How Men Can Live Life on Easy Mode (Without Struggling to Death)

Your life changes when you remove what kills you.

Not when you try to fix it with new skills or knowledge.

I’ve spent many years doing the latter, and while I made progress, I was always struggling.

It all comes down to dreams vs. stuck patterns

You want a beautiful girlfriend, a wife, you want kids and a thriving business, you want a muscular body. In your mind, all these will happen sometime in the distant future. You dream and hope to manifest them. And since you’re a pragmatic person, you “fix and improve”.

That’s our first instinct — to “fix” our lives — especially as men.

But in the meantime, your daily life probably isn’t always smooth sailing.

Life doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

We experience depression. Mood swings. We have trouble sleeping. Some of us experience anxiety. Our energy drops throughout the day if we eat too much sugar. We get bloated. Fears and worries run in the back of our mind. We get rejected, disappointed, discouraged, agitated and angry. On top of all this fun, stress could eat us alive if we let it.

I think most people live with these emotions, if not all of us.

The only difference is the level of intensity.

Carrying negative feelings is like living with the brakes on

Here’s the kicker.

Every time you push through those experiences, you burn yourself out, even if you’re not aware of it.

It’s subtle. But you slowly kill your energy.

In my opinion, to succeed in life we must ruthlessly remove the negative. There’s no other way. Negative experiences, limiting beliefs, people, food. Only then we can fix and build.

Otherwise, whatever you do is destined to fail.

When I treated my depression, in 2016, suddenly my social life automatically fixed itself. I walked around feeling good and people felt that.

I didn’t have to use “attraction techniques” to get women into my life. I just went out with friends to have fun, and that was enough. Same thing happened in business.

Last year, I was two months away from not being able to pay rent. I used organic client acquisition strategies and they drained the soul out of me. Then I shifted back to advertising (my professional DNA), used paid promotion to build my tutoring business, and stopped struggling.

I didn’t push more.

I didn’t learn new skills.

I just removed what felt wrong.

The biggest challenge is being aware of our stuck patterns

Even when we realize the negative can crush us, we’re too busy running the marathon of life.

I refused to go to therapy because I thought “it’ll pass.” I didn’t know my situation has a name called depression. Similarly, I didn’t realize my friends were a bad influence until three years ago. I knew they were ruining their lives, but I thought I was immune to it.

It took me a while to realize I’m becoming like them. It took me a while to realize I’m becoming the kind of man I resent. I found myself chasing women all week, thirsty for it, jumping up and down to get some. When I paused and reflected on my life, I realized I was banging my head against the wall. I felt irritated. Unsatisfied.

I was always trying to stay positive. I kept working on my business to feel better instead of letting my friends go.

Name of the game is awareness.

Search and destroy

Once you acknowledge the idea of stuck patterns, you’re closer to changing your life.

You’ll become aware of the negative on autopilot.

And you’ll remove whatever’s killing you.

You start from the inside out. If you’re stressed, anxious or even depressed, search for the root problem and heal it. Your emotional health — and life — will drastically improve. From within, from without. Then you fix your diet. No junk food. No refined sugar. Prioritize healthy food and preferably organic and you’ll feel much better. Next you observe your sleep. You should feel rejuvenated when you wake up. A good sleep hygiene is critical for your emotional health.

Then comes fitness….

You see where I’m going with this. The idea is to systematically tackle whatever’s bothering you.

Layer by layer, you keep peeling off the negative.

Conclusion

Life is much easier when you remove resistance. Living with the brakes on slowly kills your energy, even if you’re not aware of it or believe it’s true. Once you remove the negative, you release a lot of free energy. This energy allows you to create, manifest, and love.

Get my free ebook, Life Lessons From Getting Rejected By Hundreds Of Women

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This post was previously published on medium.com.