How To Avoid Breaking Promises in Relationships

Promises are a big deal in relationships. They give us hope and trust that the other person will follow through on their word, but it can be incredibly frustrating when they don’t.

It’s essential to understand why people break promises in order to avoid damaging your own vows. In this blog post, we will discuss seven excuses for breaking promises and how to prevent them.

“There is no greater fraud than a promise not kept.” — Gaelic Proverb

Part I: The Most Common Excuses

1. Forgetting

In many cases, we forget about our promise because it isn’t significant enough for us to remember. If you have trouble keeping promises, try making them more visual.

For example, use post-it notes or sticky notes so that the reminder is in front of your face every day when you walk into the room where they are posted. If you forget to keep a promise because it’s not essential to you, then apologize and make up for it as soon as possible.

If the mistake can’t be undone, then do your best to make sure that the other person knows that you’re sorry and will try not to let it happen again in the future.

2. Blaming others

When something goes wrong, and we’re unable to follow through with a promise, it’s easy to put the blame on someone or something else. This isn’t fair to the person you’ve made the promise to, and it also doesn’t help in finding a solution to the problem at hand.

This excuse will only work for so long until the person you’ve made the promise to realizes that they’re not getting what they asked for. Be honest with them upfront and explain why you’re unable to follow through on their request.

If this is an excuse that you regularly use, try taking some time for introspection and figure out why you’re constantly placing the blame elsewhere instead of accepting responsibility for your own actions.

3. Not having time

If your schedule is packed with work and other commitments, then it’s natural for you to want an excuse when someone asks you if you’ll do something. However, what happens when the person that invited you is your significant other?

The best way to overcome this obstacle is by being honest about how much time every promise will take up and scheduling a specific slot of time out of each day where they can be completed.

If a special request isn’t going to fit into either one-time or daily slots on your calendar, then try asking them if there are any days of the week that would work better for them rather than making excuses as to why you can’t follow through right away.

4. Not knowing how

This is a valid excuse, but it’s essential to have some plan in place so that the other person knows what they can expect from you.

If you’re not sure how to do something, then tell them upfront and give them an estimate as to when you think you’ll be able to finish the task.

If more time is needed, let them know and develop a new due date together. The last thing either one of you wants is for someone to feel like they’re constantly waiting on a promise that may never come true.

5. Unexpected emergency

If it truly is urgent, then make sure they know how long it will take to get back to you about their request, so there aren’t any misunderstandings regarding due dates or other commitments.

This excuse might seem valid at first, but if you’re making excuses regularly because of emergencies, then consider getting some help from a professional counselor who can teach you better ways to handle situations where people expect results immediately without regard for anything else going on in your life.

If you’re the one that asked someone to do something and they respond with this excuse, then don’t give up on them. Ensure that you know how long it will take for them to get back to you regarding their response to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings moving forward.

6. Giving up

When we see that the other person isn’t following through on their promise, it’s easy to give up on them and walk away. If you find yourself in this situation, stop walking away. The fact is that they are not fulfilling a fundamental part of your relationship; don’t let them off the hook so quickly.

Please make an effort to talk with them about what they can do differently next time. You may still end up having problems later down the road, but at least you’ll have tried to work things out rather than giving up immediately when someone makes a mistake.

If you’re constantly breaking promises, then consider why before making excuses for doing so. There may be some underlying issues within your relationship causing both parties to break promises. If this is the case, then it’s time to get some help from a professional in order to salvage your relationship.

7. Feeling overwhelmed

This is a widespread feeling, and it’s essential, to be honest about it with the person you’ve made the promise to. Let them know that you want to do what they’re asking of you but explain why you feel overwhelmed and ask for their help in order to get over the hump.

If they can’t or won’t help, then consider talking with a professional counselor who may be able to ease some of your burdens and allow you to follow through on the promises you’ve made.

If you’re the one that’s been given this excuse, then try to be understanding of their feelings without making them feel like they have to handle everything on their own. Make sure that you ask for specific details regarding what has overwhelmed them so that you can help take part in getting over it together.

Part II: The Potential Solution

Underpromise & Overdeliver

This is a strategy that can be used in order to make sure that you’re always able to follow through on the promises you’ve made. It entails deliberately underestimating how much time and effort will be needed to complete a task so that there’s very little chance of disappointment or failure.

Although this may seem like an easy solution, it takes practice and patience in order to perfect it. Start off by promising something small and manageable and then gradually increasing the difficulty level as you see more success following through.

This is a good strategy if you’re worried that something unexpected may come up before the task can be completed or if there are other people involved who may have their own agendas on how they’d like to see things finished.

There will always be room for error by creating extra time, even when everything runs smoothly.

However, it’s important to note that this doesn’t mean adding unnecessary padding just because we want to feel more comfortable with our estimates. Be authentic and accurate but remember not to get too caught up in pessimism either since it won’t help anyone out in the end.

The Benefits

According to Forbes, the benefits of underpromising and overdelivering can be seen in both our personal and professional lives. When we’re able to follow through on what we’ve said successfully, it can build trust and strengthen relationships with the people around us.

It’s also a great way to stand out from the competition and show that you’re reliable professionals who consistently deliver on our commitments.

Lastly, it can give us a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when we’re able to go above and beyond what was initially asked for.

“Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” — Hannah Arendt

The Bottom Line

Underpromising and overdelivering can be a very effective strategy if we’re able to put in the effort needed. Although it may seem like less work, this is something that has to be practiced regularly so that we don’t get caught up on how much time things will take us when they really do go smoothly.

The main thing here is not letting our own expectations from ourselves or others cloud our judgment of what’s realistically achievable given the circumstances at hand. This way, both parties are more likely to end up being happy with the results.

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Previously Published on medium

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