How I Kept My Spouse Happy and Found a Surprising Reward

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It was one of those days where nothing ran to schedule. I hadn’t even eaten lunch until about 4 pm, that was an uninspiring take away. Then I had to pick up my daughter from her afternoon ceramics class, I ended up waiting an extra half an hour for her, by that time I knew that we would get stuck in traffic on our way home. So, by the time I walked into the house it was almost 7 pm, I was tired, hungry, had a headache, and just wanted to relax and rest before helping to get my kids to sleep.

“Ok, I’m glad you’re home. We have to leave in ten minutes,” said my wife as I walked in the door.

“What, where are we going?” I asked.

“Don’t you remember? My parents are taking us out to the school choir recital in town.”

My wife is from South Africa and the choir from her high school had been brought out to Israel to perform at several locations. Tonight, they would be in Jerusalem, the capital. My parents-in-law had bought us all tickets so we could go out and ‘enjoy’ an evening of song.

This event really was at the bottom of my to-do list, and definitely not what I needed right now. My headache was getting worse, and I just wanted to put my feet up and rest for half an hour with a cup of coffee and something to eat.

“You know, I’m just too tired, I’ve got a headache and I haven’t really eaten since breakfast. You go, I’m staying here, I just don’t have the energy,” I said. I was sure this would start an argument, but I just couldn’t leave the house now.

To be honest, I had other things planned for that evening. I had a list of work items that I had to get done over the next few days which seemed far more important to me than attending a choir performance from a school that I have no personal connection to.

“But my parents bought the tickets! So, you’re not going to come with?” My wife turned to our teenage girls, “OK, who wants to come with me? We have an extra ticket.”

But no one wanted to join her.

“OK, I’m off then. Daniel, are you sure you don’t want to come with? This is your last chance! OK, see you later.” With that, she left the house.
There I was, exhausted and hungry and faced with this choice for the evening: should I stay or should I go?

I don’t know why I changed my mind, and what made me make the decision to walk out the front door. When you are young and in love, you do these things ‘just because’ you love each other. However, we have been married for almost 20 years! When you are older and in love, sometimes it is the pull of having done so much for each other, even at times when you haven’t wanted to that gives you that extra push.

From somewhere, I thought, “I will see my father in law, which is normally fun, and I will also make my wife happy if I am there. The worst that will happen is that I can sit and read a book that I just bought on Amazon Kindle or read articles on the internet.”

I quickly ran to the fridge picked up a healthy snack, and ran out the house. She was just getting into the car when I called out and told her to wait, I’m coming with.

After a short drive, we arrived in Jerusalem and found parking. The last time I had been to this part of town was a few days earlier for the Feast of Tabernacles Jerusalem march where thousands of Christians from all over the world celebrate the Jewish festival in October.

We met the family, got our tickets, and went to the entrance. Everything was running late, and worse of all, when we entered the theatre, it became apparent there wasn’t any internet service! My plans were almost in ruins. I might have no choice but to listen to the performance.

Eventually, the first choir started—a local retired men’s choir. They were ok but I was still not enjoying myself. Then the young school choir we had come to hear got on stage. I really wasn’t all that interested but there were a few good singers and they sang songs that were quite meaningful in the context of how South Africa had changed over the years.

After about 30 minutes of songs, the choirmaster took to the stage and introduced a choir I hadn’t been expecting. He told a story of how he had met them walking in Cape Town one day and heard an amazing group of men singing to make some money. He decided to befriend them.

He asked them if he could work with them and teach them some of his songs and then one day, they would join him touring in South Africa and eventually, he promised, to Israel. The group of men came on stage, a group of 9 Black South Africans from a Cape Town township.

When they started to sing, the evening came to life with their musical magic! These men had such wonderful voices, but more than that, they had a very special beat and very quickly developed a rapport with the audience. Everyone was clapping in a way that we hadn’t during the first two performances.

I sat up in my seat, this performance group was really special. The audience was responding to their songs and style, their beat, their music. About a hundred or so Christians from the South African delegation who were special guests were suddenly in full song as well and were now standing and dancing in the rows in front of the stage. Their dancing and their excitement were electrifying. There really was nothing to beat this experience.

Soon there was a break, then some more singing from all the choirs, but this time in groups. The men’s choir with the school choir. The school choir with the South African choir, and finally all the choirs together.

But the South African men’s choir really had made the show and the evening. Afterward, one of the members of the retired men’s choir I spoke to couldn’t praise the South African choir enough, “They are the real deal” he said to me.

We all left incredibly happy to have been able to hear such a wonderful group of singers liven up and excite our lives for a few hours. In the end, I was so pleased that I had chosen to join my wife.

Sometimes—you never know when—finding that extra bit of energy to join your spouse can be rewarding even when you thought you were going to be stuck doing something you really didn’t want to. Let’s try and be open to these occasions.

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