Want to Be Like Tom Brady? It Will Ruin Your Relationships

So…uh…anyone watch that football game this past weekend?
I’m not much of an NFL fan. I don’t have a favorite team. I have plenty of favorite players – usually they’re ex-Crimson Tide players (and there are a lot of them in the NFL. #builtbybama.) But I don’t have a favorite team.
That said, there are players I don’t care for too much. Two of those just happen to play for the New England Patriots.

They’re everything I hate about the “jocks” who used to pick on me in school. Athletic, good looking, and able to pick up any woman they choose with the snap of the fingers.
I mean, Tom Brady lives with his Brazilian Supermodel wife in a 22 thousand square foot house with a freaking moat! A moat! It’s like he’s a feudal Lord or something!
And don’t get me started on Rob Gronkowski! I think someone like him used to bully me in high school. I mean, I know it wasn’t him. But it could’ve been!
Look at him…Gronk! The good-looking party boy…Gronk. The caveman nickname…Gronk. Have you seen some of the ladies in HIS life? I mean, really?!
Alright, it’s not because they’re both handsome, rich, athletic, and popular. Or because they win all the time.
Look, I’m an Alabama Crimson Tide fan. I’m used to being hated for winning all the time. That’s not it.
I think it’s because of what Brady and Gronk represent. They represent a side of me that I don’t like very much. A side of me that tries way too hard to get the cool people to like him.
Here’s an example. And this is with someone I do not have to impress at all.
Emily – one of my coaching teammates and a dear friend – texted me that she thought she saw my doppelganger at a red light.
Keep in mind, it was most certainly not me. I live in Alabama, she in Rhode Island.
My response was “Yup, poor guy.” Then some stupid emoji.
To her credit, she responded back with a warm and loving rebuke. “Stop it! I thought you were in my town for a moment!”
I thought I was being funny. But I stoop to self-deprecation way too quickly.
Granted there are a few people who I still mistakenly feel like I need to impress. Perhaps I feel intellectually inferior to them. But if our connection is based on an act, is this someone I want and need in my life?
My relationship with Emily is based on an authentic connection and mutual understanding. It’s sure not because I impressed her with my wit and charm.
Intelligent, intuitive people can see through flattery and wit. That’s why Eddie Haskell is one of the biggest douches in TV history. Mrs. Cleaver knew he was full of it, but never called him out on it.
But then again, sitcom writing in the 50s was a little tamer than it is now.

Before I go too far down the rabbit hole of the lovely dress Mrs. Cleaver was wearing, here’s my point. The people in your life will love you for you. If you need to flatter them with wit and charm, do they belong in your life?
Are the people in your life there because they want to be? Or are they in your life because they were manipulated to be there with a performance and your wit?
If you’re looking to improve the relationships in your life through honest, vulnerable connection, I’d love to support you.
I’m looking to fill three spots within Team Ryan Coaching in the next couple weeks. Here’s how to get in touch:
• Website: team-ryan.team
• Email: [email protected]
• Twitter: @ryanhallwrites
Again, it’s not who Brady and Gronk are. It’s what they represent. They represent the cool kids who used to pick on me with no regard for anybody else.
But I can’t help but wonder, if I ever had a beer with Tom Brady today, could I be real and authentic with him? My emotional and social intelligence is way higher than it was when I was in school.
Do me a favor: get real. Get real with the people in your life and I guarantee that your relationships will take off.

Photo by Andrew Campbell