By Rosio Salas
I remember the day I saw him for the first time, it’s just a faded memory though.
I remember not feeling a brother’s love, not wanting to look up to him.
I remember thinking I had it all, only to find out a part of me was a mystery.
I remember being pushed away by him. I was a 10-year-old trying to love a man behind bars. Trying to make him care for a little girl he met through a glass window.
I remember the embarrassment I felt, the rush of nervousness when I was asked about you, when everyone else knew you and I didn’t.
I remember crying in silence for someone I didn’t know.
I remember the phone calls. I’m sure you do too, the ones that were never for me.
I remember the early mornings and the never-ending road, the same one we took every weekend to go see you.
I remember the choked back tears and the hugs Mom always had when we left the prison.
I remember the loneliness I felt every time the phone went around and skipped me.
I remember your ego and your big bald head, your blue jumpsuit and your tattoos.
I remember clearly your scary attitude.
I remember having to act like nothing bothered me because in my house it’s never okay to cry.
I remember being 16 and finally seeking help. I wanted nothing more than to sit and tell someone what I felt.
I still remember everything you put me through, do you?
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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Talk to you soon.
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Stock photo ID:505491324