When it comes to having fun with your kids, they’ve got a few things to teach you.
If you’ll let them.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you have to ensure your kids straighten their laces. We can’t have them pinballing around Aunt Gladys’ house and giving her another case of The Nerves, or doing figure eights around the tables at a get-together. Remember, though, if you’re going to largely insist your kids conform to your world, you need to exhibit some goodwill and enter theirs regularly. So have fun with your kids. Don’t be the drone constantly telling them to straighten up. They’re kids. They’re naturally crooked and zig-zaggy. You’re not going to change that by dictating it, so roll with it.
I have a bit of news on that front: It means you will occasionally look like a doofus.
Kids don’t typically fantasize about dignified things. There are lots of monsters and dinosaurs and spacecraft and aliens. If you’re going to do it, though, by God just do it. Don’t be the lame dad flatly going, “Oh, I’m a dinosaur huh. Roar. Chomp.”
I mean, for crying out loud, you’ve got social permission to make a complete fool of yourself. Why leave that opportunity on the table? If you’re alone at home you’ve really got no excuse, but even if you’re amongst friends, just roll with it. Anybody who looks down their nose at you for turning into a dragon and terrorizing a make believe village in their backyard needs a consult for a stickectomy with their proctologist.
I spent a lot of time with my paternal grandfather growing up. With both of my parents working at locations requiring heavy commutes, Grandpa and Grandma and their farm were a godsend. I can’t even begin to enumerate the lessons I learned there, but one of the big ones was never stated, only understood: The value of lighthearted play.
Sure, I remember a lot of dignified moments…Grandpa wasn’t a goofball, and anyone who beclowned themselves around him were certain not to leave his presence without knowing. But the dignified moments don’t tend to be the warm, tangerine colored memories in my mind. Those are ones like him chasing me down for a tickle attack, or ripping a big fart while we were fishing and blaming me for it, or playing one of his infamous pranks on me.
And I can’t predict the future, but I just imagine the same will hold true for your kids. They’re going to remember the times when you were a bridge between the world in their mind and the world before them, a catalyst helping them bring their imaginations to life. They need you to be an ogre and a wizard and a space commander just as much as they need you to be a protector and provider. Don’t let yourself get too macho to have fun with your kids – to have tea parties or fashion shows or whatever strikes their fancy.
So, as much as you’re physically and otherwise able, have fun with your kids with abandon. Let them show you a world you’ve probably long since closed your eyes to. It’s easy to tell yourself there’s no redeeming value in a particular episode of being a marauding saber tooth tiger for them, but on the whole the exercising of imagination and creation of lasting memories will make the wear on your back, knees and voice well worth the effort.
Life comes at you fast, and maturity will hit your kids soon enough as it is. If you want your kids to be wise, let them regularly make you look stupid.
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Previously Published on theunbotheredfather.com
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