The personal growth industry faces misconceptions, stereotypes, and generalizations by the media. Then, socially conditioned irrational behavior tends to takes things out of context. People make assumptions that everyone in a group are culpable after the bad apples get exposed. The dangers, the truths, pros, cons, SWOTs (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) of the personal growth industry get swept away when another Pick Up Artist is exposed. This can bleed over into leadership and motivation coaches, communications and social confidence experts, dating and relationships advisors, or whoever else is being called out in relation to the exposure of an unethical instructor, their audience, or students. There is some good to the media revealing the darkness that does exist in this not so underground industry.
Life coaching initially emerged as a way to help people who lacked informed knowledge about emotional awareness (facial expressions, body language, etc.), social intelligence (education), and fulfillment in dating and relationships (romantic, sexual, platonic, professional, and other types). Life coaching also branched out for those who already had emotional awareness skills, yet wanted more. For those who want more, Life coaches can provide evolved social skills, progressive principles/philosophies, and fresh perspectives (motivation/inspiration) in diverse contexts. Depending on who or what organization provides coaching services and goods through their modus operandi and motives, the genuine teachings of emotional awareness still live on. Then there are coaches who changed somewhere along their journey for the worse, not better, or they began with ulterior motives of manipulation, superficiality, and greed.
A person improves internally and changes positively, or lets external negative factors consume their identity and individuality.
Ultimately we can learn from the good, the bad, or the ugly.
Ethical Dilemmas and Social Justice Issues: The Bad and The Ugly
For better or for worse, let’s begin with the bad, the ugly, and the mentalities that exist in coaches who initially were genuine, or began genuine, then diverted toward the dark side. There are those who believe (to their very core) they have a sense of entitlement to fulfill their needs, desires, and agendas despite causing more harm than good.
The Entitled believe potential mates, or the people we interact with, are attracted to a prize. The Prize mentality places others on a pedestal and sees them as an object. The treatment comes through in The Entitled’s verbal and nonverbal communication signals. The Prize mentality is misogyny and misandry in disguise and isn’t tolerated in any size, shape, or form regardless of the justifications some choose to make.
The Socially Deviant takes a high risk for low reward by applying their entitlement mentality to attempts at deviant and potentially criminal behaviour. Then there are those who merely sit in front of a screen and read all the theories, tactics, and strategies yet never apply them for more than troll behavior online and offline. Another example are those who have read or obtained knowledge on the science of attraction, such as: evolutionary biology, sexuality, social sciences, humanities, health sciences, etc. and mix those fields with unsound or unproven theories and applications. This package is what they deliver to the students who take their seminars. Ultimately, they mix the lies with the truth or the truth with misleading guidelines. What is also common are those who primarily desire money. Rather than sincerely concentrating on teaching and interacting with people, they commit fraud and use deceptive behaviours behind the scenes.
Lesson: Don’t treat yourself and others as a Prize to Win. Embrace and Love Everybody
The above lesson is also true for oneself. As the saying goes, “Love All, Hate None, Trust A Few.”
Systematic Approaches and The Good
Systems and communities can be good, bad, ugly, or neutral. There are systems, communities, and approaches that have been created through ethical and moral programs. They do exist and prosper. People who need to learn social confidence and human interaction skills can reduce social anxiety and desire through personal growth programs that follow the ethics and morals of our contemporary society. The main premises of Moral Compass of Attraction and Social Adaptation are personal growth, self-development, and internal empowerment while following ethical and moral principles as one of the objectives to social evolution.
Treat others with respect, honesty, integrity, and share high social values with authenticity.
We’re all human beings who have the desire to connect with ourselves and others deeply, whether that be physically (supporting health/wellness), emotionally (sharing personal stories), mentally (connecting intellectually), or spiritually (empowering others journey).
However, results may vary.
“As to the methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Using Deductive Reasoning for Concrete Knowledge and Sound Wisdom
Guidelines provided by professionals in the personal growth industry can be used for good or bad depending on one’s incentives and actions. The actions can also be really ugly, as has been the case recently. The actions of some ‘bad apples’ don’t reflect the ethical and moral professionals who are trying to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. To judge the good based on the actions of the bad and ugly is intellectually and morally unsound.
Over-generalizations lead to fallacious, flawed, and irrational reasoning which leads to judgments to bitterness to internalized and externalized suffering—a ripple effect.
Experience isn’t everything, especially if a person hasn’t learned anything from their experience. Judging the experience of the good with the same thought process as the experience of negativity is like saying, “All apples are oranges.” When in reality, the perspective is more like “Apples. And Oranges.” There is a big difference.
Be Open-Minded while being perceptive and adaptable.
Mind over Matter: What one perceives, one can achieve passionately!
With Great Influence comes Great Responsibility
Achieve and Learn
Here are some topics about learning emotional awareness:
- Facial Expressions: Micro, Macro, False, Masked
- Social Skills through Influence
- The Arts and Sciences of Attraction
- Social Dynamics
- Social Structures: Proxemics (Space and Body Positioning)
- Haptics (Touch)
- Kinesics (Physical Gestures and Body Movement)
- Vocalics (Paralanguage)
- Chronemics (Structure and Use of Time in Nonverbal Communication) and so forth.
Evolving intelligently with effectiveness and quality requires ethicality and morality, love and respect, not manipulation and coercion.
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)The Dating Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Emerging Science of Human Courtship —