We talk to our kids all the time; how many conversations do we have with them?
A Harvard study says one of the best things parents can do for their children is to have frequent conversations: back-and-forth dialogue. The research shares that doing this at an early age helps develop communication, a critical life skill.
In an interview with John Gabrieli, the senior author of the Harvard study, he describes the significance of the study in how it provides first evidence of family conversations being associated with brain development in children.
“It’s almost magical how parental conversation appears to influence the biological growth of the brain.” — John Gabrieli
Previous studies indicated socioeconomic status influencing communication skills and vocabulary development; however, this has been challenged and new research demonstrates it’s “bogus”. The real mechanism to supporting children’s development with language: conversation.
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Let the kids talk.
It can be common for parents to make statements to their children, rather than regularly engage in back and forth dialogue. For example, “it’s time to go” or “great job!” — neither, inviting conversation.
Stepping into the car, we just want a moment to listen to music, but now is not the time.
Car rides provide the perfect opportunity for conversations. Turn down the music (for at least a part of your travels) and tune in to the dialogue. One of my child’s favourite discussions: do you prefer cities or towns and why?
Meal time is another. As parents, our schedules are often packed with activities, so it’s easy for this opportunity to slip as a priority: aim for at least three meals a week, whether that’s dinner or a family breakfast on the weekend.
Family walks also provide the perfect space for conversations. You can turn to environment to foster the conversation. Let your surroundings be your inspiration for questions to facilitate back and forth dialogue.
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Age appropriate questions.
Not sure where to start or what questions might help get with back and forth dialogue? Here are a few to get you started:
Preschool
- What makes you happy?
- If you could be an animal for one day, what animal would you be?
- What is your favourite thing to do? Why do you enjoy it?
- What are you really good at? What do you want to practice and become better at?
- What do you want to be when you grow up?
Elementary
- If you had one superpower, what would it be?
- What would you do if you swapped roles with Mom or Dad?
- If you wrote a book, what would it be about? Who would the characters be?
- If you had a genie that could grant 3 wishes, what would you wish for?
- What did you do to help someone else today?
Middle School
- Would you rather travel back in time or travel into the future? Why?
- If you could meet anyone from history, who would you want to meet? Why?
- When do you feel most proud of who you are?
- If you had to go live on a space station for a month, what three things would you take with you?
- Is there anything you really want to talk about that we haven’t discussed?
High School
- If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? Why?
- If you had to live in another country for a year, which country would it be? Why?
- What do you think college/trade school/university would be like?
- What is your dream vacation?
- Did you have any questions for me?
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Takeaways
Starting at an early age to develop open dialogue with your children not only helps foster a healthy parent-child relationships, it’s critical for the biological growth of their brain and helps them develop critical lifelong skills.
Take existing opportunities to make conversations a priority, setting the stage for this to be a part of your family’s routine.
Leave a comment: What are your favourite conversations with your children? What questions do you ask that engage them the most?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Annie Spratt on Unsplash