I’m not a huge fan of dating to begin with. It’s never been one of my strong suits, I’m terrible at it, and I’m not getting any better at it, it seems.
However, in a column earlier in the year, I discussed the options in online dating, and wondered aloud how safe it was these days. Then, I heard from an old friend of mine, Becca, who I thought was the one true success in online dating.
She and her husband (now ex) met on Match.com back in the early 2000’s. They have 2 daughters together. Back when she and I worked together, they had their ups and downs, but their marriage seemed relatively strong.
Goes to show what I know.
So, come to find out, they’ve been divorced somewhere around 5 years now. She has met yet another guy, online but I didn’t get the website this time, and is currently engaged to the new guy.
I have to hand it to her, she has tenacity.
Becca is a super cute girl, funny, just an all around fun young lady. So, I thought, if it truly can’t work out for Becca, what hope is there for anyone else? Well, let’s throw a hat in the ring and find out.
OKCupid was the least offensive, in my opinion, of the unpaid services. It seemed as though the focus was more on the “person” as far as the profiles went, and I saw zero dick pics as I scrolled through. Therefore, it was already 80% better than the others.
So, I gave myself a name, filled in the mandatory sections with data that is similar to mine, but not so similar you can find me in a stack of chics, and hit enter.
Below, you will find actual messages between these “gentlemen” and myself, and no, they aren’t edited.
G: I’m looking for a woman with pretty feet who is open to the fetish do I’m in the same boat with not being able to find someone
M: Oh. Yea, with the foot fetish psychological implications, you mean ?
Sent
G: lol no just no women want their feet touched or think it’s creepy
G: What’s the implications?
Sep 21 5:15pm
G: Don’t wanna talk anymore?
Saturday — 5:31pm
G: Guess not :/
2. This one is simply the picture I have on the profile (with my face half hidden with my hair), he copied and pasted the photo of me and simply said this:
G: pretty
As you can see in this one, my entire mood has become sarcastic for lack of a better term:
M: I’m just getting to work
G: What do you do for work?
M: Bartend. Sometimes well.
G: Cool….. Night owl huh
M: Definitely
So, when he didn’t pick up on the joke, I couldn’t even make myself continue the conversation.
This is basically how the entire scenario went. Except for the foot fetish guy, and I will tell you that I really actually want to go back and ask him if he Googled it after I said something about it, but from the way he continued to message me, I am assuming that he didn’t. Or, maybe he did, and he’s looking for someone who doesn’t mind being with a probable sex offender. I’m sure I’ll pass on that.
In the past couple of months since I undertook this task, I have spoken to Becca a handful of times. She seems fairly love drunk with her new engagement, and I’m happy that she is happy for the moment, but there are some of the same issues in this relationship as there were in the last. However, I am no bubble buster, so I simply congratulated her and moved right along.
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Previously Published on Medium
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