We believe a culture of consent goes far beyond the power of yes, and far beyond the scope of sexuality. What do you think?
You know one of my top five reasons for being part of The Good Men Project team? The conversation. What we share here on the site is really the icing — the cake is often what happens on our team calls and in our writer’s group. Our writer’s community is just one of the benefits of being a contributor.
This week our conversation turned to consent. And how consent isn’t about “not rape” because it isn’t just about sex. Consent is about the basic human right to say “no” and mean it.
Our publisher, Lisa Hickey, holds a weekly call for our writers and premium members. (You aren’t a premium member? You can change that now.) You can find the highlights from that call in our last “Inside the Conversation” post, but what we really want is for YOU to add to the conversation.
Do You Want to Write for The Good Men Project?
Here’s a great place to start. Have you ever thought about what “consent” really means? About how many little ways we deprive each other of the power of consent? About how the culture (and your life) would change if we not only gave consent (for everything from sex to loaning out a favorite t-shirt) but gave it with enthusiasm?
Our group of writers thought about it, and we decided we want a LOT of people to write about it. People like you, for instance. Whether you write about love and marriage, business and ethics, families and parenting, social justice and politics, or have a personal story you are ready to share, there is some aspect of “enthusiastic consent” that affects your topic and your life.
You can read the recap to see some of the ideas that came up.
— Like how grudging consent stretches marriages thin, or how compassion about the lack of enthusiasm can actually make those relationships stronger.
— Like how we are shamed in life and business for NOT giving consent and how it feels to be told that, since there is no justification for withholding consent we’re going to have to allow the other person to do as they choose.
— Like how medical professionals can make us feel that we have to consent to anything they recommend just because we consented to paying them a visit.
— Like how we think children don’t have a right to withhold consent, even for little things.
–Like how it isn’t enough for the other person to say “yes” because we say “yes” to a lot of things we don’t really want to do. True consent is given with a whole heart, with enthusiasm.
— Like how we all know, even when the other person doesn’t appear enthusiastic, we still know when the consent is grudging, or when they feel coerced as opposed to when they are pleased to honor our request.
Those are just a few of the topics that came up on our call. I’m sure you can think of others. But don’t just THINK of them, if you’re a writer grab your laptop, your phone, or an old fashioned notebook and pen and TELL us what you think. You’ll find submission guidelines and instructions here (please DO read the guidelines if you haven’t already) or you can submit directly to me at [email protected]
We’re looking forward to sharing your thoughts with our audience!