The desire to go through your partner’s phone isn’t all negative.
You’re lying in bed while your partner sleeps. Your partner’s cell phone vibrates once. The buzz is deafening. Your partner doesn’t stir. The phone vibrates again. What do you do?
Let’s be honest. You’re going to do whatever you want, regardless, so do whatever you want. Look, don’t look, drop the phone in the toilet. The most important part of this situation isn’t what you do, but why you do it.
If you find yourself in the situation above, and there is a lack of trust in a relationship, you’re probably already reading this article on your partner’s phone. Feeling that you need to look is usually a sign that you have questions about what they are doing and with whom. No matter how you spin it, going through your partner’s phone is a sign that something is not right in your relationship.
Next time you get the urge, ask yourself what is causing you to feel that way, and how – and can you — fix it? The kicker about going through your partner’s phone; it will not solve anything that is actually wrong in your relationship.
Going through your partner’s phone is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your reason for going through your partner’s phone is to find something wrong, because that is what you are looking for, and that is what you will find. Ultimately going through your partner’s phone is a sign that communication is failing in your relationship. What are you solving by not confronting the communication issue? Being unsure about something in a healthy relationship is reason for a conversation, not a reason for breaking and entering.
The desire to go through your partner’s phone isn’t all negative. It means you care about the relationship. You want to know if you are making the right investment, but it also shows that there are communication gaps and concerns about trust. A healthy way to address this feeling is to ask questions, and bring up topics that worry you. If you still feel like going through your partner’s phone, then you haven’t asked the right questions, or there’s something bigger that has affected the trust you have in your relationship and in yourself.
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