Hyperactive Girl, Labeled a Troublemaker With Olivia Chavez [Video]

By Understood

As a kid, Olivia Chavez got disciplined a lot in school for her “disruptive” behavior. She would often seek out ways to move around and channel her hyperactivity. One incident led to an awkward conversation between her teacher and her mom — and ultimately set Olivia on the path to an ADHD diagnosis.

Olivia also talks about ADHD and depression, and mentions a time when she had thoughts of suicide. This is discussed in a context of hope and strength. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is available today at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

To find a transcript for this episode and more resources, visit the episode page at Understood. https://www.understood.org/podcast/ad…

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit and social impact organization dedicated to shaping a world where the 1 in 5 people who learn and think differently can thrive. Learn more about “ADHD Aha!” and all our podcasts at u.org/podcasts.

Copyright © 2021 Understood for All, Inc. All rights reserved. Understood is not affiliated with any pharmaceutical company.

Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)

0:00
hi everybody it’s laura before you
0:02
listen i want to let you know that my
0:04
guest on this episode olivia shares her
0:06
experience with depression and she
0:08
briefly mentions that at one point she
0:10
considered suicide olivia’s story is one
0:13
of hope and strength it resonated deeply
0:16
with me i hope it will for you too
0:19
i was getting in trouble so often that i
0:22
was starting to isolate these things
0:23
like in tapping my legs or in tapping my
0:26
pen or fidgeting my arms in some way
0:30
and then in order to get up i realized
0:32
that i had to ask my teacher to go to
0:35
the bathroom so i was asking to go to
0:37
the restroom so frequently eventually my
0:40
teacher had to sit down with my mom and
0:42
said is your child sick basically wanted
0:44
to know if there was something wrong
0:45
with me because i so frequently asked to
0:47
go to the bathroom and i told her i’m
0:49
like i just need to get up i just can’t
0:51
sit in class that whole time and she
0:53
realized it might be beneficial if we
0:55
got me tested for adhd and sure enough
0:58
that’s what it was
0:59
[Music]
1:03
from the understood podcast network this
1:05
is adhd aha a podcast where people share
1:08
the moment when it finally clicked that
1:10
they or someone they know has adhd
1:14
my name is laura key i’m the editorial
1:16
director here at understood and as
1:18
someone who’s had my own adhd aha moment
1:21
i’ll be your host
1:27
i’m here today with olivia chavez olivia
1:30
is an actor and singer living in
1:32
california olivia so glad you’re here
1:34
with us today i am very excited to be
1:37
here olivia i would love to start off by
1:40
hearing from you and your own words
1:42
describing what you were like growing up
1:45
if i can put it
1:47
gently
1:48
a lot
1:50
um i’ve always been very hyper very
1:53
quirky and goofy
1:55
which are some of my favorite qualities
1:57
to this day
1:58
but i think that i just had a lot of
2:00
energy and i didn’t quite know what to
2:03
do with it or the adults didn’t quite
2:05
know what to do with it i should say
2:08
as a kid can you remember what the
2:10
hyperactivity like felt like in your
2:13
body if you could describe it
2:15
the hyperactivity really felt like
2:18
i just had to get up and move and it was
2:21
very easy when i was playing outside
2:24
with my sister and we had a group of
2:27
kids in the neighborhood where my
2:28
grandma lived where we would all run
2:30
around so there was no
2:32
issue there
2:33
really where i noticed it was during
2:35
school once i had to be
2:38
disciplined and listening or in church
2:41
as well that was the most difficult
2:43
because i felt like i had to get up and
2:45
move and run around or sometimes it
2:47
would even manifest itself in needing to
2:49
talk just any sort of movement in my
2:52
body and it was really hard to repress
2:54
that
2:55
how did the adults around you react to
2:59
that kind of behavior
3:01
i think
3:02
the way that my family reacted to it was
3:04
very different than the way my
3:07
teachers and authority figures reacted
3:09
to it at home it was
3:11
expected and fine and i just had a lot
3:13
of energy i needed to get out but in
3:16
school i was very much seen as a
3:18
troublesome student that was very early
3:20
on labeled as the troublemaker of the
3:22
class
3:23
it’s interesting that you use the word
3:25
troublemaker because it doesn’t sound
3:27
like you were actually doing anything
3:29
that was causing trouble right it was
3:31
just how you were coping with your
3:33
hyperactivity
3:35
yeah it was hard to navigate because i
3:37
didn’t really
3:38
think what i was doing was wrong i just
3:40
wanted to have friends and be chatty and
3:42
play and i always really looked forward
3:44
to recess but it was often taken away
3:47
from me because i was
3:49
a quote unquote troubled child
3:51
that sounds really painful i mean that
3:53
was a moment during your day when you
3:55
could let out this energy and
3:58
feel more like yourself is that fair to
4:00
say 100
4:02
yes
4:03
how did the
4:05
kids your age react did you have friends
4:07
growing up did you have a lot of friends
4:09
did your behavior impact your
4:10
relationships in any way
4:13
i did not have a lot of friends growing
4:15
up i had
4:17
two
4:17
really good friends and it’s actually
4:20
quite funny because my very best friend
4:22
who i’m still friends with today she
4:24
loves to tell this story
4:26
i had been put in time out for who knows
4:28
what and this was in kindergarten
4:31
and we were in story time
4:34
and she turned back and looked at me and
4:36
i waved at her
4:38
and she knew that i was a bad kid
4:40
because i was in time out so she turned
4:42
around and stuck her tongue out at me
4:45
and a year later we were best friends
4:48
i love that yeah that’s really cute
4:51
she’s my
4:52
absolute best friend
4:54
sounds like she understood you from the
4:55
get-go yes and i think that when we did
4:58
get to go out and play
5:00
her and i had very similar energy levels
5:02
and then there was another girl that she
5:04
was friends with in her neighborhood and
5:05
went to school with us
5:07
she was a great ahead of me but the
5:10
three of us would always play at recess
5:12
all the time we had very
5:14
out there sense of humors and the three
5:16
of us were just inseparable but as far
5:18
as
5:19
being very well liked or popular i
5:22
certainly was not i
5:24
was teased very very much
5:27
were there ever days that you just did
5:29
not want to go to school growing up or
5:31
you just flat out refused even to go to
5:34
school we’re there
5:36
yes 1 000
5:39
more often than you might think i think
5:41
every kid has those days but i just
5:45
with
5:46
the fact that i was being teased
5:49
by everyone the fact that school was
5:52
just so hard for me
5:54
i wasn’t retaining the information nor
5:56
did any of the teachers wish to slow
5:58
down to help me retain that information
6:02
and i just felt like it was a constant
6:05
struggle like i was constantly running
6:07
at a brick wall
6:08
and i didn’t have help nobody wanted to
6:10
help not at school
6:12
at home i had all the help in the world
6:14
but nobody wanted to help at school so
6:16
why would i want to be there i wanted to
6:18
stay home with my mom watch cartoons and
6:23
just not be there so i would lie
6:27
a lot to my mom and say there’s no
6:28
homework and for a while it was easy to
6:31
get away with and then those pink slips
6:33
and blue slips started piling up and
6:36
it all came out eventually
6:38
oh that is so interesting that you bring
6:41
up lying it comes up a lot actually as i
6:44
talk to people about adhd
6:46
it’s really common for kids with adhd
6:49
to lie and it’s not malicious lying
6:52
they are little lies to
6:54
cover up things that are challenging
6:58
yeah can you give me some examples of
6:59
like pretend like you’re telling a lie
7:01
what kinds of things would you say
7:03
oh geez
7:04
it’s been so long now i’m just so
7:07
perfect
7:08
yeah i mean obviously the big one was oh
7:10
there’s no homework today
7:12
oh yeah i read that book for the book
7:14
report oh yeah i’ve been working on that
7:16
book report
7:17
and then really it was down to the day
7:20
before and
7:21
i watched the movie and hoped that the
7:23
themes would align enough for me to
7:25
write a paper i really hated when my mom
7:27
was mad at me that is still to this day
7:31
it’s my least favorite thing in the
7:32
entire world i can’t stand when she’s
7:35
upset with me so
7:37
i
7:38
would make up lies to make sure that she
7:40
didn’t get mad at me so from little tiny
7:43
lies to really big ones i just didn’t
7:45
want her to be mad so yeah you don’t
7:48
want to upset mama i get it no i didn’t
7:50
eat that slice of cheese i swear
7:53
[Music]
8:01
when were you diagnosed with adhd
8:04
between third and fifth grade i can’t
8:06
really pinpoint it
8:07
i do remember at my school they had
8:09
these things called pink slips and blue
8:11
slips and yellow slips
8:13
and a pink slip was just like a warning
8:15
to your parents and then if you got
8:17
three pink slips that turned into a blue
8:19
slip which is detention or sometimes if
8:21
you did something really bad you’d just
8:23
automatically get a blue slip and you’d
8:24
have to get them signed by your parents
8:26
and
8:27
i remember i was stacking up so many and
8:29
i didn’t want to get in trouble because
8:31
my mom didn’t really understand what
8:33
this was either so
8:34
all she knew was i was coming home with
8:38
warnings and getting in trouble so what
8:40
is a parent to do than to discipline
8:42
their child and
8:43
try to fix things at home
8:46
so i was tired of getting in trouble so
8:48
i was stacking these up in my folder and
8:51
just not
8:53
having them signed and then you know
8:55
next thing you know they’re like okay
8:56
this is a huge problem so they had
8:58
to bring in somebody to come meet with
9:00
me and and everything so then i started
9:02
this was in third grade i started seeing
9:04
a therapist once a week that would come
9:06
in and she would basically play like
9:08
board games with me and stuff and try to
9:10
figure me out so i think that’s when the
9:12
therapy part started and then in about
9:15
fifth grade i think they actually
9:16
diagnosed me and there was something
9:18
that happened at school that
9:22
you had continuously been like running
9:24
off to the bathroom just as a way of
9:26
coping with your hyperactivity to let
9:28
some of that energy out tell me what
9:30
happened yeah so i started to realize
9:33
obviously if you tell a teacher you have
9:35
to go the restroom
9:36
nine times out of ten they’re gonna let
9:38
you go
9:39
so
9:39
i found that was the only way i was able
9:42
to get up because i couldn’t just get up
9:44
and randomly walk around in class so
9:47
i started getting wise and said i’ll
9:49
just keep asking to go to the bathroom
9:51
and eventually my teacher had to sit
9:54
down with my mom and said
9:55
is your child sick does your child have
9:57
a bowel problem or basically wanted to
10:00
know if there was something wrong with
10:01
me because i so frequently asked to go
10:03
to the bathroom which obviously there
10:04
was nothing wrong with me i just wanted
10:07
to get up so that ended up having to
10:09
stop because that was no longer working
10:12
and then i just figured out how to
10:13
isolate
10:15
movements while i was sitting down so
10:17
tapping my foot or shaking my pen in the
10:20
air just little things so that i could
10:22
get my body moving
10:24
wow okay so
10:27
a worry about a bowel issue i know that
10:29
you know we’re learning more and more
10:30
about adhd as time goes on it’s just
10:34
interesting to me and nothing against
10:36
your teachers or the school or anything
10:38
like that there’s a lot of confusion out
10:39
there about adhd but they went straight
10:42
to bowel issue
10:43
before considering
10:45
maybe
10:46
this young girl is dealing with
10:48
hyperactivity and needs an outlet really
10:50
interesting
10:51
i don’t really know because i was young
10:53
but i think when i was growing up it
10:55
wasn’t as openly discussed and
10:58
i don’t think that
11:00
this catholic school
11:02
that i went to i don’t think they
11:03
understood because they were just so
11:05
used to these like really well-behaved
11:06
children that came in and i think i was
11:08
sort of an anomaly at the time so would
11:10
you say that that was really the aha
11:12
moment for you and your family yeah i
11:15
would say so because i think that was
11:17
around the time that i was tested
11:20
my mom thought the whole thing was funny
11:22
like she wasn’t even remotely worried
11:24
that it might be a bladder issue she
11:26
said okay what are you doing
11:28
so she kind of sat down with me and said
11:30
okay well what’s going on
11:32
and i told her i’m like i just need to
11:33
get up i just can’t sit in class that
11:36
whole time how did she react your mom
11:39
when you got diagnosed with adhd
11:42
i don’t think that she was surprised
11:45
my uncle actually had adhd so she was
11:49
familiar with it and she had always told
11:51
me and still tells me to this day that
11:52
i’m like very similar to my uncle in a
11:55
lot of ways which i love he was my
11:57
favorite but i think that she expected
11:59
it on some level it’s probably really
12:01
difficult to hear
12:03
that and i think that she wanted me to
12:05
accept a lot of help for it but
12:08
i was teased so much already
12:11
that i didn’t want
12:13
for example they’ll give you extra time
12:15
to take your tests or something like
12:17
that
12:18
and i was like absolutely not i don’t
12:20
want that because i was already
12:23
getting made fun of so much i knew that
12:25
if i got extra time to take a test the
12:26
teasing would have just
12:28
gone through the roof and so i just
12:29
suffered and
12:31
i wasn’t a terrible student even with
12:33
the 80d i still muscled through it was
12:36
just
12:37
harder you got tested again in college
12:40
is that right yes i did
12:42
why did you decide to have another
12:44
evaluation
12:46
as a lot of people are in this world i’m
12:49
a little extra difficult on myself and i
12:52
felt like maybe i didn’t really have it
12:55
and i was just
12:57
using it as a crutch to be a lazy
13:00
student or to say that oh my grades
13:03
aren’t as good because of this thing so
13:05
i thought it was an excuse i was using
13:08
and i was also interested in exploring
13:09
some medications because when i was
13:12
diagnosed as a kid my mom didn’t really
13:13
want to medicate me
13:15
so i wanted to explore medication and so
13:18
i said well let me get test and see if i
13:21
actually have it and if i do let me
13:23
explore what medication options there
13:25
are for me
13:27
that’s such a common feeling among a lot
13:30
of people myself included i got
13:31
diagnosed twice because i didn’t believe
13:34
that i had adhd i was like okay i’m just
13:36
gonna work harder i’m not gonna cut
13:38
myself any slack i’m gonna be super hard
13:40
on myself
13:41
sounds like
13:42
you were there as well do you still
13:44
think that adhd is a crutch no i think
13:47
tick-tock has been
13:49
an amazing resource for me to learn
13:51
that a lot of the
13:53
things that i do every day are a result
13:57
of my add and i think that it’s been
13:59
beautiful for me to see that i’m not
14:01
alone it’s also really validating to see
14:05
oh that thing that i do constantly that
14:08
maybe
14:09
somebody in my life might have told me
14:10
was annoying or
14:12
maybe that people harp on me a lot for
14:14
like something simple like being late
14:17
i had no idea that could be a factor
14:21
because it was like even when i was
14:24
cognizant of it and i was like i will
14:25
not be late i will not be late i will
14:27
not be late
14:28
it still happened even though i wanted
14:30
it so badly not to just little things
14:32
like that learning that
14:34
these are all factors in adhd it’s been
14:37
really nice to kind of have that
14:38
validation and realize that i’m not
14:40
crazy i’m not crazy i’m not lazy i’m not
14:43
useless
14:44
like little things that you tell
14:46
yourself when you have adhd it’s just
14:48
nice to have a community of people who
14:49
are
14:50
knowledgeable and can help explain
14:52
what’s going on i’m coming to find i
14:55
need to be a little bit more kind to
14:57
myself because i’m very hard on myself
14:59
in learning all of these things that
15:02
okay this is
15:03
a real disease and these are symptoms
15:06
that i have and
15:08
i can just learn from it and try to be a
15:11
little bit kinder to myself and then i
15:12
can get through every day and not be sad
15:16
it is just so exciting these days to see
15:18
more and more people come out of the
15:19
woodwork and talk openly about adhd and
15:22
not sweep it under the rug
15:25
[Music]
15:36
do you ever get in a really low mood
15:39
ever
15:40
yes and that was one of the greatest
15:42
things that i learned about adhd through
15:44
tiktok i tried to explain it to my mom a
15:48
couple times and i said
15:50
i have all this passion and all this
15:52
drive to perform like that’s what i want
15:54
to do i want to perform for my job
15:57
that’s what i want to do for a living
15:59
and i’ve always had such a strong
16:01
passion for it but then
16:03
i look at this mountain that i have to
16:05
climb
16:06
to get there and i said oh i got to do
16:08
this thing and this thing and this thing
16:09
and then the list of things that need to
16:11
get done start piling up
16:13
and
16:15
i just
16:16
get really down and i curl up into a
16:19
ball on my bed and i cry
16:21
and i don’t do anything
16:23
i think it’s called paralysis adhd
16:26
paralysis or something like that where
16:27
you just shut down completely and it
16:29
doesn’t mean you don’t want this thing
16:31
it doesn’t mean that you’re not trying
16:32
just as hard as the next person it just
16:34
means that you are literally paralyzed
16:37
by the idea of all of the things that
16:39
need to get done
16:40
so when i learned that it actually
16:42
answered a lot of things because i’ve
16:43
suffered with depression as well which i
16:45
now realize is all entangled in this
16:48
beautiful adhd web of mine
16:51
but i mean i’ve definitely gotten a lot
16:52
better and knowing that’s part of it has
16:55
been really helpful because i think just
16:56
being aware of something can help you
16:58
push past it
16:59
yeah i mean we know
17:01
that adhd can create so many challenges
17:03
like the ones that you’ve been
17:04
describing
17:06
and
17:07
facing those challenges day after day
17:09
and sometimes not being able to tackle
17:11
the challenges that you want to tackle
17:13
can lead to low self-esteem yes and
17:15
feelings of depression and you’re right
17:17
it is tangled there’s kind of a chicken
17:19
and egg thing
17:20
with adhd and depression but it one
17:22
thing is sure that if you have adhd
17:24
you’re more likely to have depression
17:25
than if you don’t have adhd some people
17:27
think that kids with adhd or people with
17:29
adhd are pre-wired for depression
17:33
did you ever feel depressed or down like
17:36
that
17:37
growing up that you remember
17:38
yeah 100
17:40
um
17:41
about to get real deep with you right
17:43
now
17:44
i was suicidal for quite a while i just
17:47
didn’t really see a solve
17:50
i felt like there were so many things
17:51
about me that i wanted to change and oh
17:54
if i could just chill out if i could
17:56
just be normal
17:58
and i felt like everything just kind of
18:00
piled on top of each other and i felt
18:02
like a burden to my family to my mom
18:04
specifically i just really felt like i
18:07
wasn’t somebody she could be proud of
18:09
and i felt like being gone would have
18:10
been easier for everybody
18:12
even talking about it now it’s really
18:14
hard
18:15
to talk about because i’m so glad that i
18:17
didn’t i’m so glad that i am where i am
18:19
now and that i can sit here and talk to
18:21
you about this and just be on the other
18:23
side of it because i’m so excited about
18:25
where my life is now and i think that
18:27
there are probably so many other people
18:28
in the position that i was who don’t see
18:31
a way out and
18:32
if you’re listening there is
18:34
it gets so much better so it was scary
18:37
for a while just that feeling of
18:39
helplessness it’s a hard thing to go
18:41
through
18:42
oh i’m so sorry that you went through
18:44
that and i’m so grateful that you shared
18:46
that
18:48
and how do you think you did pull
18:49
through what was it that kept you going
18:52
the people in my life who did understand
18:55
my mom and my sister and my dad my
18:57
immediate family my aunts and uncles i
18:59
just had the greatest support system
19:02
and
19:02
my mom maybe didn’t understand
19:06
everything there may be still to this
19:08
day things that she’s like olivia i just
19:10
don’t get that you can try to explain it
19:12
to me but i just don’t get it
19:14
and even though she still has
19:16
moments like that
19:17
she just supports me and she’s just like
19:20
i got you i’m here for you and when i
19:22
was at my lowest my sister told me she
19:25
was pregnant
19:26
and oh wow i just had this whole new
19:29
reason to live
19:30
and my niece is seven now and she’s
19:34
my entire world and i’m just so thankful
19:37
for her because
19:38
every day i’ve got this
19:40
beautiful
19:42
gorgeous being that
19:45
makes me so happy every day and i see so
19:46
much of myself in her like the corkiness
19:49
and the fun i see that in her and it’s
19:51
just so great because those are some of
19:53
my favorite things about her are the
19:55
parts of me that i see in her
19:58
you realize that you’re creating that
19:59
community right now for other people
20:02
like the thing that
20:04
pulled you through
20:05
that dark period in your life
20:07
you’re helping with that for other
20:09
people right now who may be listening
20:10
and maybe dealing with the same thing
20:12
that you coped with growing up and as an
20:14
adult and
20:15
that’s a really brave thing to do and i
20:17
commend you well thank you i mean in
20:20
sharing this i do hope that i help
20:22
somebody else because it’s not an easy
20:24
thing to talk about and
20:26
i think that
20:28
being where i am now
20:30
and i’m not perfect i still have days
20:32
where i just want to shut the door and
20:34
cry for a little while but
20:36
i think that knowing where i’ve been
20:40
helps
20:41
with the moments where i feel like that
20:43
because i’m just such a different person
20:45
now
20:46
and i can’t say it gets better enough it
20:49
really really does and those darkest
20:52
moments i’m thankful for them at this
20:54
point
20:55
what do you love about your adhd brain
21:00
what’s great is that i think it’s almost
21:03
part of my personality that like quirky
21:05
and fun and oh wait did i finish that
21:07
sentence thing about me
21:10
is one of my favorite things i think
21:11
that like
21:13
the energy that i have is beautiful
21:15
honestly and i think that has a lot to
21:17
do with my adhd brain because i’m
21:19
constantly trying to catch up with
21:20
myself
21:22
and it’s fun
21:24
yeah and i think that the media often
21:26
like catches on to a lot of the fun or
21:29
funnier aspects of adhd and that’s not
21:32
necessarily a bad thing it’s cool that
21:35
people lean into that and it can be you
21:37
know part of the conversation
21:39
what i worry about that sometimes i
21:41
don’t want people to forget that adhd is
21:43
real and it’s hard and it creates real
21:46
challenges and when adhd is coupled up
21:48
with something like depression or
21:50
anxiety
21:52
it becomes as you said like this tangled
21:55
web yeah
21:56
i agree with you and i still struggle
21:58
when it comes to creativity because i do
22:00
love to write but sometimes i’ll sit
22:03
down with the pen and paper and
22:06
all my motivation is gone or it just
22:09
seems like too big a task so every day
22:11
is something different but i do think
22:14
that my adhd brain
22:16
contributes to my creativity
22:25
you’ve been listening to adhd aha from
22:27
the understood podcast network you can
22:30
listen and subscribe to adhd aha on
22:32
apple spotify or anywhere you get your
22:34
podcasts and if you like what you heard
22:36
today tell someone about the show we
22:39
rely on listeners like you to reach and
22:41
support more people
22:42
and if you want to share your own aha
22:44
moment email us at
22:46
adhdaha understood.org
22:49
i’d love to hear from you you can go to
22:51
u.org
22:53
adhd aha to find details on each episode
22:56
and related resources that’s the letter
22:59
u as an understood dot o r g slash adhd
23:04
aha understood as a nonprofit and social
23:07
impact organization
23:09
we have no affiliation with
23:10
pharmaceutical companies
23:12
learn more at understood.org
23:15
mission
23:16
adhd aha is produced by jessamine mali
23:19
say hi jessamine hi everyone justin d
23:22
wright created our music seth melnick
23:25
and brianna berry are our production
23:26
directors scott kosher is our creative
23:29
director
23:30
and i’m your host laura key editorial
23:32
director at understood thanks so much
23:35
for listening
23:36
[Music]
23:37
[Applause]
23:38
[Music]
24:10
you

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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