I Get Paid to Document My Intuition

Anything I put on paper is not planned. The recipe is actually very easy,

don’t think about what I write
write what I think about

Simple. This is easy for me because my mind is always racing. I’m often told I “think too much” or “live inside my head”. I’m a writer, that’s my job. I dare to go where many won’t, within. Deep within. My cerebral sensitivity is a superpower.

I’m a writer, and part of that power often means, living inside my own head and allowing my mind to be flooded with thoughts, and recording them. Because somewhere inside of me is a story trying to tell itself.

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Writers Are Cerebral People

Nothing external needs to stimulate us

The messages in our heads are that powerful. Our minds are always on and coming up with ideas. Our bodies always have something to say to us. Many of us talk to ourselves,

I mean really talk to ourselves.

I talk to myself out loud and frequently. Some call it “crazy”, but I call it productivity. I can often be found rambling narratives to myself in the streets, in my apartment — anywhere and everywhere. I’m a writer.

Talking to myself out loud allows me to remember my own words when I’m in a position where I don’t have a pen nearby to write them down. I have ADHD, my mind is always on, even when the rest of me appears to be off.

Writing is a crucial part of remembering, for me

Talking to myself makes the process of remembering easier. This is my way of presenting myself with my own concepts — before putting them on paper. Before making them real.

One strategy I use is visualizing myself in an interview and allowing every word that is pulled from me to flow. I do this especially when I’m in the shower when my mind seems to come up with the best things to tell, knowing damn well I’m unable to write it down.

I choose my interviewer, my mind creates the questions and I let my feelings flow with natural responses. I won’t lie, this method usually makes me cry but every word comes from the heart, so I remember them organically. In the end, I always end up conversing an entire article into existence.

In fact, that’s exactly how this article was written.

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Anything I Put On Paper Isn’t Planned

People believe our thoughts and feelings are separate categories

No, they’re not. Often what you refuse to feel will show up in your thoughts. That is how our feelings communicate with us. After all, intuition is a personal conversation.

My intuition is an inner voice, navigating me at all times. And I’ve learned to be steered. I allow the words to speak for themselves and I’ve stopped trying to control how they’re being formed.

Instead, I do the only thing I’m truly supposed to do, write and witness what is happening on the page. I let it come naturally and I do it this way because sometimes what I was feeling inside wasn’t directly able to identify itself. Sometimes there was too much noise.

Writing it all down gave me a bird’s eye view of myself, and the chaos going on inside me. And afterward, I’d hold onto my words. All of them. I did this because I’d get this strong feeling about them and the importance they would have one day.

These articles have been writing themselves

And little by little, over time, many things I’ve written have come together in ways I truly couldn’t have imagined.

poems
articles
personal stories
and open letters

In fact, documenting my intuition has gone on to form every single piece of writing on my Medium roster because I’ve learned that my thoughts are voices and that these voices have messages embedded inside of them.

Once I get it out and put the messages together it becomes clear what I’ve been trying to say. It becomes clear that I even had something to say. But I never think about what I want to write, I just write what comes to mind.

My thoughts control the pen. Now that I understand this, I leave small notepads and pens in every room, just in case the urge to write hits me.

I also carry a notepad and pen on me when I leave home. This way, I’m able to write anywhere at any time. My only responsibilities are as followed —

let the voices speak
record what they say
spread the message

My method works for me.

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Photo by hannah grace on Unsplash

Writing Is My Responsibility

There actually is no other path for me

I mentioned in my “About Me” story that the only effective method of purging for me is to write — whether I like it or not. I say that because there have been many times writing down what was eating at me inside felt too painful for me to do.

So I didn’t do it.

I was letting the voices bounce off the walls in my head, but I never opened the window of my hands to let them out. My head eventually became stuffed with things I wasn’t saying and other physical ailments developed.

Including —

excessive panic attacks
difficulties swallowing food
breathing troubles

Truthfully, I always get very ill when I stop writing, to get the poisonous words out of me. So, I’ve had no choice but to write. It quite literally keeps me healthy.

Therefore, I have to write everything my body tells me to write down because any moment that I refuse to write is a moment of self-suppression. Refusing to write is equivalent to me putting my soul on mute. It’s me ignoring my own SOS.

This is how I’ve realized that writing is my responsibility. This isn’t something I’m doing for fun. This isn’t a hobby to me. I take this shit very seriously. I have to because writing is why I’m here.

This is actually my calling.

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This Is What Believing In Yourself Means

I show my intuition more respect these days

Because as time has progressed, I’ve witnessed the parallels between what has happened around me and what I’ve put in ink. I’ve experienced the future reveal itself through my intuitive thoughts. I’ve watched future articles write themselves.

Writing from an intuitive standpoint has taught me that no one will know me as intimately as I will always know myself. It’s taught me to trust myself because I’ve ultimately followed my intuition into my own healing, and unexpected (and unforeseen) success.

Documenting these streams of consciousness is how I’m healing myself. This is making me successful and I’m sharing them with you because they might help. And because I’ve finally made peace with my responsibility as a writer.

I’ve finally surrendered to the fact that I have a responsibility to write. I respect the fact that these words have their own voices to lend, to myself and others. I’m just sharing with you how I go about doing it.

Witnessing this process unfold has been very beautiful because now I have faith in that little voice of mine. I know it’s guiding me and I trust what I put in writing and give it time to come to fruition — because it always does. Because I finally recognize my thoughts as the intuitive messages they truly are.

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Write It All Down

Mental space is a personal place

Those interactions between you and your thoughts are sacred so respect the urge to write because that is when the door opens for you. So… write. Let those words fall out because those voices in your head are —

manuscripts
short stories
novels (the next Bestseller, maybe)
memoirs
personal/open letters
articles
life-changing ideas
manuals
recipes
your truth

Heed the inspiration when it comes because it will only ever be as potent, and as raw, as it is in that moment. Trust yourself and write it when you feel it because that is your window of opportunity. This is when the cerebral cage opens.

Write your words exactly as you are giving them to yourself. Even if it doesn’t make sense now, everything will be clear in time. Trust that you know what you’re writing. Intuition takes time to materialize. Trust that in time, those words will come in handy.

And don’t put your creativity off for later. Don’t give yourself the chance to lose your words. Write it as it comes, write it all, and write it down. Your words are assisting you, so let them. See what you have to say to yourself.

That’s my advice to you.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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