
As if dating wasn’t hard enough to begin with, online dating is more complicated than ever.
You spend all this time swiping, and when you finally get a well-rounded, attractive match, they end up trying to get you to sign up for something.
Or worse yet, they’re a catfish.
The good news is that after a lot of hard work, I figured out a simple, but effective formula to get real, meaningful matches on Tinder (it also works for Bumble and Hinge).
Let’s cut the BS and get right to it.
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You have to be honest.
This is pretty simple. Don’t expect to get honest matches if your profile is not even honest.
Did you add 2 inches in height? Did you put a picture in front of a car that isn’t even yours? Did you say you’ve been to England, but really your mom just visited once?
(These are all super real little lies I’ve seen)
You have to be honest on your profile.
Be straightforward about what you are looking for, and where you are at in your life. You don’t want to match with someone who likes someone who isn’t even you!
That doesn’t mean your profile has to look like your resume. You can still have fun with your profile while being honest. It just means that you should make the important details clear.
If they sound like a scam, they’re probably a scam.
The number of times where I’ve entertained a scam just in case they’re real… Yeah, don’t do that.
If their pictures are extremely blurry (iPhones have had good cameras forever), if they are unclear about where they’re from or their intentions, or if they ask for pictures of your feet, it’s probably best to just unmatch, and not waste your time.
There are so many people in this world, and a lot of them are trying to find a partner online. Unless you’re in a small city, you will have a hard time swiping through all your options.
So, don’t waste time with potentially fake accounts.
Make your first meet-up in public.
You have to be safe when you are dating online. A lot of people sign up for Tinder and are swiping from their couches trying to find someone to Netflix & Chill.
While that offer might be tempting, it’s probably best if you just meet them in a public place first.
If they are hesitant to do so, then that makes their intentions clear and is pretty sketchy. Don’t waste your time with these people unless that is what you are looking for too.
Even then, still kind of sketchy.
If you want to find a meaningful relationship online, wait for someone who is excited to go on a date with you.
Ask your friends
I would recommend you always ask your friends what they think. You don’t need to show them any private conversations if you don’t want to, but they will likely be able to look at their profile and give their opinion if they seem like they want something serious.
Now, you don’t always want to judge a book by its cover… but let’s get real here. This is online dating and you are almost always swiping based on the cover.
The best thing to do though is to get an opinion on any conversation you are questioning.
The other good perk about asking your friends is that quite often they might have matched with them already and have the inside scoop!
Or! They know someone who has.
The Tinder world can sometimes be smaller than we realize.
Use multiple apps
If you see the same person on multiple apps, it is a good sign that they really want to meet someone, and are real. It doesn’t make their intentions clear, but at least it lets you know they are likely not fake.
Chances are, they are having trouble finding good matches just like you.
The majority of the time, the people I have found on Tinder, Bumble, AND Hinge, are the most serious and have usually resulted in real, and quite often, great dates.
If you do this though, make sure your profile is consistent across each app!
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Closing remarks
By following these guidelines, I’ve managed to get multiple meaningful matches. Some matches turned into one date, others a couple of dates, and my current boyfriend was a match too!
The most important rule is to remain honest. Don’t get desperate and start lying on your profile thinking it will make a difference. You’ll regret it!
I have posted these rules on Reddit in the past and had a couple of others who got into relationships after switching their strategy too!
So, don’t give up just yet, and follow these rules.
Best of luck in your journey of love!
We love you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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