How To Win Your Ex Back: 21 Little Things You’re Probably Not Doing

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to winning back your ex, but there are definitely some things you can do to improve your chances.

Most people make the mistake of thinking that big gestures are the key to getting back together.

But often it’s the small things that make all the difference. Most people make the same mistakes when trying to get back together with an ex, so by learning what they are and avoiding them, you’ll be ahead of the game.

Here are 21 little things you may not be doing that could make all the difference in getting your relationship back on track.

1. Get in touch with your feelings.

The first step is to get in touch with how you’re feeling. This means taking some time for yourself to reflect on what happened and why the relationship ended. Once you have a clear understanding of why things went wrong, you’ll be in a better position to start fixing them.

2. Stop stalking their social media profiles.

It’s natural to want to know what your ex is up to, but constantly checking their Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds is only going to make you feel worse. Resist the temptation and focus on spending time on activities that make you happy.

3. Reach out to him first.

Don’t wait for your ex to reach out to you — take the initiative and reach out to them. It will show them that you’re serious about fixing things and that you’re ready to put in the effort.

4. Talk about your feelings.

Don’t be afraid to talk about how you’re feeling — both good and bad. Bottling up your emotions is only going to make things worse in the long run. Make sure your conversations are positive and upbeat. Don’t bring up any of the negative stuff from your past.

5. Don’t blame them for everything.

It’s natural to want to blame your ex for everything that went wrong in the relationship, but doing so will only make them defensive and less likely to want to work things out. Try to take some responsibility for your part in the breakup as well.

Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free

6. Don’t badmouth them to your friends.

Telling your friends all the terrible things your ex did is only going to make you look bad in comparison. Plus, it’s sure to get back to your ex and could damage any chances of getting back together.

7. Show them that you’ve changed.

If you want your ex to take you seriously, you need to show them that you’ve changed. You don’t have to become a different person, but there are certain things you can do to demonstrate that you’re serious about fixing things.

Photo by Gama. Films on Unsplash

8. Be understanding and patient.

Getting back together with an ex isn’t going to happen overnight — be understanding and patient while they process what’s going on. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your relationship won’t be rebuilt in one either.

9. Don’t push them into making a decision.

Pushing your ex to make a decision is only going to make them more resistant to getting back together. Let them take things at their own pace and don’t pressure them into doing anything they’re not ready for.

10. Don’t try to control them.

Trying to control your ex is a surefire way to push them away. Let them make their own choices and don’t try to micromanage their life.

11. Be positive.

Being positive is key when trying to rebuild a relationship. If you’re constantly negative and pessimistic, your ex is going to get the impression that things won’t work out.

12. Be understanding of their situation.

Your ex is likely dealing with a lot of emotions right now, so be understanding and patient. Don’t push them or try to rush things.

13. Give them some space.

Your ex may need some time alone. So don’t bombard them with text messages and calls. Send him a few messages here and there to let him know what you are thinking about him. Don’t try to force anything. Just let things happen naturally. Let them come to you when they’re ready.

14. Don’t compare them to your ex.

Comparing your current partner to your ex is only going to make them feel like they can never live up to your standards. Focus on the things that make your current partner unique and special.

Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash

15. Take a break.

If things are too tough right now and you’re not sure if you’re ready to get back together with your ex, take some time for yourself. This can help you figure out what you want and give you some space to heal emotionally.

16. Take care of yourself.

When you’re feeling down, it can be tough to take care of yourself. But if you want to get your ex back, you need to put in the effort.

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically — eat healthily, exercise, and get enough sleep. This will help you feel better emotionally and make you more attractive to your ex.

17. Do some spying.

You may decide to take a more indirect approach by reaching out to his friends and family members to get an idea of what was going on in his head.

You may be able to get some information that he has been thinking about getting back together with you but didn’t know how to go about it. Armed with this information, take the plunge and reach out to him again.

18. Avoid going to places where you know they’ll be.

This might be tough, but avoiding running into your ex will help the situation until you’re both ready to talk. If you see him out and about, don’t panic — just act like everything is normal.

19. Get rid of all reminders of them.

If you have any photos, gifts, or other items that remind you of your ex, get rid of them. It’s only going to make it harder to move on if you’re constantly surrounded by reminders of what you once had.

20. Talk to a therapist or counselor.

Talking to a professional can help you process the break-up and give you some tools to deal with any emotions you’re experiencing. This can be helpful if you want to get back together with your ex.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

21. Don’t give up.

No matter how hard things may seem, don’t give up on getting back together with your ex. If you truly care about them and want to make things work, don’t give up. Keep trying until you succeed.

The Bottom Line

There are a lot of benefits to getting your ex back. For starters, you’re able to repair the damage that was done and rebuild your relationship. You also get to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner, which can lead to a more stable and long-lasting relationship.

You can start to make plans with him and hang out with him on a regular basis. By doing this, you will slowly be rebuilding the connection you had before.

Make sure to always be positive and upbeat around him. Don’t let him think that you are still upset or angry about the breakup.

Getting your ex back isn’t easy but it’s definitely worth the effort. Make sure that you’re genuine in your communication and be prepared to put in the work to make things happen.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***