How Women REALLY Want You To Speak to Them

Are you sick of wasting time on pleasant first dates that lead nowhere?

Are you tired of women saying “nice to meet you” then leaving after a half-hour conversation at the bar?

There’s no shame in admitting this has happened to you.

When talking with women, most guys say the EXACT OPPOSITE of what turns them on.

That’s because mainstream dating advice teaches them the wrong things to say.

Below, we’ll explore how to talk to women in a way that builds sexual tension and makes them excited to spend more time with you.

This is all it takes to have women clamouring for your approval.

So, let’s dive in.

Approach Women At The First Opportunity

Most guys get nervous when they spot a woman they’re attracted to.

In most cases, they plan their opener ahead of time and wait for the ‘best moment’ to make their approach.

But that’s not what women want…

They want men who are bold and courageous enough to approach them straight away.

That’s 100x more attractive than the creep who lurks in the corner staring and waiting to pounce.

So, you need to get in the habit of feeling nervous and doing the scary thing anyway.

If you’re not sure what to say, focus on being honest.

“You look interesting.”

“I want to meet you.”

“Hi, my name is Joe.”

These are all acceptable openers.

In fact, they’re all better than some corny pick-up line that sounds pre-prepared.

Ultimately though, your opening line isn’t nearly as important as the confidence with which you say it. If you believe she’ll respond well, she probably will.

Say What You Want To Say

Photo by Brett Wharton on Unsplash

Please understand that beautiful women get approached by men A LOT — and most men say the same stuff.

They either:

ask boring ‘get to know you’ questions
make generic compliments.

What do you study? Where do you work? What TV shows do you like?

You look beautiful. I like your eyes. That’s a great dress.

These conversation-starters aren’t inherently bad. It’s just she’s heard them a million times before, so you have no way of standing out.

It’s better to tell her about yourself or share whatever opinions are on your mind.

This way, she gets a taste of who you are and whether you’re interesting.

She won’t care about answering your questions or taking your compliments until she knows this.

Playfully Flirt With Her

Photo by Sidral Mundet on Unsplash

One problem with questions and compliments is that they’re rapport-seeking methods.

They’re great for making friends with everyday folk. Terrible for attracting women.

Waiters use them on their customers. Employees do it with their boss. And nice guys try it with women they think are ‘out of their league’.

It’s the most obvious sign that someone feels lesser than another person.

(The only exception to this rule is when one person has an unquestionably higher status. We’re talking about celebrities meeting fans or CEOs meeting their employees. In this case, they might placate that person to make them feel more comfortable in their presence).

When two people feel comfortable and on the same level in a social environment, they usually flirt and tease each other. This is a rapport-breaking method.

Teasing isn’t negging or insulting someone. The goal isn’t to hurt someone’s feelings or to drag down their confidence. It’s to make a playful joke that raises the vibe of everyone involved.

Women LOVE when men tease them. It shows you have a sense of humor. It demonstrates you’re comfortable around them. But, most importantly, it proves that you believe you’re on their level.

This is CRUCIAL for you to attract them. Because women only want men who are on their level or higher. They will never date down.

Find Out If She’s Cool

Photo by Sidral Mundet on Unsplash

Don’t be immediately sold on a woman, no matter how hot she is.

Use your opening conversations to find out if she’s cool, rather than to sell yourself.

Think of five personality traits you’d want your ideal woman to have, then find out if she has them.

“What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done this year?”

“You look like you’re very active and sporty. Is it true?”

“Tell me the dorkiest joke you’ve ever heard.”

These are more engaging questions than what most guys ask her.

More importantly, rather than rapport-seeking, it frames the conversation where she’s the one selling herself to you.

Remember, women only want men who are on their level or higher. They want to have to earn your respect.

If you’re too easy to impress, they’ll assume you’re below them and lose interest.

Don’t Ever Show Your Hurt Feelings

It’s possible you might hurt a woman’s feelings when you tease her. That’s the risk you have to take. The key is not to tease her about anything serious unless it’s obviously not true.

You can recover if you accidentally hurt a woman’s feelings. Just apologise and move the conversation forwards.

However, if she hurts your feelings, it could be game over.

Women want to date men who are stoic and emotionally strong. They find it a huge turn-off if a man gets upset over small things. Sometimes, you’ll notice a woman will be difficult or poke at your insecurities to test your emotional strength. Your job here is to remain unaffected. Let her behavior roll off you like water from a duck’s back.

You can call her out if she does something to annoy you. Just don’t get emotional about it.

As a general rule, all your conversations with a romantic interest should be positive. She wants to have fun with you, not be your therapist.

This can arguably change once you’re in a relationship. But when you are first meeting someone — keep it light.

Photo by Sangria Señorial on Unsplash

Walk The Walk

You can’t just talk the talk.

Your behavior and body language will tell a woman if you’re really a confident leader who’s on the same level as her.

Your words need to be backed up by a strong sense of core confidence. If she senses you’re a fraud, she’ll reject your attempts to trick her.

My book Big Dick Energy features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your natural masculine energy in conversations with women. If you’re a guy who struggles to catch or keep a woman’s attention, this book will really help.

You can learn more about this book by clicking here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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