Yo yo yo amigos.
As the title says, here are 5 rarely known facts about women. Enjoy.
1 – They get scared and nervous too
So, one of the craziest things I’ve noticed about guys during my time as a coach is how many of us think women are perfect. Now, of course, I’m sure most of you reading this will say:
Nah, bro! Not me! I know they’re as fucked up as anyone else!
But the truth is you most likely don’t. For instance, when you approach girls, do you ever consider that they might be nervous, too?
Not just in terms of you potentially rkoing them from ‘outta nowhere’, but do you ever think they might worry if they’re good enough for you?
That they might ever think:
Oh my God, I don’t know what to say to this guy; I hope I don’t make myself look stupid!
The crazy thing is that women have just as many insecurities as us, especially when it comes to dating. They worry that they’re not hot, cool, sexy, or intelligent enough, just like you. However, it doesn’t seem like that because when you first meet them, they tend to have their bitch shields up.
Ever noticed how women are so quick to write you off after the tiniest misstep? Like after a joke that was misinterpreted or whatever?
It’s because most of them live in states of mild fear where men are concerned and are protecting themselves at all times.
They want to meet an amazing man but are worried they’ll end up with an abusive prick or loser. Also, have you ever seen how emotional women get about men they’re really into? How nothing else seems to matter but that guy, and how can they lose themselves and their sanities over him?
They know all that. They know precisely how fragile their hearts can be, and they protect themselves from damage at all times where we’re concerned.
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2- Women don’t think men have feelings
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll have noticed that women tend to be way harsher with men than they are with other girls. They often don’t think twice about throwing insults our way that they’d never say to each other or children, and there’s a reason for that, which is this:
They essentially don’t think we have feelings.
If you look at what women are attracted to and disgusted by in men, you’ll notice a recurring theme.
Attracted to (among others):
- Dominance
- Mindsets that are stoic and unaffected by anything negative
- Persistence
Disgusted by (among others):
- Being upset
- People pleasing
- Being lost or confused in any way
What do you see there? Women are attracted to men who simply can’t be affected by anything life throws. They’re attracted to the psychological equivalent of the M1A2 battle tank.
Also, they live in a world where every man who approaches or even just talks to them is usually putting his best foot forward and trying to downplay any weakness he might have.
So yeah, this comes together with BS societal messages to let them think we don’t have feelings.
For instance, why do you think they dislike the idea of being a PUA? A considerable part of it is that they just assume it’s guys trying to fuck as many girls as possible.
They don’t realise that men who consistently go out and approach are facing harrowing fears and insecurities to better themselves because they don’t think we have any.
I’ve lost count of how many women’s minds I’ve blown by explaining that we’re scared to say hello and upset when we’re rejected.
That’s not an exaggeration, BTW; I literally mean I blew their minds.
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3 – Most women don’t think they’re allowed to make the first move
I’m not joking when I say this. We all know girls want us to make the first moves, but most of us think that’s just down to feminine privilege, and while that’s a massive part of it, another is just that they don’t think they’re allowed to.
Most women think approaching and initiating things like sex is literally the man’s job and that for them to do, it would be as ridiculous as walking into Mcdonalds, making themselves a happy meal, and helping their black asses to several of those toys that come with them.
They also assume you think that, too, and that if they did make the first move, you’d be just as confused and offended with them for doing it as the poor McDonald’s manager from my last metaphor.
When I’ve told girls most guys don’t like approaching them, they found it almost impossible to believe. They’ve always said things like:
No way, men are hunters. That’s what they do!
To which I ask them that if this was true, if men just love to hunt, why is it that porn (which is essentially male sexual fantasies) never involves the man having to work for sex? AT ALL??
That happens in female romance novels (female sexual fantasies) but not in erotica that’s aimed at men. If we really loved hunting for sex, we’d fantasise about it too.
Once that’s said, their minds are once again blown.
FYI, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that if women knew we’d be okay with them making first moves, they would, because the vast majority still wouldn’t. But the facts are the facts; most don’t even think it’s a possibility.
Think about that the next time you’re worried about whether or not you should make a move and ‘risk everything’ with a girl.
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4 – Women like putting men in the friendzone
If you really pay attention, you’ll notice the zeal with which women will say, “he’s just a friend!” when asked if they’re seeing a guy. They really like to categorise men into rigid boxes, and they also like it when that box clearly won’t paint them out to be a slut.
For instance, have you ever noticed that when girls post pictures with men on social media, they always make sure it’s clear that the man is just a friend in the caption?
They never post pics with men and leave it vague they always say things like “fun times with my brother from another mother!” and make sure there’s no chance of anyone thinking they’re fucking that dude.
But why?
Well, tbh, everything I’m about to say now is guesswork because I know they like to friend zone, but I’m not entirely sure why, so here’s my best guess.
Oh and as an FYI, I’m talking about why they enjoy the process of labelling a man as just a friend, I’m not talking about what actually makes them do the friendzoning. That’s another conversation.
Anyway, part of it is a desire to not look like a slut. Being a woman who has lots of sexual partners is seen as a bad thing in society, and most will do everything they can to not have people, or even themselves, see them that way.
Another part is a dislike of ambiguity, and here’s what I mean when I say that. Men, on the whole, are way more comfortable with uncertainty than women, and that’s why we tend to take more risks, whether quitting our jobs to start businesses, travelling on our own, or even approaching strangers.
Women, on the whole, really don’t like not knowing the status of something, especially relationships, and that’s why they’re usually the ones to say:
So what are we now?
After they’ve been dating someone for a while. They need the security of knowing exactly what’s what.
That’s a massive part of why they like to friendzone men. Because they didn’t like the uncertainty that comes from not knowing where they stand with a man and feel comfortable when there’s a nice neat box to put him in.
Oh, and once again, I’m talking about why they consciously enjoy friendzoning, not what causes them to do the friendzoning itself.
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5 – Getting them won’t make you happy
OOOOOHKAY!!! This one’s the humdinger of all humdingers, so here goes. The simple truth is that no amount of girls will make you happy, and the more you get, the more you’ll subconsciously move the goalposts of what you need to feel good about yourself.
Once you get one girl, you’ll need two, four, eight, and so on. But the thing is that your happiness comes from you, you, and only you and nothing else.
That’s why people like Kurt Cobain and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Avicii, Keith Flint and others killed themselves even though they had access to vast amounts of fame, wealth, and, of course, women.
Our society is kind of backwards; we chase happiness through external things like other people or possessions when, in truth, we have to cultivate it for ourselves.
Nothing or no one can make you happy but you. Now, as for exactly how you can do that, well, that’s a topic for another day, but the fact remains that no amount of women will ever make you happy, and I dare you to prove me wrong.
But to that point, you’ll never realise that for yourself until you learn how to attract them, so go out there and meet as many as you can to get this area of your life handled and ultimately evolve beyond it.
You got this.
Excelsior!
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I’ve teamed up with Teri Nickels to bring you Da Hard Truth, a new publication with dives deep into the uncomfortable realities of modern dating. Join it here!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash