30. Will existing ever feel the same? Will I overthink my 20s over and over from the day I officially loose them? Will I really start this article by asking 382 questions?
Nope — don’t worry.
(Be sure, I already do for both of us.)
While trying to not be too impressed by turning 30, I totally fail. Honestly, I am overly aware of the countdown to end my twenties.
3 months left!
‘The golden age’ is what they say. ‘The best time of your life’ is what they say. The fittest time. Goodbye, twenties. ‘Old now’ is what they say.
But who is they and why do they say so much?
Society. Society has subtle or not so subtle opinions about everything.
Where you should be in life at 30 is one of the not so subtle opinions. House, husband, kids (at least one), secure but boring job. This is still the model no one questions.
Society! What did you do to us?
Many people fall for this standard model and I guess half of them might be happy. The other half might just avoid facing their own truth — and avoid asking uncomfortable questions about their life.
So while I can write these lines with a bit of irony and a grin, societal norms still affect me.
I am death scared of turning 30.
They tell us it’s a magic threshold. (bad magic) A line that makes everything different once crossed.
Why the hell am I so impressed by 30?
I have learned to not believe societal bullshit. To question mainstream opinions based on no facts. I know that a mere number changes nothing. Theoretically.
Truth is that big changes in life rarely have a Big Bang. I wrote an article on that. Instead, change happens slowly. We can proactively shape it. The punchline goes like this: Massive changes occur by daily mini steps. And are accompanied by setbacks. And then you take two steps at once. And then another one. It’s a bit like dancing cha cha cha. After three songs, you are in the other corner of the dancing hall. And your mind is a whole different world.
My point is there is absolutely no logic behind believing that 30 changes everything. Some hundred years ago people did not even know their age.
Age is no determinant of health rather than of how life should look like. The only sphere where it is really relevant is the legal sphere — and this was completely invented by humans, too.
Maybe we attach so much importance to that numeric invention to feel a sense of control. People like to know when they should be where. It makes us feel as if we had a schedule or, at least, a plan.
Does this make us happier? Probably not. Does this define us? No, if we do not believe the BS we are told about age.
At 30 you start getting wrinkles and you should have a family, at 40 beware of midlife crisis and at 20 you miss everything if you do not party the hell out of your life. At 50, please avoid talking about age at all cost as this is a negative topic now.
All this is not true.
You define you. Your age doesn’t.
Some elderly people run marathons. Some young people love hanging on the couch on a Saturday. Some medium authors sit on their desk on a Friday night and write about becoming 30 when at the same time, they do not want to attach importance to age.
Age is a construct we should not think about too often. Life is much more about how we feel than the number attached to us.
Pardon: how we make ourselves feel!
…
Thanks for reading my article! I strive to build a community here on medium and dedicate my words to self-development and sustainability. Your support of my mission with some claps or a comment is highly appreciated! 🚀 Cheers, Jacky
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash.
One day you will be 50, and willing to trade your eye teeth just to be 35 again; this, even though you discovered at 40 that everything peaks around 27.