—
We hear more about white supremacy than male supremacy these days, but it’s just as present, it’s just as dangerous, and it’s pretty connected to what we’re talking about when we are talking about white supremacy.
Just as white supremacy is not simply a discussion of the KKK and white nationalists, but also about the “norming” of whiteness in American society, male supremacy is not just about sexual predators and people who think a “woman’s place is in the home” or that she should be “barefoot and pregnant.”
Don’t get me wrong, all those things are horrendous, but they leave a good deal of us “good men” out of the equation when we’re benefiting from the supremacy while, quite possibly, upholding it as well.
Defining Male Supremacy: It’s Not What You Think
First off, what IS male supremacy? Formerly known as sexism and misogyny, male supremacy is the belief that men are entitled to certain things just for being men. There’s an expectation that men will dominate certain fields, that we will be physically stronger, that we will make more money, that we aren’t expected to need comfort or nurturing.
Sissy stuff.
Woman stuff.
We can do without. Without unnecessary “comforts” that are needed by women and children—you know, those “lucky” ones who get on the lifeboats first.
Because of all this sacrificing we do to make life easier and more relaxed for the women and children in our lives, we get very angry that they want our jobs, our spots in education programs & when they expect us to come home and do chores and care for the baby. When they do so, we say that since you want to play with the “big boys” remember that the playing field is level now. “He said, she said” puts us totally on equal footing: “You want to be more open with your sexuality, then there are no more power differentials. You want to make just as much money as we do, then don’t have a baby and expect maternity leave or to be able to get home in time to put your child to bed.”
Male supremacy is saying, “Oh, you want to be equal? Then start doing and sacrificing the way we have done for years. No? You want to change the rules? Make things ‘easier’, more family-friendly and less business oriented? Well, that’s just the proof we needed to show that you are not capable of playing at this level.”
The supremacy in all this is the word “our” (“our” jobs, etc.) and the idea that the norms we, as men, agreed to, begrudgingly or not, are the norms that everyone else must follow—at least if they want to be taken seriously.
We’re Joining With the Wrong People
This is what keeps us men angry at women and feminists, and distracts us from the system and the people who are in charge of upholding that system. We’re throwing our hats in the ring with the wrong people. Those who fully benefit from the system, benefit from keeping us right where we are.
We benefit from this system by buying into the false belief that the system has to be this way. That it works best this way. That there’s no way to change it. And we’ve sacrificed a lot of ourselves to it, so if someone comes along and says, “Uh-uh, this doesn’t work for me.” we think they’re entitled. We resent that they’re not sacrificing as much as we are.
And we turn on them instead of working with them to make the system work better for us all.
Our way out of misery and soul-deadening jobs is not through maintaining the system, but in organizing with everyone who has a stake in the game to change the system. To change it to something more human.
These ideas are happening all around us. They’re in science fiction turned anti-oppressive organizing with Octavia Butler and Adrienne Maree Brown. They’re in the students from the Parkland shooting. They’re in activists and anyone who is pushing back on what continues to bring death in the name of progress and safety (yes, that’s Capitalism).
There are so many other ways to be, but we have to give up our sense of supremacy in order to see them.
Join the #StopSexism FACEBOOK GROUP here.
—
TRENDING POSTS
-
Philosophy Lesson at Walmart
-
7 Ways to Help (and Not Impair) the Grieving After a Tragedy
-
How Being Jewish Makes Me a Better Man
This Is What Tells Me He Loved Me
The Privilege of Civility
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free -
Have We Forgotten Our Mortality?
-
Pussy Politics: Make Sure You Look in the Right Mirror
-
Create Peace From Nothing
-
Learning the Language of Lament
—
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Get the best stories from The Good Men Project delivered straight to your inbox, here.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
—
Photo credit: Pixabay