They WILL come knocking, so decide now how you’ll handle them.
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When I wrote a recent article for The Good Men Project and posted it on Facebook, the critics began to show up! There was much to say about what they thought and basically how out of line I was. I was even called a Nazi in one comment, which hit pretty hard—hard enough to make me delete the post. But after some time, I chose to repost it on the same site and move on.
I find the best way to understand something better is to define it:
Criticism: “The act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing. The act of criticizing someone or something, a remark or comment that expresses disapproval of someone or something. The activity of making careful judgments about the good and bad qualities of books, movies, etc.”
Critic: “One who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique. One who engages often professionally in the analysis, evaluation, or appreciation of works of art or artistic performances. One given to harsh or captious judgment.”
Criticism does not have to be an attack if presented properly; it can have great benefit if it’s truly warranted to begin with.
Criticism does not have to be an attack if presented properly; it can have great benefit if it’s truly warranted to begin with.
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So what did I learn and also now realize? Most criticisms received are not personal, as the critics don’t really know you; but instead, they are about the thought of what you are trying to relay. It does not matter what you do, at some point in your life, the critics will find you unless you live in the woods as a hermit. Even then, they still might find you! But for people like you and I, the dreamers and lovers of life, they will find us. So it’s best we decide early on how we are going to handle them when they come knocking.
Several suggestions:
- Listen first and check yourself for truth in what they are saying.
- Don’t react. Take a breath and think before you respond—IF it even warrants a response.
- Stay clear of emotional responses.
- If you find fault or failure, then be willing to admit and make right.
- Finally, be willing to cast off the care and not let it become part of your life.
Even if what they say is true, it does not mean anything more than what power you give to the situation. So don’t empower the critics, just use them as either stepping stones to learn from on the pathway to success OR as something to cast into the abyss of the past to never be thought of again.
If you yourself have had this same encounter, I would love to hear your thoughts and comments and also how you handled it.
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Photo: Getty
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