you can do to make sure you don’t catch a beautiful, single woman.
If you’re married, separated, filed for divorce, have a girlfriend, ENM, or looking for a threesome with your partner…just say you are single.
Regardless of the number of swipes, messages and dates you have with a woman, there are only two ways it can go:
- You broach the subject by explaining your ENM relationship or asking for a threesome with your girlfriend.
- You get caught in your lie.
In both scenarios, when she finds out you aren’t single, she easily moves on. And in scenario 2, depending on your situation you might lose your wife/girlfriend as well (or at least end up in couples counseling, fun!).
Done and Done. No woman, no sex.
Photo by jonathan_kay on iStock by Getty Images
Just make sure you take off your wedding ring.
Goal Achieved: Single and Sexless
I hope this list of Dating App Tips gives you enough guidance to make sure you don’t find a lovely, beautiful partner and relieves you of all of the annoying sex that comes with it.
Seriously Tho…
A lot of great, single men and women are putting it all out there looking for a partner on dating apps. At times it is humiliating, frustrating and disappointing but we continue to have hope that we might meet that one special person that fits just right.
All of my experience and research can be boiled down to one overall nugget of advice for both men and women.
Be honest.
Be honest with who you are. Be honest with what you want.
Being honest in this process just may get you what you’re looking for.
This is the first of a two-part story. Part 2 offers dating-app tips to ladies. Take a look to see what it looks like on the other side of cyber meat market.
Ladies: 10 Dating App Tips to Keep You from Finding Your Soulmate
If you enjoyed this story, please give it a clap or two or leave a comment.
Sarah Writtenhouse is a writer, tech professional, cat lover, and single mother. Her favorite topics are dating, tech, and random stories to warm your heart.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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