Doesn’t take much
I am amazed at how little it takes to totally derail someone today.
An innocent compliment.
An opposing viewpoint.
A choice made by personal values.
Some people can take offense to just about anything they don’t personally believe, support, like, or desire.
Kind of like a child. I remember being like this when I was five.
We have become a nation of drunk monkeys attacking everyone who isn’t trying to hurt them.
Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
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Here’s what I do
When someone is offended by something I wrote, I get lengthy comments that are several paragraphs in length.
The kind that took a lot of time, energy and emotion to write.
Seems exhausting to me.
I see stuff all the time that would get me riled up if I let it.
And yes, sometimes people do and say weird or rude things.
You know what I do?
I let it go and move on with my day.
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Where our power sits
Our power can be easily amplified or diminished. We choose what happens with it. So we must choose wisely.
Our power lies in how we focus and invest our time, energy and attention.
Therefore, I generally don’t give things that bother me the power of my attention, time or energy.
I choose my battles wisely. And if feel that I must respond, I seek to do in a manner that is unshakably classy. Which is way harder than it sounds.
If I can’t respond respectfully it’s best that I let it go.
Investing our power in complaining or self-righteously attacking others by telling them off weakens us. That degree of agitation will exhaust us mentally and the stress will wear us down physically.
And it will attract other low frequency people who will turn and attack the second we lose favor with them.
Remember: People only want to hear THEIR opinion coming out of YOUR mouth.
It’s impossible to make everyone happy by catering to every person’s personal needs and private desires.
Sometimes we have to be ourselves and stand by our own principles, beliefs, and actions even if it means someone will be — gasp — offended by it.
Since humans are not robots with the exact same programming, someone, somewhere, will be offended by how you think, act and live your life.
It’s part of being human. Get comfortable with it. My viewpoint may offend you. Yours may offend me. Maybe we seek to understand each other, maybe we don’t. That’s life.
There is no need to overreact. We all have a right to our own way of life as long as it does not inflict harm on others.
The most powerful thing we can do is to give grace.
Most people are not trying to hurt you or upset you. And the people who are trying to hurt you are the ones you want to get away from fast. Don’t linger to tell them off.
So let it go. Move on. Focus on something else.
Like, learning how to react so you keep your peace of mind. ❤
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Jamie Haughton on Unsplash