
Despite what the movies show you, many people don’t feel an instant connection on the first date.
Or the second.
Or even the third.
It can take time to really feel the spark, and that’s why it’s worth waiting it out.
I didn’t feel the spark straight away when I met my partner, but now we live together, we’re engaged, and we recently had our 5 year anniversary.
But how long should you wait for something to happen before you give up?
There Is No Timeframe
Some people feel a spark instantly, others don’t.
If you go on every first date with the expectation that you’ll feel a spark, then you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Unless the date goes really badly, why not give it some time?
Consider this: most people are anxious on the first date. I know I was! I kept fiddling with my hands, brushing food around on my plate, and avoiding eye contact.
My partner was the same. He was very quiet and he seemed nervous, which stopped him from opening up and revealing his true self.
Despite what people say, it’s impossible to really know someone just from the first meeting.
It can take a few weeks or months to get to know them. It’s only when someone reveals more about themselves, that you start to feel a connection.
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Sometimes, I think about what would have happened if I’d never taken a chance.
If I walked away after that first date and never saw my partner again because I didn’t feel that “instant spark”.
I’d be missing out on real love.
Forget what the movies tell you. Take a chance.
…
Do you believe in “the spark” or do you think love takes time?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Taisiia Stupak on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
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The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer