Love letters can woo a heart, and maybe bring world peace. Jacqueline Stone shares some examples.
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I grew up on the mean streets of Fairfield County, Connecticut. When people find out where I’m from they immediately draw preconceived notions from popular movies such as The Stepford Wives or The Ice Storm. I’ll admit it, there’s definitely a truth to some of these stereotypes. My hometown is 95.7% Caucasian, has a median income of $100K and is predominantly Christian. It’s the land of the country club and the charitable cause. I think this ad by my alma mater, JWT, paints a pretty accurate picture. New England Gangster indeed. Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, they’ll do it for you.
But for all that I didn’t identify with the “norms” there; hence the reference to where I’m from, not where I live, there is one value that became a part of me. One that I treasure in friends, and dream of finding in a mate – the art of writing a letter.
I laughed as hard as anyone at the ironic (and perhaps iconic) rap video. But the line “If you’re gonna show up, send an R.S.V.P. always!” is not only true, they should have described the ire you’ll cause if you forget to “respectfully decline” the invitation if you don’t intend to show up.
The best line though, has to be “And we’ll send you a thank you note….in cursive.” The tradition of the hand-written note is an old standby in this fascinating culture. There are certain aspects of my childhood that make me recoil with disgust, but there are a few that make me smile. There is something fantastic about this long standing tradition of penning your thoughts onto paper, and I love the tribe of my youth for driving it into my DNA.
Before the internet was granted public access in 1990, our forms of communication included a telephone call, a fax or a hand-written note. You couldn’t email your childhood buddy who moved back to Australia, you had to break out the pencils and the loose-leaf. Your best friend suddenly became your pen-pal. I have boxes of letters I’ve saved (yes, I’m sentimental) of correspondence from friends all over the world. And I have to tell you, getting a letter from your B.F.F.A.E. (Best Friend Forever And Ever) with stickers, blueberry smelling markers and rainbows is much more fun than getting an email with the subject line: “Hi.” (Although I do think the hysterics and complexities of the email are best captured by the talented Virginia Heffernan and Paul Ford in their aptly named discourse: “Just Checking In.”)
Love notes aren’t just for lovers, they come in many forms and add a layer of meaning to any relationship. But the long honored art of the love note seems to be fading away. I’ve written and received many in my time, so in case you need some inspiration, maybe one of these will get you started:
UNCONDITIONAL
“Jackie, Thanks for being my friend! I love you. You’re going to miss me every day. I want you to sleep over at our new house. Stay away from a volcano because it is very hot. I wish you could sleep over more than once. Love, Zev”
BREAKUPS
“But until that wall has been broken down, I have nothing more to say to you. I refuse to share my thoughts and dreams with someone who could absolutely not give a &%*^.”
CONFLICT
“A love so pure that it can stand the test of time cannot be wrought by lust or envy…but yet it can. What is this love? A gift for life? Or a mere awakening to the beauty life can behold? I only pray our love will pass this grievance and bloom into something unimaginable.
LUST
“My gentle angel. Everyday my love for you grows, for behind each look, each action, is the heart of a woman I’m so proud to call my own. Your tender touch is still lingering on every nerve of my body.”
Where is the love letter today? Has it disappeared completely? I can’t remember the last time I got a hand-written note from a romantic interest. When I recently gave one to a man who was courting me (if you can call it that in this day and age) he got un-proportionately frightened. Have the commitment phobes killed the conversation? Even if you were to just take a lover, there seems to be this unspoken code of conduct that is somewhat cold and aloof. Isn’t the magic in the vulnerabilities? I feel like if more of us were open to sharing their inmost thoughts and feelings, more willing to expose their heart in the naked unknown, we’d all be much more connected, loving, fulfilled and happy. Could love letters create world peace? Perhaps.
In my opinion, these sensual matters of the heart are not meant for an electronic record, but can only be spoken in the hand-written word. Viva la romance! Let’s bring it all back. It goes without saying that it needs to be inscribed on the finest stationary, perhaps with a whiff of perfume, and of course, written in cursive.
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Photo: Flickr/Julie Edgley
Additional photo author’s own
Call me a Luddite, but there is nothing better than pen to paper. I love the new electronic Moleskine. It’s a really cool example of old collaborating with new. Maybe it’ll motivate us all to doodle a bit more, break out the pen (or stylus) and write each other some love notes, or to your point, a well-crafted letter.
Dear Ms. Stone:
People do not even write ordinary letters to each other anymore.