An “impossible” challenge
Several years ago, I gave myself an impossible challenge. I was having a rough time getting out of a dark time and I was desperate to try anything.
I was wasting a day away by the pool when an odd idea came to me.
I challenged myself to find 100 things in my life to be grateful for.
I did it successfully and it became a very powerful way for me to shift my energy whenever I feel derailed.
I use this as a “reset” and I swear it works every time.
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Doubt & Resistance
I have shared this challenge with many people over the years. Most people immediately express doubt and resistance to doing it.
I realized that some people may need some ideas to get started. Many people have no idea what to put on a list like this.
And in some cases, they are dealing with a hardship that is severely impacting their life.
Here’s the good news. There is always something beautiful and good in your life just waiting to be acknowledged. You just gotta know where to look for it.
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How I do it
The key is to be specific. Don’t just say you are grateful for your family, dog and your job. That won’t get you to 100.
When you write about your family, friends or yourself, write exactly what traits you value and appreciate. Take it the extra mile and add why.
“I love how Pamela checks in with me when I’m having a rough day; she makes me feel so cared for.”
If it seems like a lot of work, just remember: You can always use it later to create the most touching and best gift ever.
How I write my entries
Don’t just list things off. That’s because we want each one to serve as a powerful statement; almost like an affirmation. I start every entry with one of the following:
“I am SO grateful for…”
“I love…”
“I appreciate…”
“I am so proud that I…”
When you do this, focus entirely on it. You want to let yourself get emotional and feel the love and appreciation. Be effusive and gushy.
Emotion deepens the power of gratitude.
That gushy full-hearted emotion makes your gratitude real, and not just words on paper.
And guess what that does energetically? Like attracts like.
Good emotions attract more good emotions.
Gratitude attracts more things to be grateful for.
You get more of what you put out into the world. The better stuff you put out the better stuff you will get back.
So… what kinds of things might you be grateful for? Here are some ideas to draw from. You may find that you will easily hit #100 before you know it.
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Your Health and Body
- The gift of sight, speech, hearing, smell, taste (and what do you love seeing, hearing, tasting, sensing?)
- Having strong bones, smooth skin, healthy teeth, strong digestion, healthy heart, etc.
- The ability to walk, reproduce, move freely, think clearly, or carry your own child.
- What features do you love? Your hair, your smile, your laugh, your hands, your eyes, your cute butt, etc.
Your Friends
- Their sense of humor (can they always get you in a good mood, raise your spirits?)
- How reliable they are (when did they really come through for you?)
- How fun they are (what makes them so fun? Common interests? Quirky personalities? Adventurous spirits?
- The way they give great advice (when did they help you through a tough time?)
- How they inspire you or motivate you (when did they made a big difference in your life?)
- Thoughtful things they do (remembering your birthday, treating you to coffee, baking your favorite cookies).
- Remembering to invite you or include you for outings and parties.
- Favors they have done for you, gifts they have given you, kind words or meaningful compliments they’ve given you.
- The way they just listen when you need to talk.
- Friends who stood by you during difficult times and hardships.
Your Family
- Did you have enough food growing up?
- Were you raised in a reasonably safe neighborhood?
- Were your basic needs provided for?
- What traits did you love about your mother, father and siblings?
- Did your parents take you on vacations? What special memories do you have from those trips?
- Did they make meals you loved? Take good care of you when you were sick?
- Did they give you special gifts for holidays or birthdays? Maybe something that meant a lot to you at the time? Did you like how they celebrated your birthdays or graduations?
- Did they pass on heirlooms to you? Or give special possessions to you?
- Did they financially support you when they didn’t really have to?
- Did they sacrifice for you? Work two jobs to put food on the table?
- Did they instill values, beliefs or practices that positively affected your life?
- Were they good role models? Were they caring? Honest? Dependable? Did they show you unconditional love?
- Any favorite memories from childhood? What moments still warm your heart today?
Your Own Characteristics
- Consider traits like your sense of humor, intelligence, intuition, dedication, discipline, commitment, persuasiveness, kindness, compassion, etc.
- Are you a helpful person? Do you do volunteer work? Are you a good cheerleader for others?
- Do you have common sense, good judgement, integrity, strong morals/ethics, or unshakable integrity?
- What knowledge or skills are you grateful for having? Are you handy? Creative? Have a great sense of style? Always know the right thing to say?
- Good at handling conflict? Learn things easily? Have a natural talent for sports? An amazing cook or a great writer?
- What values are you most proud of? Who or what ingrained those values in you?
- What parts of your work life are you most proud of? Are you always on time? Excellent with following up? A strategic thinker? Good at planning things? Give stellar customer service? Great at solving problems? Addressing conflict?
- What kinds of things have you accomplished or overcome? A fear of public speaking? Run a 5k? Have you published something? Performed or competed?
- What attributes of yourself are you most proud of? Are you thoughtful? Reliable? Have integrity? Romantic? Creative? Friendly? Extroverted? Witty? A great story teller? Fun at parties?
- What hobbies have contributed to your quality of life? Did you have teachers, trainers or coaches who you learned from or who encouraged you?
School / Education
- Did you have teachers who inspired you?
- Classes that you especially enjoyed?
- Any fond memories of old classmates?
- How did school inspire you or prepare you for life ahead?
- Did you receive financial aid for school? Did your parents pay for your education? Did anyone help you through school? Tutors? Study groups? Counselors?
Life in General
- Do you like the sunshine? The rain? Cold weather? I am grateful every day for warm, bright sunshine!
- Are you grateful for having downtime to relax, watch tv, or hang out with friends?
- Are you grateful for where you live and what you live close to?
- Do you like your home? What parts of your home do you love?
- Are you grateful for having a roof over your head? Do you live in a generally safe neighborhood?
- Do you have reliable transportation? Have a car with air conditioning or a heater that works?
- What conveniences are you grateful for? Microwave ovens? Garage door openers?
Blessings in the unexpected
This should give you some ideas of how to begin looking at your world differently.
Even painful moments in your life may have been gifts that weren’t realized until later in life.
I have found that virtually everything in my life was a blessing in some way — and therefore, something to be grateful for.
Sometimes things served to build new characteristics or abilities in me that were much needed, such as learning how to stand up for myself or be more self-sufficient.
I wish you an amazing journey as you find your way to #100 on your list. And I’d love to hear about your experience doing it. ❤
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Ian Stauffer on Unsplash