—
Q: Allana, I accidentally found out that my 16 year old daughter is pregnant. I’m so disappointed. I couldn’t find my phone so I used hers to call while she was in the shower and one of her friends sent a text that said “You’re pregnant?! Holy shit!” We’ve always had a close relationship and I don’t want to break that bond but I also want to confront her and ask her about what’s happened.
A: You own it! Simply apologize for using her phone, let her know you were just trying to find yours, but be honest and truthful that you saw something you shouldn’t have but that you love her and want to know what is going on with her. There are times that we want to keep these great relationships with our kids but we are their parents and we are here to protect them, to guide them.
—
—
hello wonderful amazing people here at
Alana Pratt calm moved the paintings are
still not on the wall and the office is
not quite organized and lots not
organized but I’m doing my best and I’m
here to show up perfectly imperfect with
you and answer your very important
questions that are more important
frankly than putting the painting on the
wall right now okay so this is your
question Alana I accidentally found out
that my 16 year old daughter is pregnant
I’m so disappointed I couldn’t find my
phone so I used hers to call while she
was in the shower and one of her friends
sent a text that said you’re pregnant
holy shit
we’ve always had such a close
relationship and I don’t want to break
that bound bound that we had the
boundary but I also want to confront her
and tell ask her about what’s happened
okay there’s some things that you just
sort of let slide they’re just not worth
the time and there’s other things that
you need to talk about and these this is
one of those things that you need to
talk about and you just own it you own
what I’m sorry I I couldn’t find my
phone I use yours I apologize
I saw something I probably shouldn’t
have seen but it’s so important as your
mother we need to talk to you I need to
talk to you about this I love you please
tell me what’s going on with your body
with a baby
just be straight there’s some times that
we want to just like keep these great
relationships with our kids and we want
to be great friends but over and above
it all we’re their parents we’re here to
protect them we’re here to guide them
even if they don’t like it even if they
don’t like us I think a lot of parents
are unwilling to have your kids not like
you and as a result they they they run
us right so this is a moment where you
really need to talk about this okay but
not that she’s wrong okay I’d like you
to be able to be the parent but not from
judgment and disappointment is a is a
very normal reaction of course you’re
disappointed this is a huge thing this
is the hood the rest of her life is
different than you thought and she
thought it would be she’s probably
scared she’s probably freaking out her
friends are probably not the right
person to talk to you or maybe the best
people to talk to you are okay you and I
don’t know if you’re married you and
your husband are so first do your own
inner work so that you can come from
judgment and you can come from
compassion and strength and courage okay
because wow a lot of wonderful people
came to this planet when their mothers
were 15 16 17 18 19 kay and they’re
awesome people and they’re really glad
they’re on the planet and they love what
their mom and/or dad had to go through
to raise them and so that’s a
possibility I don’t know what your
upbringing is but abortion is another
possibility these are important
questions that each and every one of us
need to make on our own and you guys
need to do it as a family if you need
someone to help you hold space I would
be honored to hold a space so that
everybody feels heard and we can get to
the deepest truth that’s right for
everybody including that baby all right
so this is intense put on your big-girl
panties just own what you need to
apologize for and own that you’re her
parent and let go of judgment and be
fierce love this is a moment for fierce
love and if I can help you manager at
Alana Pratt calm reach outlets let’s
book a strategy session right away and
get everybody on the line and if for
some odd reason you’re in the los
angeles area it’d be wonderful to sit
together for something like this but if
not skype is pretty damn powerful I have
clients all over the world and that
connection is right there as we look and
hear each other okay thank you for
reaching out you can do this and this is
a beautiful opportunity for you as well
as a parent and how are you gonna handle
the
everybody here has a challenging gift on
their hands all right all my love and I
can’t wait to hear back from you thank
you for your question
—
This post was previously published on www.allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
—
What’s your take? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
◊♦◊
Get the best stories from The Good Men Project delivered straight to your inbox, here.
Photo credit: Istockphoto.com