Hopeless Romantic Spends $4000 on First Dates With a Woman Who Doesn’t Even Like Him

This has to be satire.

Or at the very least, trolling for the sake of engagement, because for the love of me, my brain can’t wrap around the idea that there are men out there who are willing to spend a month’s worth of salary on someone they barely know, all because they make their heart tingle.

At the same time, there is something about this fella’s $4,000 date story that screams genuine; the way he shares his experience without ever disparaging the girl is telling. So I’m going to do him a solid and take him at his word:

He admitted to being a people pleaser

But make no mistake, the guy above is a simp through and through. And I’m not just being hyperbolic. He admitted to being one in the TikTok video and within the comments section. Here’s what he said word for word:

I know! I’m working on it. I also have a bad habit of using money to curry favor. Old habits die hard, but I’m aware. I try to balance it through being radically honest in my communication of intentions and expectations. — UncSpeaks

A simp is basically a man who will bend over backwards to appease women at the cost of his dignity and self-worth.

1. He got kiss rejected on the first outing. Instead of accepting defeat, he doubled down and chased harder, booking an extravagant dinner and multi-day getaway.
2. He got pressured into drinking even though he didn’t want to. Instead of asserting his boundary, he buckled like a cheap paper straw, not once but twice.
3. He planned the date all around her. At no point did he mention doing anything that he liked.

Above all, he spent four flippin’ four grand, if that’s to be believed.

These are all behaviors indicative of a simp, no offense to the guy. At least he was respectful throughout the whole thing.

Most women would feel uneasy

As much as women say they love men who have a plan and, most importantly, follow through, most would be highly uncomfortable with a stranger spending so much time and effort so soon, unless they are in it purely as a transaction.

And it’s with good reason.

They know that men who love to go all out like that usually do so with an ulterior motive.

Either they are trying to buy her approval, attention, or body using money, or it’s a manipulative tactic, a means to lower her guard to gain control or dependency.

I’m not saying this guy is anything like that, but there is no way for any woman to ascertain that. It’s not as if men are honest about these matters. They will say “no strings attached” while secretly pining for something more.

Furthermore, when he mentioned how special this girl was and that she had a certain je ne sais quoi quality, what was that all about? Because no sooner had he said that did he talk down the first date experience as mediocre. So which is it? If she were that great, then the few dates he went on would have been equally so, right?

This makes me think the only reason he gave it his all was because she was just prettier than the girls he was used to dating. I could be wrong, though I doubt it.

Intentionality matters more than the sum

With that said, I don’t have a problem with spending that kind of money on a first or second date, IF you have it. And I’m using “if” very literally here.

I personally like the 5% rule from expert Fred Harrington from SaveMyCent. He states:

No more than 5% of your monthly disposable income should go toward a first date.

Of course, this 5% should be subtracted from the 30% discretionary spending, based on the tried-and-tested 50–20–30 budgeting rule.

• 50% Living expenses
• 20% savings and investments
• 30% discretionary spending

So our 4000 dollar dude needs to be earning at least $80,000 after taxes, or almost a million yearly.

But even if he was rolling in dough like that, intentionality matters more than the sum.

The “why,” if you will.

Why do you feel the need to spend so much on dates?

Are you doing it because you feel obligated, or is it because you just want to share a wonderful experience with someone you find interesting — an experience you would take part in regardless of the other person?

Spending lavishly only makes sense if your motivations lean toward the latter. Otherwise, you are digging yourself into a hole you don’t need to be in. Trust and believe women will sense the inauthenticity radiating off you, leading to predictable results like those faced by our high-roller date guy.