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Paternity leave is a big problem for many men who want to be there for their spouse and family in the stressful yet joyful time of bringing a new baby home, whether it be biological or adopted. One of the many reasons that this time is stressful is because the father must make the decision to either stay home from work with the family or go to work to earn money for their family. Wikipedia describes the labor law related:
The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) is a United States labor law requiring covered employers to provide employees with job-protected and unpaid leave for qualified medical and family reasons. These include pregnancy, adoption, foster care placement of a child, personal or family illness, or family military leave.[1] The FMLA is administered by the Wage and Hour Division of the United States Department of Labor.
This FMLA is unlike Sweden, who gives 480 days—about 60 weeks—of paid leave to be shared by both the mother and father. The father is meant to take 60 days, about 8.5 weeks of this 480 days. This leave does not have to be taken all at once but instead is meant to be used until the child is eight years old (Killian). In Sweden, the rate of divorce is 30% higher for fathers who do not take the paternity leave that they are given by the government, but their chances of having another child goes up by 15% if they do take their paternity leave (Sniegon).
I think that Sweden is a little extreme for paternity leave while the United States does not do enough for paternity leave. The compromise that I propose is to make the United States have 16 weeks of leave total and have 8 weeks paid and 8 weeks unpaid.
The policies on paternity leave also bring up the stereotypes that come about with parenting
Some of the major stereotypes are:
(1) Fathers are supposed to work while the mothers stay at home with the child.
This is a very sexist stereotype because there have been many more stay at home fathers than in recent years. Some mothers may want to work so that they can have more equality with their male counterparts.
(2) Fathers are supposed to be the one who disciplines the children.
The stereotype about disciplinary action and who should be the one who punishes the children. Growing up my stepmother always told me, “Wait until your father gets home!” this was mostly what happened unless the rare occasion when she disciplined me. This stereotype is a common reality in most cases unless the child happened to have a mother like my mother who was a single mom, so she had to take on the role of mother and father which means she had to discipline and comfort me and my sister.
(3) Mothers are the only ones who are being stressed during this time.
Yes, mothers are the ones who must push the baby out and sometimes the baby rips open the mother on the way out. Even though mothers are the ones that stay at home with the child and yes that takes a toll on the body, fathers who are working must go to work most the time a working from early in the morning till late in the afternoon or night then come home and wake up probably multiple times a night with the baby then wake up again and go to work.
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The paternity leave in the United States is a reasonable amount of time at 12 weeks of leave. The only real problem with it is that it is unpaid leave. Yes, you can have 12 weeks to care for the new addition to your family, but you will not get paid for it.
The FMLA ensures that parents get leave but only if they meet three criteria:
- The employee must have worked at the company for more than one year
- They must have worked more than 1250 hours in the past 12 months
- The employer must have more than 50 workers.
If even one of the criteria is not met, then the parent will be denied leave for their time with the new child.
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There seems to be this stereotype that fathers must be the ones who work to support their family financially instead of being at home with their new child. My father is the type of man who, when I turned 16 and got a job, it was my responsibility to pay for everything I needed. I think that this is his way to prepare me for the day I will have to support my family.
In my case, much like many others, it will be difficult to make one parent stay at home with the baby and make the other one work because I am gay and that would mean the child will have two fathers. In the case of gay couples, which father is supposed to provide for the family and which father is supposed to take on the “mother” role? I believe that it would be best for one man to take leave and then once his leave is over the other man could take his leave. I believe it should be like this with heterosexual couples as well because fathers should have just as much of a right to bond with their child as the mothers do. This time is not just about getting off work because you had a child, it is about being able to celebrate the life you created and bonding with your new child and the other parent.
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In Sweden the policy on parental leave is that the parents both mother and father get 480 days of paid leave to split, the mother is meant to take 420 days of the 480 days and the father is meant to take 60 days of the 480 days. These 60 days are meant to be used up until the child is 8 years old whether it be for doctor appointments, sporting events, school events, and any other reason that a father would need to take off work to tend to his child. The policy that Sweden has adopted is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum compared to the policy that the United States has. In Sweden, men who take their leave have a higher chance of having another kid, and if they do not take their leave then their rate of divorce goes up higher. It makes sense that if a father can take paid leave then he should that way he can help his wife or husband with their new child. Sweden’s policy is a much more advanced and developed than the policy that the United States.
The compromise that I propose is that both mothers and fathers should get 8 weeks paid leave and 8 weeks unpaid leave this will give the baby a total of four months of leave for the parents combined. This is not as long as Sweden’s policy which is taken to the extreme in a good way, it is also not as extreme as the United States policy which is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum as the policy Sweden has. The policy that I propose is a good compromise in my opinion it gives not only fathers but also mothers 16 weeks of leave total 8 weeks paid and 8 weeks unpaid. Parents have such a profound impact on how their child grows up that they need to be there for their children.
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Works Cited
- Killian, Erin. “Parental Leave: The Swedes Are The Most Generous.” NPR, NPR, 8 Aug. 2011, www.npr.org/sections/babyproject/2011/08/09/139121410/parental-leave-the-swedes-are- the-most-generous.
- Sniego&nbreve;, Tomá&sbreve. “Fathers on Paternity Leave.” New Presence: The Prague Journal of Central European Affairs, vol. 6, no. 4, Winter2004, pp. 40-41. EBSCOhost, nsula.idm.oclc.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=15 502055&site=ehost-live&scope=site.
- “Why the State Is Pushing Dads to Step up and Stay Home.” Maclean’s, no. 4, Apr. 2018, p. 4. EBSCOhost, nsula.idm.oclc.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=bth&AN=12 8330945&site=ehost-live&scope=site.
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