Five Part Strategy for Removing a Narcissistic Boss

While this is a strategy I have seen succeed a couple of times, it’s not foolproof by any means and comes with big risk. It’s pretty much a last-ditch effort when you have tried everything else. (And sorry, but for those of you in academic settings and other organizations where there is any sort of guarantee of continued employment, this most likely isn’t going to work.) Here are a couple of things to consider before you even start down this path:

ONE: While allies can be helpful, it’s also crucial to be very very careful who you involve and trust. Toxic bosses are often incredibly astute at impression management, particularly with people they feel can help them. And by all means, do NOT let the toxic person know what you are planning.

TWO: Have a back-up plan for yourself. Know that this strategy might simply backfire no matter how careful you are and how much data you gather. It’s important to know what you will do if this happens.

Ok, that having been said, here is the five-part strategy:

PART ONE: Be sure you know your company’s policies and your state or country’s employment laws. If situation is serious enough, talk to an employment lawyer to get advice before doing anything. Be sure you are as informed as you can possibly be about rules, laws and your rights.

PART TWO: Gather evidence and document, document, document. Write things down, but even better, get stuff in THEIR words (emails, texts, recorded conversations if legal in your state/country). If at all possible, see if you can get witnesses of their behavior, but note that this may be difficult because of the toxic person’s impression management capability.

PART THREE: If possible, don’t make it about yourself. If you are a manager, focus on impact on the team and get them to document as well (but as always, be careful who you involve). The more you keep it off yourself (as justified as this may be), the less you can be accused of having “issues” or a personal vendetta. It’s also important to focus more on data than how you or others feel.

PART FOUR: Wait until you have enough evidence that it is impossible to refute. This will most likely take a fair amount of patience and persistence. Again, do not let the narcissist (or most others) know what you are doing. And note that you may only have one chance, so you need to be sure that your case is as watertight as possible.

PART FIVE: Go above the toxic person to their boss (obviously this only works if they have a boss). Be clear on their impact and that you and/or the team can no longer work for this person, period. Of course this is a highly risky move, so again, you want to have a backup plan in place if it all goes south.

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This post was previously published on But Now I Know Your Name and is republished on Medium.

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