I was genuinely saddened to see Pete Hegseth recently berating every single general and admiral in the U.S. military as if he were auditioning for the television role of Trump’s Minister of War and Fitness. What disturbed me even more was that not one general apparently felt he could speak back.
It was left to retired generals to issue the necessary rebuttals, those who had earned the right to defend their peers without jeopardizing a career. Under the Trump administration, apparently freedom of speech is a post-retirement benefit.
Hegseth’s concern about trim generals was especially shocking. Trim like who? Custer? Westmoreland? Are we now revising military history to exclude Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf because of his waistline? Was MacArthur’s silhouette sufficiently svelte when he waded ashore in the Philippines? Was Patton’s BMI within acceptable limits?
Watching that video, I was hoping one general would finally stand up and say, “Can it, Pete. You’re talkin’ about Stormin’ Norman now, and we don’t let anyone talk trash about Desert Dad Bod.”
Of course, I understand why no one said a word. Hegseth wasn’t just ranting, he was daring anyone to speak up. Under the Trumpian code of loyalty, any hint of independent thought counts as mutiny. Every general in that room knew that one raised eyebrow could mean an early retirement, or worse, a Truth Social attack.
Frankly, the silence of the generals was chilling to me. What kind of situation has been created when military generals may be concerned about losing their jobs if they speak up to folks in government? We can’t have this lack of communication. This leaves the higher-ups in the executive branch without meaningful and experienced feedback, potentially during a future military crisis.
Their silence was likely prearranged: a dignified collective protest, or at least a quiet refusal to feed the beast. Still, this can’t go on. No American general should have to sit there worrying that defending Schwarzkopf’s honor might cost them their career. So I have a modest proposal: our generals need to unionize.
I am convinced that only unionization can ensure that a general’s military prowess will be valued more than his buns of steel.
As a teacher, I know the power of organized labor. In the Age of Trump, generals need collective bargaining and representation just as much as teachers, truckers and baristas. If they had a union, that whole stage show might never have happened. The union might’ve said, “No contract, no appearance,” and Hegseth would’ve been left scolding a room of empty chairs.
And if the generals did decide to attend, perhaps out of curiosity to see whether Hegseth would surprise everyone with a thoughtful and reflective speech, the union rep could have been there too. When Pete started his sermon about “beardos,” the rep could have stepped forward, cleared his throat, and said, “Mr. Hegseth, a beard can be shaved off in 5 minutes, but petty and unprofessional offensiveness takes a longer fix.”
Some might call this extreme. But given the alternative, our military commanders sitting in awkward silence while a television host lectures them on proper grooming, I say: bring on the union cards. Generals of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your new gym memberships.
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Gage Skidmore on Flickr under CC License
