How to Survive Valentine's Day When You’re Single

Valentine’s Day is raising its ugly head soon, and if you are single and would prefer not to be, it can be a time of sorrow. Quite frankly, some years it sucks.

We vary in how much we care, but the Valentine’s Day celebration can be heartless and brutal. The only time of the year when your single status is rammed down your throat.

How many of us are actually single? According to the Pew Research Centre, approximately 31% of Americans are single. Only half of those are looking for a relationship. That’s a big chunk of single people.

Leading up to Feb 14, the TV plays incessant adverts for jewelry and flowers. In the shops, we see carefully crafted displays of presents and cards. Each one is reminding us that we are single and can’t join in.

Planned Valentine’s Day spending in the United States was expected to reach approximately 22 billion U.S. dollars in 2021. This is a decrease of nearly six billion dollars from 2020, a year in which romantic expenditures had been at its peak within the measured period. Valentine’s Day is celebrated every year on Feb 14 and is commonly considered the most romantic holiday of the year. — www.statistica.com

Valentines Day arrives, and we have to put up with hearing about everyone else’s plans. At the office, flowers continually arrive for some other lucky person. Some people get multiple deliveries, which is even worse. They are wanted, pursued, and have a choice of suitors.

On Facebook and Instagram, we have to see the pictures again and new ones from the people we don’t work with.

And hear all about the presents, dinners, outings, and engagements that result from one day of commercialism.

It doesn’t help that Valentine’s Day comes after a long parade of other days where we may feel more alone.

After Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year, yet another day to be made to feel like a lonely freak.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Whether you are happy in your single state or would like to find a partner, make your own celebration.

Here is what I learned:

Send emails and texts to your single friends

My single friends and I always sent messages to each other on the morning of Valentine’s Day. We didn’t plan to do it. The tradition arose on its own. Sending and receiving multiple loving messages on the day, is a great mood booster.

We would include something about how we valued the other person’s friendship and what we admired about them.

Waking to warm, loving messages from friends is a great dopamine boost.

Go out with other singles

Sometimes my friends and I would go out for lunch or dinner, especially if Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. We would celebrate being single and all the things we could do because we don’t have to accommodate a partner.

We would celebrate our successes and talk about our plans for the future. The emphasis was on us, how good our lives were, and future challenges. It was empowering and very noisy, especially with a bigger group.

A bit disruptive for the lovey-dovey lovers all around us, but do you know what? A naughty, mean little part of me enjoyed disrupting them.

Alternatively, invite your friends to your place. This way, you avoid the plague of rose sellers trying to convince you that one flower is worth twenty dollars. If it has to be a Zoom or group chat, so be it. The important thing is to have fun.

Buy yourself a present

For Valentine’s Day and Christmas and my Birthday, I always bought myself a present. I reserved all the expensive tech stuff like new computers, phones, and watches for my birthday or Christmas.

For Valentines Day, I’d treat myself to some books that I would normally borrow from the library, some jewelry, or something else that seemed like a treat. For the week leading up to the big day, those things I’d see but usually not buy, I bought. Nail polish, knick-knacks, journals, fancy pens.

If my budget could cope, I treated myself.

Buy a single friend a present

According to the article “Feb 14 Isn’t Just About Couples Anymore” in Entrepreneur.com, people are buying presents for friends, family, and co-workers, not just romantic partners.

More people are buying gifts for their friends than their boyfriends. When people search for “Valentine’s Day Gifts For …” on Bing.com, 22 percent of people fill in “husband,” 20 percent of people type “friend” and 17 percent “boyfriend. — Feb 14 Isn’t Just About Couples Anymore, Entrepreneur

According to the same article people also buy presents for their furry friends. In 2016 a whopping $681 million was spent on gifts for pets.

When my daughter was little, we would go together and buy each other something. I paid, but she picked something out. One year I got a lilac teddy bear that she had her eye on.

If you would like a partner take action

As well as texting your friends, buying yourself a present and going out think about whether it’s time to take action.

If you are single and don’t want to be, Valentine’s is a prime time to get busy and look for a partner. When I was single, around New Year and Valentine’s Day were optimum times to be active online.

People are more motivated to change their status and more willing to send and receive messages around holidays we traditionally spend with a partner.

If you want a partner, think about the sort of person you want and what sort of relationship you would like.

Join an online dating site, get busy but above all, stay safe.

Final thoughts

Relish the many benefits of being single. Non-partnered people do not have to accommodate someone else’s work hours, food choices, hobbies, friends, family, children, pets, music preference, or ideas on home decor.

I found that the key to being happier as a single person was to take charge of events like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and New Year to suit my situation. I planned ahead, and as I am an extroverted social person, I arranged activities and outings.

Have a great Valentine’s Day. You are awesome!

This post previously published on Medium.
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