I want to help you reflect on how the relationships in your life shape you every day.
According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland, “the people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”
Meaning, we are the average of the top 5 people we spend most of our time with. Let’s call them our core people.
The kind of career you pursue will be the average of the core people in your life.
Your income will likely be the average of the core people in your life.
Your love life will likely look like the average to the ones of your core people.
The way you speak to yourself will likely be similar to the way your core people speak to themselves.
The way you prioritize your physical and mental health will be similar to your core people.
The way you express creativity will be influenced by the way your core people do.
And so forth…
I believe this is a scary and liberating fact at the same time.
Scary because you realize how much impact the people in your life have on you and liberating when you realize that you have the power to choose who is in it and who isn’t. 🌟
I want to encourage you to reflect on the 5–8 people you spend most of your time with and ask yourself:
- Who are my 5–8 core people?
- How do they approach their job and finances? How does that align with the way I want to approach these topics?
- How do they approach their relationships (friendships, romantic, family, etc.)? How does that align with the way I want to approach them?
- How do they approach health and fitness? How does that align with the way I want to approach it?
- What kind of values and mindsets do they hold? Do those align with the way I want to approach life?
I fully believe you don’t need to be friends with someone just for the sake of knowing them for a long time. You can of course, if that friendship feels aligned, but you simply don’t have to just because you can’t remember a time when they haven’t been your friend.
I rather believe it is important to have people in your life who are aligned with who you are and where you’re going.
This is not about judging who a good or bad person is, it’s about figuring out who is aligned and supportive of your unique journey. ✨
After answering those questions in your head or in writing, ask yourself, which people’s energy (/impact) do I want less of in my life and whose energy (/impact) do I want more of? Do my core people need to shift?
When I do this exercise in session, my clients often conclude that quite a few of the people they spend most time with are actually not aligned with their goals & desired way of living.
This can be a scary realization to have.
It means we might have to let people go. We have to make space. And right before that space gets filled with more aligned and uplifting relationships, it might feel a little lonely.
But the beautiful thing I see, every time space is created, is that the space is filled up with something much more beautiful, much more aligned than you could have ever imagined.✨
You don’t have to rush the process. But having an awareness of how the people in your life affect you and your life is actually very liberating. It plugs the power back into yourself because you determine who is part of your life and who isn’t.
In the end, it is in your power to live your most empowered and most authentic life. 🦋
Have a beautiful start into the week,
Nora
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Nora Ring — Relationship Empowerment Coaching & Hypnosis
Find your true self, heal past wounds, and attract the relationships you desire.
Follow for more Relationship Empowerment Content. 💘
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Sexto Abismo | Ginebra Surrealista on Unsplash