How Men Can Influence the Room Like Tom Ford

There’s something magnetic about Tom Ford.

When he speaks, you want to listen. He pulls you in. And you can tell he isn’t trying to charm anybody. He just goes on talking.

Embodying even a third of his influence can open doors in all areas of life. Women. Business. Career.

You’ll walk around capturing and maintaining attention almost on command

Quick win #1: Dress your future

In his makeover videos, Tom asks men where they see themselves when their dreams come true in a few years. Some want to be successful businessmen or win awards for their art.

“Dress like what you wanna be in life,” Tom says. “And it’ll come to you.”

You don’t have to wear a suit. But make sure you nail down three elements: fit, sexuality and pop. Wide jeans which don’t fit are a turn-off. A bright yellow shirt for work won’t do any good. So as the shirt of your favourite soccer team.

Then you mix in some sexuality with a manly jacket or show some skin (with a V-neck shirt, for example). Finally, pepper your outfit with some accoessories to give it an edge. Like a nice watch, a necklace or a ring.

Quick win #2: Groom 24/6

Ford is always clean. I doubt you’ll catch him off-guard without a haircut or a neat beard. He also gives credit to his tidy eyebrows.

His skin is smooth. Groomed people put out a simple message: I love myself and am confident enough to show it.

I trim my beard almost daily and use organic moisturiser 3–4 times weekly. Never skip washing my teeth or floss. The beautiful thing about these little things is they change how you feel.

The message you put out also affects your subconscious.

Shift #3: Being well spoken

Ford can express himself clearly. Speaking well draws other people into you like magic. This requires some practice.

I started writing two years ago, which shifted how I speak. I think and speak better. So writing helps. Doing sales over the phone helps. Picking up girls helps. Public speaking is also perfect for this.

I capitalise on any opportunity to speak. Whether it’s a discussion at work, or with friends and family. I speak freely, careful not to brain fart, and go, “Hmm, Ahhh”.

This skill is by far the biggest turn-on about a guy, in my opinion. So underrated.

Shift #4: Relaxed in your body

Tom doesn’t strike as self-aware to the point of doubting himself. He looks comfortable in his skin.

When I talked to girls in bars twelve years ago, I was a mess. I couldn’t keep it together for two seconds. I was nervous and conscious about every move I made or word I said.

But I got better with time. Now, I can walk up to a group of girls and “lean back”. Sure. I get a bit anxious sometimes, but I don’t let it bother me. I’m relaxed in my body and feel good about the impression I give.

I don’t know any shortcuts to getting into that state, though. No “hacks” or tips. The only way I’m familiar with is taking the plunge and doing the hard work in any area of life.

Approaching that group of girls at the bar. Selling on the phone. Pitching to clients through Zoom. Initiating tough conversations with people in your life.

This kind of activity breaks the limits of your comfort zone. They make you comfortable with the uncomfortable.

This is the power of challenge.

Shift #5: Know your stuff

The content of what you say also impacts people. Ford knows the ins and outs of the fashion industry and can talk about it for days.

I doubt he ever uses slideshows or any of that stuff. Professionals who’re immersed in what they do are ready 24/7.

If you ask me about online advertising, I’ll give you an answer 99.9% of the time. In the other 0.01%, I’ll research and make sure I can answer the next person who asks me about it.

Dive deep into your area of interest. Regardless, you should be familiar with any topic you talk about. And have the necessary skills to get your job done.

Competence is confidence.

Conclusion: love yourself

When someone loves himself- it shows. He dresses well. He takes care of his skin. His teeth. His environment. He invests in his work. Thus, he feels good about himself. He impacts his own feelings before he impacts others around him. Whatever you feel, they feel.

Get my free ebook, “Life Lessons From Getting Rejected By Hundreds Of Women.”

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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