Finding the perfect one may be difficult, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop looking.
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Listen to me once, and very carefully…Never settle. It sounds simple but I know it’s not. You have to be aggressive in the pursuit of happiness. The trick to absolute happiness is to find what it is you are looking for in life and go after it. Sometimes people are confused, you don’t know what you want with your life or who is right for you or what the fuck to do. Everything gets screwed up because you’re constantly juggling decisions back and forth, second guessing yourself, and feeling as if you are always doing the wrong thing. That can be a very unnerving situation to be in. Unfortunately there is no right way to figure out what it is that will make you happy in life. A lot of times I second guess myself on everything. I try to say that I will live my life with no regrets but it takes a truly unique person to not think about things in the past and wonder “what if”.
What you have to do is lock onto the things that are good in your life and make you happy. And if you’re not sure you have any of those things, go out and find them. This relates to every aspect of life, work, family, and relationships. Life is very short, you can’t spend your days wondering what would have happened if I did this, or what if I don’t go to this party or take this job. All you can do is make decisions as they come. Obviously it’s a difficult thing to do but take your time, think things out, and point yourself in the direction that you think will make you the most happy. You only have one chance to make an impact on this world and you’re never going to do it if you don’t know what you want.
Dating wise it’s very simple, never settle for anything or anyone that doesn’t blow you away. Don’t deal with bullshit that people throw your way. There is a million people out there and odds are there is someone that will make you happy (hopefully). Or maybe there is even two, that’s what I call the hitting the lottery (Kidding). The point is, don’t settle on someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Cuffing season is about to end. Honestly though, I have a problem with people who are stagnant in their relationships and are too afraid to let go and move on. If you’ve been with someone for a few years, yes obviously it will be scary moving on with out them and life won’t be exactly the same. But if you’re in a situation that isn’t making you happy all of the time, it’s time to move on.
You can’t settle for something that isn’t magnificent and you shouldn’t have to. Like I said, life is short, you shouldn’t live your life anything but happy. It may be difficult to move on out of something that you don’t feel is right anymore, but by being honest, upfront, and understanding you can get to the place you want to be in your life easier then you think. There’s no need to stress yourself out over things you can not control. Things happen for a reason and I firmly believe that not only does everything happen for a reason but more often than not you will be better off because of it. Go out, drink to much, laugh too loud, and live life. You never know how long you have so make sure you make the most of it.
By John Picciuto
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Photo: Flickr/Melvin E
I enjoyed reading your ‘Guys, Don’t Settle… ‘ piece on-line via the Good Men Project. One comment I’d like to make has to do with your statements about striving for and being happy in a relationship. For me (because it’s stated in the Bible and I’ve experienced it many, many times in my 65 years on this planet) relationships will encounter conflict because they’re inevitable. The real test for the success of a relationship is how the participants handle the conflict and cope with the consequences. I’m an optimist underneath my pragmatic and reality oriented first layer and strive for… Read more »