In my circle, there are so many men struggle to find the other half of their lives. They’re shy to go talk to that girl, fear or rejection. Or thinking they’re not good enough.
I hope by sharing this, it could help some others have the motivation to go for the girl you want even if it failed — so many times just as any other things in life.
. . .
First you have to get one thing.
You are enough
Photo by Philipp Kämmerer on Unsplash
Yes, you are enough. You need to feel you’re happy even though there’s no girl around you. Whether or not you get that girl, you’re still happy.
Why we need to think in this way, because when you feel you’re not enough, you will try to approach women in a way that you need that woman to be happy.
That’s thing right there will first, put you in the low zone, like the girl is the prize, and you really want to get it, that will make her have a chance to feel privileged over you. Second, it also put a lot of pressure on her, she will not feel relaxed when having you around.
In the past, I used to think in this way. Like I really liked that girl, and when I don’t have her, I really feel sad and worthless. Stop being like this. I will only make her see you like a poor guy, pity boy. And she might want to be around you, but will be like your friend, your sister. That could easily put you into friend zone.
From Pixabay
Feel enough, try to think that you’re life is still wonderful without her. You still go on vacation, still have your passion ( it could be work, sport or anything), still got new friends.. Life must go on, with or without her. Once you think like this, it will make a lot of difference. And when you try to connect with her, you will not come from position of neediness.
. . .
You need to love yourself first
You cannot love anyone or anything if you do not love yourself. Seek within yourself, and see what’s the best things in you. Try to feel you’re awesome.
Only when you love yourself, other people can love you. Because when you love yourself, you truly show that you’re deserved to be loved.
Photo by Ja’Corie Maxwell on Unsplash
Lastly,
Love is a number game
It might sound harsh but it is true, in my opinion.
Why it’s a number game?
Because as other things in life, in order to be good at something, you have to practice… a lot.
Take it as, if you want to be good at programming, you had to practice coding, algorithms and all kinds of things related to computer, technology, tools.
Or if you want to be good at gym, you need to go to the gym and put in the work at least 2–3 times a week for 3 months in consecutive.
Everything needs practicing. Love is not an exception.
Photo by Pop & Zebra on Unsplash
If you want to be good with women, you need to know a lot of women.
Different characteristics, background, environments..
Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
When you know many women, you have options. And options are powerful
A common thing happens to a guy that he only can see one girl. I mean, you go around and when you see a girl you like, you think this is a girl I want. And you put all your focus into that one girl.
This is dangerous because when you put all of you into one girl. She will notice this. And she’ll try to run away. Why? Because it’s really stressful.
When you’re available, you should date as many women as possible?
Photo by Elevate on Unsplash
Because when you only date 1 girl. What if this failed? You will have no options left.
That’s not good because if you only have 1 option, you will become needy.
And the girl will not like the needy guy.
When you’re seeing some women, you have more than 1 options. You’re more confident when seeing them, when you talk to them. Because if this does not work, some other cases might work.
I just want to make sure that I agree that you’re cheating with women. That’s totally wrong. I mean that when you are not in a relationship, you can freely seeing anyone that you want.
. . .
And if you try hard enough, in the end you will get the girl you want.
Photo by Filipe Almeida on Unsplash
Live.
Love.
Now.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author. —
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— Photo credit: Unsplash
