Have you heard about the new book all teenagers are required to read?
It’s called: I’m terrible at math, I suck at writing, I’m ugly and fat, and other reasons to hate yourself. -written by All Teens.
Remember when you were a teen? Life sucked, but it contained some moments of greatness. You had all these hormones floating around, your body was changing, and school was getting harder. It was and still is a breeding ground of self-deprecation.
According to dictionary.com:
Self-deprecating means:
Belittling or undervaluing oneself; excessively modest.
It’s almost 2019 and from my experience teens rarely are modest so let’s focus on the first part. Belittling or undervaluing oneself is a teen staple, and it needs to be stopped dead in its tracks. Focusing on how much you suck at everything leave little room to be good or even great at something. It also crushes your self-esteem. To be more precise, you are crushing your self-esteem.
Because of that, we are starting to see a rise in depression, suicide and a need for verbal appraise for self-worth.
Instead of letting teen’s struggle through this phase(that can carry on well into adulthood), I challenge you as a parent to actively do something to stop it. Helping to teach them to raise their self-esteem is a gift that will last a lifetime.
Four steps to stop self-depreciation in your teen:
- Catch them in the act of self-deprecation and tell them exactly what they are doing to their self-esteem.
- Words have power. Teach them to use them correctly. Instead of “I suck at…”, try “I need to work on…”
- Teach them their value. Tell your teen what they are great at. Let them know how it hurts you to watch them hurt themselves.
- Call them on it every time. “what did you just say?”, “so what you’re really saying is…”
Teenagers want verbal confirmation that they are fantastic. Sometimes they need someone to prove them wrong. Give it only when it is deserved, so they don’t spend the rest of their lives requiring that from everyone around them.
People, the gauntlet has been dropped. Teach your teens how to value their self-worth and how much power there is in the words they say.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
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