When 1992 started, I was 33 years old. At the time, I did not yet have the awareness of how some of the decisions that I was going to make in that year would have such a massive impact on my life personally and professionally.
While at this program, I was coached for the first time in a very intense way on a daily basis. This coaching had a way of getting me to see into my beliefs and paradigms, as a result of the self-inventories I let go of what was not supporting me and my growth.
I stopped smoking cigarettes on June 4, 1992; I returned to university in the fall of 1992 and completed my BA over the next four years, and I stepped into a more intentional version of myself.
I found the facilitator of the program online and called her in 2020 and thanked her for the impact that her coaching during that program had on my life. She was kind in her response to my feedback and told me that she had not ever received such a call from any previous program participants.
The impact of attending that program sustained my growth until my next life-changing experience in the spring of 2000 when I met two facilitators of a leadership development program. They would become my trusted mentors and advisors for the next 18 years providing me with some of the most amazing and outstanding development experiences.
During one of the coaching sessions that I experienced with my two coaches, one of them shared with me the affirmation; I am Free of Fear and Full of Love. I wrote it on an index card and carried it in my pocket to remind me of such a self-supporting affirmation.
I was ready for that affirmation, like no other time in my life, when she shared it with me. In a future coaching session, she reminded me of the affirmation and wrote it on a large flip paper, It is in her handwriting on hanging in my office for me to see every day.
The impact of her words continues to be present in my life today.
I have learned to pay attention to my feelings and allow them to waft over me, and with that comes some fear. The fear that I am not enough or other outdated self-destructive thoughts. Fear will always be a part of my life, what I do with it either supports me or defeats me, so I have taken the habit of striving to live free of fear.
My coach had a massive capacity for accepting and loving others unconditionally and our hearts connected from the first moment we met. She modeled for me how to express loving behaviors as a leader in a corporate setting, which previously had been a severe source of conflict for me given the expectations of those who lacked a people-centered focus in their management/leadership style.
I found joy in my leadership roles when I embraced this affirmation for myself and modeled it for those I was working with at the time. It was not always accepted to be a ‘loving’ leader and still, I made the decision to live to my values and let the chips fall as they may.
I see now the risks that I took with some of my career decisions and I am delighted that in hindsight they worked in my favor.
For those who might work from the paradigm that LOVE has no place in the workplace, I invite you to consider this acronym that has supported me in developing my own leadership style and in coaching others in finding their way to an intentional leadership style.
Listen: Listening empathetically sends the message that you are caring and compassionate.
Observe: Giving attention to what is going around you models being in the present.
Value: Acknowledging what each person adds to your team invites them to make bigger and more impactful contributions.
Educate: Creating learning experiences for those on your team makes it safe for them to try new things and grow more confident in their skills and knowledge.
In my opinion, LEADERS have a responsibility to create safe and inclusive workspaces for their team members and from my experience with keeping my affirmation front of mind with my actions, I received supportive feedback from those who have worked with me that LOVE does indeed have a place in the workplace.
How might you enhance your Listening skills to show more empathy towards others?
What might you do or say to others to let them know that they matter?
How might you include more empowering educational experiences for others to leverage in their development?
DAK, CH, and TR had a significant impact on how I developed my leadership style which at the core exemplifies the affirmation that I was gifted with all of those years ago.
I am Free of Fear and Full of Love.
With much gratitude…
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock
