This is an uncomfortable conversation so I thought Monday night would be great for It. And it’s about suicide. And depression. And maybe it makes no sense. But I guarantee you it makes more sense than the recent “Secret Obsession” movie on Netflix, where the hospital let some guy off the street take home an amnesiac patient without so much as checking his driver’s license.
As Cold Waves gets closer, I know a lot of people new really determined to not let anyone fall through the cracks. Not just the people closest to them, but also the people around them they haven’t had the chance to connect with as much. I haven’t seen much of any conversation about this, but one of the things we have to remember is that a lot of behaviors that really are honest and true calls for help are just, well…
Because that is how they manifest.
The need to push people away, the need to take out anger on people, the need to say something hurtful, the need to explode a friendship, to poke at things, to put someone down while they are standing right there, the ongoing negativity necessary to talk badly about people, to distrust and accuse, to ignore someone else’s suffering or needs, to focus only on yourself, to be humorless or cold or rejecting, clinging, obsessive, dismissive, lying, cheating, hurting, restless, mean, vindictive pain.
We all know that hurt people hurt people. It’s a cute saying. it makes sense. By the time someone’s depression has gotten the better of them or their suicidal ideation has reached full immersion, they may be hurt enough that hurting other people is the only way to say, “please help me.”
I’m not saying we all have to be saints and reach out a hand when all we can think, in the back of our heads, is “Fuck that guy.” But maybe it’s worth remembering that not everyone who really needs a hand is going to be a happy cute smiley puppy, and that the first time they get that hand, they may bite it, even if just out of distrust, or disbelief. And, who knows, they may keep biting.
But something, again, I’ve learned lately, is that, statistically, 80 percent of the U.S. population has some form of periodontal (gum) disease. so, even if they do keep on biting, how much can it hurt, really?
All kidding aside, if you’ve reached out and gotten bitten a few times before someone took that hand, I’m proud to know you.
Good teeth or not.
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