Steve Locke, with a passionate rant about guys who “can’t come out.”
It’s my experience that a guy will say anything to get laid. I include myself in that. But these people go far beyond the art of seduction. This is about perpetuating a self-hating ethos, and gay men need to stop playing into it.
Paul Babeu, George Rekers, Troy King, Richard Curtis and the beat goes on. These men aren’t worthy of being called gay. They’re cowards. I’m tired of hearing about people who “can’t come out.” No one ever said it was easy being gay. There are lots of people like myself who could never pass for being straight and moreover, we never wanted to. We got the shit beaten out of us. We fought back. We marched. We got in people’s faces. We fought for our jobs and our rights. We advocated when we started to die from a plague and with the help of the many lesbians who went into the healing professions, a lot of us survived to today. So don’t tell me about how hard it is to come out. And don’t call these men gay. They aren’t gay. They are liars and cowards. They haven’t earned the right to be called gay.
The thing that makes sick bastards like this come–the thing that really gets them off–is the knowledge that they are doing something dirty. It’s so much hotter for them if it’s a secret. So that’s what sex with men is to them, a dirty little secret. That’s not what gay people are and that’s not what we deserve from someone who says that they love you, but they won’t be seen in public with you. Or worse yet, someone that will sleep with you on Sunday night and then advocate for the removal of your rights and humanity on Monday morning.
In addition, men like Babeu think that they are better than other gay people. They aren’t really gay. They aren’t like the homos that they see on TV or make jokes about. They “wear the uniform.” They are real men, not faggots. They are “straight acting,” not flamboyant or queeny. The existence of the effete and very heterosexual Tony Randall destroys this notion. It’s homophobic self-hatred that fuels a hyper macho ideal of the masculine and hatred of all things remotely feminine. That kind of macho posturing isn’t hot and it isn’t sexy. It’s sad and untrue.
If it’s a uniform thing, there are plenty of gay members of the armed services (thank you Mr. President) and believe me, you’ll never feel safer than when you fall asleep in the arms of an out and proud United States Marine.
So it’s past time to stop fucking these guys. And don’t believe the crap they tell you. They hate you almost as much as they hate themselves, and they’ll discard you like a used condom when they are done with you.
It’s truly sickmaking to see Babeu with John McCain in a video to “build the danged fence.” Babeu was in a relationship with an illegal Mexican immigrant and is advocating building a fence to keep out illegals. How does he square that with the man he has waiting for him at home? (He threatened his ex with deportation when the story began to break.)
At one point he says to the Senator, “you’re one of us.”
By “one of us” does he mean one of the closeted who loves sex with Mexican men he can threaten with deportation?
This article makes a few assumption: #1) love is involved; and #2) we (should) think less of ourselves if we have sex with these type of men. On the first issue, I can’t comment since I cannot love someone who doesn’t love himself. On the second, in the absence of the first, I say hell no I will not! I for one love to screw the living hell out of these kinds of men, unleashing their pent up desires, help them wallow in their lust and leave them a panting mess on the floor aching for me until – oh,… Read more »
Brilliantly said! Who is worse – the Republican homophobe or the worm who knowingly betrays his brothers and beds the goon? Now of course the ‘phobe will always find some way to sex it up (Manhunt?). But if we were to shine the spotlight on the men who DO sleep with him what do we find? Is the Mexican guy who sleeps with an anti-immigrant despot not just as hypocritical?
Having been dumped by a guy when I became an inconvenience, when he had to choose between telling his family or keeping his commitment to me taught me a valuable lesson. If he’s not out he’s a coward, and that’s not sexy. If he dosn’t think he deserves to be open about who he is, if he deny’s himself that right he will have no problem denying you those rights too and he can justify it. This sad dude who threatened his BF with deportation is an extreme example of the lengths people will go to to stay in the… Read more »
Until a man or woman can be discovered by the public to be gay and not be required to have to make statements to the media clarifying their circumstances, gay rights have not come far enough. Until a man or woman can be gay without feeling an obligation to discuss their love life up front, gay rights have not come far enough. While men and women are still being castigated by other gays for being able to “pass” for straight, gay rights have not come far enough. While men and women continue to be condemned by progressives and liberals for… Read more »
Oh for crying out loud. Paul Babeu, and the others, aren’t being condemned for being conservative. Steve’s calling them out on their support for anti-gay legislation and candidates. Babeu could have been in the closet all he wanted…but that changes the moment he joined the Romney campaign, and the moment he started supporting laws that would have kicked his own lover out of the country. That is not okay.
Thanks Heather. Your comments are spot on. I appreciate them.
Thank you for writing this article. It’s the first time I’ve heard someone talk about this from this particular angle.
You’re right about his support of Romney being problematic, but not everyone is a single issue voter. He may feel too strongly about other issues. That’s his right. According to what I’ve read, his lover is on a 10 year multi-entry tourist visa and he’s legal in this country. So, Babeu’s support for tough immigration laws are not an issue here, whether I agree with them or not. (Although, the possibility that he was using the power of his office to deport or blackmail a legal alien would be an issue … for the district attorney, if proof is available)… Read more »
Alright I’m going to try to take my sarcasm/annoyed level down a notch, as much as I really don’t want to. So here it goes: Babeu did not need to make some sort of public announcement about his sexuality. He does not need to act “gay enough,” or something. Steve’s article is not condemning Babeu (or the others) for not fitting a stereotype. When Steve says they “wear the uniform,” he’s talking about actively making sure you don’t appear to be gay. My personal appearance, for example, is something of a mix between feminine and masculine…I’ve gone more masculine (like… Read more »
I’ll just add, I do not envy Log Cabin Republicans. Unfortunately in the US, social and economic conservative issues have been mixed together. The religious right does have quite a bit of influence over the Republican party, which can make it difficult to pick sides (even if you’re not talking about LGBT issues). So what do you do if you’re a fiscally conservative gay man? What do you do if you’re a Christian lesbian? Against soft immigration laws and a transman? Or a supporter of traditional values and bi? And I would say all of those other issues are about… Read more »
Okay. Heather. I hear you. The important issue is whether or not Babeu supports a candidate who opposes equal rights. And you are right. There are some issues that you have take a stand on. The absolutely unimportant issue is whether or not Babeu appears gay enough for the writer, which because of the way the article is written, gets conflated in the argument. In point of fact, none of us has any idea whether Babeu is a poser trying to “pass” or if he is being himself…it’s like being told that you’re acting too white because someone else who… Read more »
If this article was an unemotional essay, then yes I’d agree with you there…but it’s a “passionate rant,” as the byline says. The point isn’t to make a rational argument with supporting facts….it’s to express the emotion and anger felt when hearing about how there are men out there sleeping with people like Babeu (and others). Also, it uses Babeu as an example, but it’s also calling out all the other anti-LGBT legislators and supporters out there who have a “dirty little secret.” These are people who are in sham marriages, who deny their same-sex lovers for as long as… Read more »
Okay, Heather. You’re right again. It’s a rant not a rational argument. Nice talking to you. peace.
I wasn’t trying to shut you down, sorry if that’s how it sounded. I was just trying to explain what I thought the author was trying to do, is all.
I couldn’t tell if you’re comment here is sarcastic or serious.
I didn’t call this a rant when I wrote it. That term belongs to the site’s editor. I actually think my reasoning is very clear. My point is that Republican homophobes who have sex with men and then actively or passively try to eliminate or undermine the rights of gay and lesbian people are liars and cowards and that gay people should not have sexual relationships with them. I also submit that these homophobes have not earned the right to be considered gay because of this damaging behavior. I then go on to explain what I think is the reason… Read more »
“If you think the crux of my argument is that Republican homophobes don’t look or act gay enough, I don’t really know what to tell you.” I think the way the article is written…it could be difficult to see exactly what you’re trying to say with regards to how internalized self-hatred and homophobia is expressed outwardly, unless you’re already familiar with queer theory. And sorry for misrepresenting your article as being from an emotional place. It just read like a bit of a rant to me (due in part to the byline). I think your reasoning is clear, but I… Read more »
I hear you Heather. I know you aren’t critical of the content. I think the part about the way fear of the feminine is at the core of male homophobia addresses that but there is a lot of queer and feminist discourse that I don’t go into here.
I also don’t mind that the piece comes from an emotional place. It does. I feel that good writing has both. That’s my aspiration.
I think its a great piece without that explicit discourse, but I’d love to see more of that too. I appreciate you bringing the piece here.
“I also don’t mind that the piece comes from an emotional place. It does. I feel that good writing has both.”
So very very true. 🙂
The common tactic of a “conservative” is to try to play criticism as ad hominem attacks, like the commenter above. your rant wasn’t an attack on “gay republicans” but a plea to your own out-gay, and yes liberal (hey, why are most gays liberals? I wonder. I know it sucks to be the minority of the minority, but please.) brethren to tell these “straight acting” closet cases no thanks to the sexing. How straight acting are you in bed?, ’cause yawn.
If you are curious about what I’m like in bed, M. Bergeron, have the stones to ask me out. And you won’t be acting straight or yawning, that’s for damn sure.
Very well said. Clear, concise and well written. Good job.
As always, Steve calls it as it is – without cultural baggage, or ideological baggage – just straight up common sense. This is why I love him. And I’m straight. But I still love him. And I’m posting it here for all to see.
http://topconservativeblogs.com/2012/02/18/gay-hating-progressives-out-congressional-candidate-sheriff-paul-babeu/
What the what? Gay-hating liberals? I’d just like to add that I’m personally tired of this aspect of the whole debate too. Being made to feel guilty for ‘outing’ some gay-hating Republican and thus ruining his career. You know what, if we were equal…he could be out and still have a career as a Republican. And we would be closer to being equal if a$$holes like him weren’t advocating against our rights.
Nice piece! Spot on Steve.
Thanks, Jim.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I have real sympathy for anyone who feels the need to be closeted…but that goes right out the door the moment they start advocating against LGBT rights.
Agreed.
Gay “people?” Try gay “MEN.” Let’s be specific here mmkay?
It is the Good Men Project. I am addressing men so I factored that audience into my comments. I take your point, though. These stories and my response are about men. I in no way am construing that gay people are only men, or that women cannot be gay people.
Ha, you think there are no gay Republicans?
*Or* they’re not *real* gays unless they believe the same as you…
psst!… your intolerance is showing…
There are plenty of gay republicans. My essay is not about them. It’s about Republican homophobes.
I also find it interesting that I have to be tolerant of others when they tell me I’m not human. I don’t have to be tolerant of anyone who is standing on my neck. What I have to do is get their foot off my neck and make certain they never do that again to another person. Once that’s all set, we can chat about tolerance.
Amen!
Amen indeed!
THAT’S RIGHT QUEEN WERQQ!!!!!!!!!
Gay men should simply institute a ‘relationship strike’ of refusing to date any Republican legislators. Talk about sleeping with the REAL enemy….
Ha, Copyleft. Sleeping with the enemy is right!