During the 2008 real estate collapse—like many people—Steve Olsher suffered.
But this wasn’t his mistake.
Sure, he had made plenty over the years, and given the chance, he would no doubt do things different. But this particular mistake began with bankers and stockbrokers, and high-level executives many months prior (a decade plus, in the making).
One mistake rumbled into another, and soon the pain exponentially grew, attacking millions of people in its path.
The world shook. The economy collapsed. And within it was Steve, who lost a lot of money, gained a lot of debt, and now had a choice to make.
Of course, this wasn’t his first ride at the rodeo.
When Lightning Strikes Twice!
Around a decade earlier, Steve faced a similar struggle.
After growing Liquor.com into a multi-million-dollar success story, he was set to reap the rewards of the late nineties dot-com boom. But as history tells it, the boom never quite arrived.
What did was a bust, and in the same twist that would occur towards the end of the noughties, Steve lost a lot of money, gained a lot debt, and had some tough choices to make.
When I interviewed Steve for The Successful Mistake, he told me how he had made plenty of mistakes during both of these periods; but also how much of it was out of his hands.
Mistakes happen. Failure occurs. You will face adversity and hardship, and sometimes it will be your fault.
Often, it will not be your fault.
Whether it’s down to an employee, partner, or a banker in some forty-second-floor Wall Street office, the buck ends with you.
When a mistake strikes you or your business, it is yours to own (whether you made the mistake or not).
To Blame or Not To Blame
It’s understandable to get angry, sad, mad, or blame the world for your problems.
When you hurt, you hurt.
When someone hurts you or someone (or something) you love, you want to hurt them back.
But what does this achieve?
Does it make the mistake and problem disappear? Does it allow you to move on? Once the initial dust settles, does it make you feel any better?
In my experience, and after speaking to successful people like Steve, I’ve found the answer to be no.
So if letting your emotions run amok isn’t the answer, what is?
That’s what I have to share with you today, and it all fits in a simple four-step process.
Step #1: Stop
Your gut reaction is to let your emotions take over. You feel mad or sad, get angry or place blame on someone else. You shout and cry, maybe, and you let off a little steam.
Don’t do it. Stop. Take a breath.
Is this hard to do in the moment? Yes.
But you make few good decisions in the heat of anarchy, so if you want to overcome this mistake and not make matters worse… STOP!
Step #2: Reflect
Now you have stopped yourself from losing control, it’s time to take a step back and reflect.
You need to become aware of the situation.
- What’s happened?
- What will happen next?
- How are you feeling?
- How are other people involved feeling?
- What could I do right now to make things better?
- What could I do right now that would make matters worse?
The art of reflection is one of the biggest lessons I learned after interviewing 163 people for The Successful Mistake. I soon realized the majority of big mistakes only become big after poor initial decisions.
A little reflection time fixes this issue.
Breathe…go for a walk…remove yourself from the situation.
Take a few minutes to calm your mind and body.
Step #3: Accept
Blame is an avoidance tactic. It means you can put off making a decision, and pretend the issue doesn’t exist. It does exist.
Remember, whether this mistake is your fault or not, it’s yours to own and yours to fix.
Accept it. Now you have taken time to reflect, you begin to realise what you need to do next. Place your fears and emotions to one side, and accept the situation you are in.
You are a leader. Your duty is to accept this mistake, and come up with a solution.
Don’t hide. Don’t throw a fit. Stop, reflect, and then accept what’s happening.
Step #4: Overcome
Now you have accepted your fate, it’s time to get to work. What this involves is unique to you and each obstacle you face. Time may be on your side, or it may not. You may have to react right now, or you may be able to take a few days to figure out the ‘right’ answer.
Either way, step four focusses on one thing: solution.
Because this is your mistake to own, it’s your solution to own, too. There’s always a solution, although it’s often hard to find if your mind swarms with worry, stress, and panic.
This is why you must first stop. Stopping allows you to reflect, and reflections lets you accept what’s happening. Once you have accepted where you are, you can then hone in on the solution you need to overcome the issue.
This may sound simple. That’s because it is. Doing it when it counts, though… that’s what separates the best from the rest. I learned this after interviewing 163 experts for my book, and I learned how they do it. If you too would like to uncover their secrets too, you may enjoy this guide I’ve created for you.
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Photo by Andrew Robles on Unsplash
Where is the link for the free guide? Great idea for this book. Napoleon Hill would be very jealous of you. I am going to add this book to my library. Thank you very much for writing it.
Where is the link for the free guide? Great idea for this book. Napoleon Hill would be very jealous he did not think to write it. Going to add this book to my library. Thank you very much! [email protected]