I wrote this letter to someone I loved dearly to let them go. It wasn’t easy, actually somewhat painful. But as I wrote the letter, I realized it not only showed how much I loved them, but how much I loved myself.
When we love someone from the purest part of our hearts, we can genuinely allow that person the freedom to be whomever they finally choose to be. Free of fear, free of guilt, free of remorse, and free to love ourselves — just as we are.
The letter below is an edited excerpt of what I wrote to him when he struggled to face where he was in his life and make changes. I realized I was better off being alone than to stay with him when he needed the time to learn, grow, and come into his own.
…I know I have to let you go…
I understand this journey is for you to travel alone. I have been on it before, and it will be one of the most challenging undertakings you’ve ever done if you choose to do it.
Personal development can only occur if you are truly willing to look within, acknowledge what needs to change, then do it.
It’s not really hard to see what needs to change; it’s been staring at you your whole lifetime, as well as being presented to you through the encounters you’ve had.
The hardest part is finally doing something about it to bring a permanent change in your greater self.
It will be painful, arduous, embarrassing, and challenging. And, truth be told, most people give up.
I have no expectations either way of what you will choose. That is for you to decide.
When I went through personal reflection myself, I realized that the most tremendous disservice I could do was lie to myself or blame someone else. I don’t think you will do that.
The hardest thing will be asking yourself why you should change in the first place. You will never know unless you do.
It’s only when you get to the other side of the Veil that you will see for the first time what you were supposed to achieve.
Only then will you know why you had to go through the journey in the first place.
I wish you the best on your Life journey…
I’ve met many special people in my life that have taught me many lessons, and I know I have taught them many, as well.
The hardest part of letting someone go is knowing there won’t be any expectations of them “getting it,” making the necessary changes, and coming back to you.
Once I said my goodbyes, I walked away and sent them my best.
The only thing left to do is pray that the one you love finds the strength to face their fears and become the person they were meant to be.
Fear isn’t an excuse to come to a standstill. It’s the impetus to step up and strike. ~Arthur Ashe
If you want more details on why you shouldn’t continue a relationship with someone who is not ready, read @JordanKozey Powerful Signs It’s Time To Let A Man Go from
The Good Men Project
.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash