How Desperate Are You To Be in a Relationship?

I’ve been in both single and taken situations. And I can tell you being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily change your life for the better.

But many people have a hard time believing in that idea because they got the wrong picture of what a relationship looks like.

First of all, you can never be in a healthy relationship if you start it for the wrong reasons.

What’s one of those wrong reasons? Well, To simply think that you can delegate that one task and expect your new partner to be in charge of your happiness.

With how easy it is to find a partner (mostly from the dating apps), most people also tend to overlook the bad habits and are then surprised when they end up in a toxic relationship.

If we can be brutally honest here, they can actually prevent those heartbreaks if only they took a little more time to ask themselves this question.

“Am I mentally and emotionally ready to be in a relationship right now?”

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Why it matters whether you’re ready or not for a relationship

People will tell you that you will never be ready. While this can be applied to your career life, things can be complicated when it comes to dating and relationships in general.

Let’s say you just went through a rough breakup, and even worse, that’s your first long-term relationship. And then your friends tell you that it doesn’t matter whether you’re ready to date again or not — you just need to go out there and be confident.

No, of course, it wouldn’t work out.

You need to heal first — as cliche as it sounds.

You need to be in peace with your past and not blame yourself that it’s your fault your past relationship didn’t work out.

If your ex cheated on you, you need some time to overcome the trust issue.

How do you expect yourself to be fully ready to love someone new if you’re still not over your past relationship?

Nothing ever good comes from rushing into a relationship where you deep down know you aren’t ready.

And there’s nothing wrong with actually spending more time with yourself before you commit to somebody for a lifetime.

One day you’ll miss it.

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Redefine your relationship goal

If you look at your Instagram page, you’ll see one or two Reels of videos of that “perfect” couple.

You don’t know that to be true, but from the looks of it, everything’s just perfect for them.

I once fell for it, too — that I thought a healthy relationship should exactly look like those Instagram couples. They never seem to fight or argue or be sad or hopeless.

And I couldn’t be more wrong.

Most couples who show off how happy they are on social always end up breaking up one or two years later. It always happens.

In their defense, they are no longer on the ‘same page’.

Who knows what their real problems are.

But one thing for sure is that there’s no more reason we should use them as our holy guide to a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Do you know what healthy couples do?

They fight, they get mad at each other, and sometimes they don’t always like each other’s personalities, but whenever they argue, they always know how to communicate their feelings in a healthy way.

So before you decide to commit to someone new, write down what’s your true definition of a healthy relationship. And whether this definition is what you truly believe or you just got the idea from random couples, you met on the internet.

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Why not embrace your singlehood instead?

Too many people focus on looking for the next perfect partner for them. They can’t deal with the loneliness of being alone. It’s killing them.

That’s why for them, it’s always better to be in a situationship than to be fully single.

But let’s not let this kind of mindset get in the way of your journey to find a healthy relationship with the right person.

Being single is the best thing that can happen in your life. You have plenty of time to work on yourself and find things that make you genuinely happy.

There’s no better feeling than being content with who you are and where you are. Because let’s be honest, most people think they’re a broken piece, and unless they find someone who can make them feel whole again, they think being happy is impossible.

Why not just embrace the single status you have? It’s actually not that hard to do. Being with someone who isn’t right for you, that’s a lot harder.

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Hi! Anggun here. I write about all things that you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you feel less alone on your journey. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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