Beauty
What I find really compelling about women is their ability to express beauty in ways that are unimaginable to men. Contrary to popular opinion, this does not always mean physical beauty. It is the spark within.
When I was with my first girlfriend in high school, I was hopelessly enamoured by her but I could never point to anything specific about her that made me so attracted to her. It was the little things that her beauty resided in— the texture of her skin, the fragrance of her hair, the effervescence of her smile, the joy of her laughter, the ecstasy of her touch. However, she probably must have spent quite a bit of time and energy to be beautiful.
I love when beauty in a woman, in whatever form, is expressed, enhanced, and let shine.
Femininity
This is what makes a woman different from a man.
For me, I am attracted to women who are capable of playing their gender roles effectively.
They are comfortable with their sexuality and in turn make men feel comfortable around them.
Whenever I come around a woman who is feminine I can let my guard down and express myself with complete honesty. It feels like we are complimenting each other perfectly.
Everyone is different, of course. Some men may be attracted to different aspects of femininity or may be attracted to femininity for different reasons — or not at all.
Sometimes men are attracted to femininity because they find it attractive in a physical sense, while others may be attracted to it because they appreciate the traits and qualities that are generally associated with femininity, such as kindness, compassion, and nurturing. It is also possible that men may be attracted to femininity because it is different from masculinity and therefore provides a contrast or balance.
Playfulness
This is the willingness in a woman to not take herself too seriously.
In my experience, being creative and playful is something that comes to women much more naturally than men. This may be because men are more guarded and less emotional.
Don’t believe me? Ever seen two women talk to each other? It seems that they are having the time of their lives. Everything is fast and flowy and there are literally no breaks in their conversation!
Women often seem to be wired to have fun — to banter, make jokes, and draw out conversations from the thin air that turn into hour long sessions of emotional therapy.
It is simply what they do.
Intelligence
Women who are feminine and playful already possess a highly-developed social intelligence. They know how to manoeuver social situations to their advantage.
Add to this an understanding of a complex discipline like psychology or philosophy.
Or an awareness of politics and world-issues.
Or proficiency in a skill like woodwork or Jiu-Jitsu.
You have the recipe for a highly admired women.
Men spend their whole lives acquiring wisdom and being of value. Stumbling upon an intelligent woman who can relate to their struggles and stimulate them intellectually and in other ways besides sex can be very addictive.
It is sure to get you wifed ASAP.
Love
I would be amiss if I did not say that the only thing that’s still keeping this planet spinning is the love of a good woman.
John Mayer astutely notes this phenomenon in his song ‘Daughters’:
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too…
Think of the mere presence of a woman adding color to a man’s life.
Think of the unconditional love of a mother.
Women have that spiritual energy that we can dare to call love. German sociologist Georg Simmel says: the capacity of a woman to surrender herself is such a profound, total, and exhaustive expression of her being that it can never be attained by a man in this way.
I believe that a large part of today’s crisis with gender is the movement to remove love out of the equation for women. Who needs love when you can have well-paying jobs, material comforts, and successful lives?
Stripping women of their strongest asset is doing a great disservice to them.
To be a woman is to love. To love is to understand. If what men want from women can be summed up in one word it is understanding.
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About the author
Abdullah Shaikh is a PhD candidate in English at the University of Rochester.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Antonino Visalli on Unsplash
