How To Make Sure It’s More Than Just a Casual Hookup [Video]

Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)

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you know it’s easier to establish a
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physical connection with someone do you
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have advice on how someone can deepen a
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relationship past a physical connection
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well
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the physical connection
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relates to i suppose chemistry
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but chemistry isn’t the same as deep
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attraction
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and
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there in my programs i teach
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an attraction formula that has
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four parts that create deep attraction
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the first part is chemistry
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which is the part you’re talking about
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that excitement that physical connection
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that
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animal attraction
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the other three parts are perceived
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value
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perceived challenge
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and connection
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perceived value
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is about
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someone’s perception of your value now
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we all have intrinsic value but
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perceived value is super important if
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someone doesn’t perceive us to have
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value they’re not hiring us for their
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company they’re not wanting to
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be with us for a relationship or
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so
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we need ways of creating perceived value
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and we can talk about this but there are
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various there are things you can do on a
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first date that create perceived value
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then there’s perceived challenge which
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is
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not giving all of your value up front
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just because
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you
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can cook a
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a michelin star meal
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it doesn’t mean that you do it for
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anybody who comes to your house right
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you you have to
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you have to allow people to earn
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that value
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in your life and not
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give all of your value simply because
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you really like someone that’s a really
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dangerous thing to do and one of the
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things i’ve said for years is don’t
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invest in someone based on how much you
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like them
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invest in a person person based on how
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much they invest in you
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so if you feel someone investing
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you give more value but what you don’t
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do is give all of your value to someone
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who’s not respecting it the irony is
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that if you give your value to someone
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who’s not respecting it
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there’s no challenge and the pers and
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your perceived value actually drops
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because what someone says is we’ve all
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had that feeling at some point in our
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lives where someone
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wanted to do too much for us
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too quickly whether it’s a romantic
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relationship or a friendship or or
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anything you you it makes us suspicious
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it it makes us wonder what’s going on
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why am i why are you doing so much for
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me you barely know me why
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how can you love me this much how can
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you even like me this much you barely
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know me so
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what we conclude
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is that
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they must in some there must be some
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kind of desperation or some kind of
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strange agenda on their part
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that is
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the fuel behind this it’s not it can’t
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come from a genuine
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connection because we’re not there yet
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so
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perceived challenge is understanding
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that just because you have a lot of
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value to give
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you have to be careful about how you
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give that value and then connection
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is
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the extent to which
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you feel seen by someone and you truly
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see them
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in order to have
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chemistry on a physical level
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no one needs to really understand the
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other person you don’t
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need to be seen
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you just need to think someone’s hot and
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they think you’re hot and you happen to
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have some kind of physical connection in
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that moment but it’s not the same as
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oh i feel truly seen by this person this
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person understands
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who i am
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maybe they understand my journey maybe
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they relate to
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my trauma maybe they
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relate to my world view
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uh i understand their values i respect
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their values i you know it’s all of that
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stuff that makes us feel like oh i have
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a much more deeper maybe even a soulful
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relationship with this person so all
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four of those things have to be present
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for deep attraction and the reason i
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like that model is because a lot of
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people who say
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you know i just there was something
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physical and it was really fun but then
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they just disappeared
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well
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okay there’s also the possibility that
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they’re just not ready for anything real
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but we have to consider the possibility
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that one of those components of deep
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attraction
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weren’t being fulfilled and that’s why
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it didn’t continue
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what’s up guys i just wanted to let you
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know briefly that i have a free guide if
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you haven’t downloaded it yet that’s
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very very powerful it’s called the nine
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texts and it gives you nine specific
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text messages you can use to create
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attraction with someone you’re seeing
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right now or would like to see they’re
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really really easy to use you can even
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make them your own but once you read
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them you’ll understand why they work and
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then you can start applying them go to
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ninetext.com to download that and you
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can be using it in the next 60 seconds
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you

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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